Complete with rebellious Sagittarian “I live life by my way” attitude. she was basically a hybrid of some things that, today, I’ve since done or become, some qualities that I didn’t yet realise that I already WAS, but definitely, she was effortlessly confident, effortlessly in flow , personally and professionally expressed and she was radiantly IMPACTFUL in all the ways at the time that I perceived that I wasn’t yet and so wanted to be (or wanted to be again.)
Then, there’s the REALITY of what had happened over the years when i started TRYING to be any of what I envisioned and ESPECIALLY when you start TRYING to impress or please anyone or showcase all the best parts of yourself you SOOOOOO want them to see (and love).
[Cut the awards night music and cue the standard harsh sound of ripping the needle across the record and the intro music for the blooper reel of “impact” gone slightly “wrong.”]
Like that time in high school on a sports day I was taking a run up to jump over a rope barrier, noticed my high school love interest at the time was watching, executed, only to get half way through, have the wind blow the rope further into the air, so that my back foot DIDN’T in fact clear it…..and as I brought that foot through, proceeded to have one of those moments that looked less graceful, but A1 typical of every Warner Brothers cartoon moment where the character works out mid air that they’d just accidentally run off a cliff. I still stuck the landing, but definitely SAW it going SO much better in my head.
Or that time last year that I was standing at an impromptu beach dance party on a warm evening, with both friends and work people alike all around, started to execute what, on a Sunday morning dance-floor, would’ve been the right leg raise of a reasonably well executed Pirouette, only because it was hot and sweaty… and i was wearing skinny jeans instead of leggings… and I just caught the eye of a guy who i definitely wanted to finally GET it that I could be THAT feminine flowy expressed, INSTEAD, my leg literally gets stuck half way because of…sweaty skinny jeans....and so i do it again and overemphasise the STUCK bit mid eye gaze with a “damn it!” of frustration, embarrassed laugh.....in a manner more akin to the elegance of Bridget Jones, than a woman who’s name, in Russian literally means “Dancer.”
Interesting, isn’t it, what happens when you start TRYING to be something or impress someone with something you don’t think they already see or GET?
Contrast that with other dancy moments, on stage, in the middle of comedy performances and audiences full of agents, where there was no pressure to dance perfectly, as per the script we'd written. i just had to, say suddenly fall under a trance in the middle of a hypnotherapy workshop and, along with several others, burst into singing and dancing "I will survive” until the Hypnotherapist stopped the music; and had laughing audiences give standing ovations to that. And thought not nearly as much about the technical execution of the dance bit of it (because it was MEANT to look exactly as it probably looked)…until the next day, I’d be pulled aside by my Drama Lecturer at the end of class and asked if i'd passed the dance audition at the start of the year and why WASN'T i also doing Dance (and what was I doing about singing), when i could clearly also move and sing.
Funny, isn't it how, in the moments where you're NOT trying to be awesome, and you’re not trying to impress anyone, you just lose yourself in the flow of the moment, that you BE awesome, you shine and people notice and are positively impacted by your genius.
I’m an avid believer that anything in life is possible and any dream or vision we find ourselves repetitively having and feel drawn to act upon is a future prediction of what is already wanting to unfold and flow through us and the components of it TO us in the present moment. In that respect, no dream can be given to us we don’t already have the ability to actualise. Sometimes though, we just have to get out of our own way. of our own mind trying to control it, of our limiting beliefs about what we think we are, about wether we think we are or aren’t already "enough", of our limiting beliefs about how we think others see us....because they can become the literal disconnect from the flow of us actually achieving it. And more than that, prevent us being able to receive the love, support and the entirely complimentary partners in that reality, that are actually already trying to reach us….whether we realise it or not.
Thus getting good at BEING (not just TRYING to be awesome) is about:
Learning to see ourselves, see others and see life in the present moment as things REALLY are….through our soulful eyes, not just the constructs of our mental eyes, (which can and will see and show you evidence of whatever you believe to be the most true, good or bad. So probably best to sync them up with our soulful eyes, which see things from a much higher and more loving vantage point).
And learning to trust, surrender to the flow of and partner with a universal intelligence that is constantly conspiring in our favour always and in the direction of the constant unfolding of our highest potential, moment to moment. More often on purpose, rather than by accident.
That presence, wether we notice or not, is constantly sending us little signs and giving us little hints right throughout life, to ensure we stay in connection and alignment with that universal intelligence.
That vision I had in 2010, these days, in hindsight, I laugh and roll my eyes realising NOW that I already WAS so many of the things I wanted to be that I thought I wasn’t. Which is precisely why part of my genius in recent years has been helping others also see THEMSELVES and their full potential with clarity in the moments where they're struggling to see it too....and then supporting them to live, lead, speak, create and relate from that place. We teach what we learn.
Have you too ever had one of those “leader who’s lost their way” moments? if you ever, or the next time you do, remember you're so much more awesome thank you think you are. It's just time to reconnect. Here to help if you ever need.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
If you spend any time keeping up with sales and marketing trends, you’ll no doubt be aware, that for awhile now, online programs and online education have been hailed as part of the way of the future. And that’s true. And there’s a whole new art and process to the development of an online business, for those who happen to be in the business of selling a unique service they offer and not just someone else’s product.
This last few years, I’ve both watched and helped many people have a whole bunch of success in this realm. But just as often, supported people who gave building an online program their all, but it didn’t fly and they’re now pulling away from the whole thing, feeling largely disheartened and disillusioned with the whole thing.
Which is why I feel like it’s kind of NEEDED to point out that there’s a whole set of pre-requisite preparations you have to have made before you can expect to build an online program and see it get massive momentum. And if you hire a Mentor, they too should be telling you this.
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FIRST (OR AT MINIMUM ALONGSIDE)
WORK ON YOUR COMMUNICATING AND RELATING SKILL SET
Take it from someone who's been hired to improve client retention for years, while leaders working on their inner game and communication and relationship skills and modes of service, there’s really know way around this one. If you want to work in the business of helping people, there’s nothing like starting a business to show you where you’re still playing out a bunch of learned unhelpful habits and childhood traumas in connection with others, where the deficiencies are in your ability to communicate effectively with them, plus build lasting relationships with others. And in this case, when it comes to online programs and sharing a message that is largely fixed in the online space, until you or an online staff member is engaged for an actual conversation, the need to be clear and confident in what you’re intending and offering is greater than ever in online business. Because the client only has the website, the sales page, the video, the visual content to go off and what vibe they can pick up from that, until such time as you've built sufficient testimonials and social proof and social media numbers up that you get authentic momentum in people realising via social proof you've got something powerful that clearly works. And/or they get that chance to interact in real time with you.
Thus, its worth taking the time to learn how to bring the absolute best of you and what you have to give in service into your communicating and relating practices.
WORK ON YOUR MODES OF SERVICE (DELIVERING AND REFINING YOUR MAGIC, BUSINESS MANAGEMENT, LEADERSHIP AND PUBLIC SPEAKING)
This section relates to the 4 main modes of service every Business Owner who has something important to say to the world and wants to make a difference helping solve people’s problems has to nail in order to achieve positive impact. The online program pre-planning steps below are where refining your magic and business development meet.
ONLINE PROGRAM PRE-PLANNING
Here’s a few business steps you have to take FIRST. (One’s that many people who bought online course building programs and haven’t nailed it yet, need to come back to.)
1. You need to have made a couple of basic decisions about exactly who you want to help via this awesome future program and with what.
2. You have to have some expert knowledge of that market and their problems and aspirations.
3. You need to make sure that the way you talk about what YOU know about their problems and aspirations, matches up with the way they think and talk about their problems and aspirations.
Helping anyone and everyone is a noble intention, but a message that is aimed at no-one in particular, connects with no-one in particular. A bit like ordering Uber eats….how can anyone bring you food if you don’t select a restaurant, a dish/dishes, and actually submit an order? Same thing with your online message, if you don’t make a decision about who you’re helping and with what. For the marketing about an online program to connect, you HAVE to know that audiences problems intimately and inside out and have a good idea of what they’re aspiring to inside out, so that when someone from your target market reads you talking about your program, they immediately think what you said was like you just stepped inside their head and were reading their mind and wrote it just for them. Period.
4. Finally, you need to do some market research on level of interest in what you’ve come up with. You need to check that a reasonable representative sample of your market are actually willing and motivated to buy what you want to offer and for that specific problem or set of problems. (This is about attuning to the collective energy of how that market needs you to show up with all that you have for them in the present, beyond what “my 3 Masters and phD’s worth of accumulated knowledge and experience that qualify me to know” alone would think is the way.)
5. Then you need to create the solution and structure it in a way that makes it as simple as possible to understand the concepts behind why you’re teaching it, what the processes are and exactly how, where and when to apply them and for what (which might mean, doing a little extra training yourself in how to both train/teach and how to present content in dynamic and impactful ways that get the best learning outcomes.)
6. Do a first “test” run on delivering your solution, then
7. Get feedback about what the client did and didn’t get out of it and on anything else they’d like added or addressed now (which you examine with objectivity and a degree of discernment to determine that they got sufficient value out of it and if it’s worth running again and further investing in AND
8. Refine what you just created into a version 2.0 that you start putting more resources behind. If it works again in repeat, THEN you start throwing your everything behind it.
At minimum, depending on the program length, that could take you 6 months to a year to execute, sometimes up to 3 or more before you nail ALL of the above enough for this program to truly fly and you should be planning to have an alternative source of income (wether accumulated in the past or off something else you do in the present for that time).
Because like they say in tiny fine print at the bottom of sales pages and terms and conditions forms, that "how amazing is she" million dollar Mumpreneur you just read about, who's nailed everything i just wrote about and got out of her own way, is NOT A-1 typical of everyone attempting online program building for a living...so please don't beat the mental bejeebus out of yourself thinking you're not as good as her, or him or any other entrepreneur sharing their present wins. For every one of those, most entrepreneurs who are still in it now have had just as many failed attempts at offerings as they have had wins. (Lord knows I have...and more than that, i could tell you why i had every one of those fails and how NOT to do it again.)
And just FYI, half those people who advertised on FB last month with their amazing "secret formulas for making 15K a month" (after they only just did it once for the first time, like ever.)..are often now struggling to repeat it and are contemplating jobs again this month. What you read on FAKEbook is only half the story. Anyone who's worth their Mentoring weight in gold will tell you the truth, so that you can plan, manage your reactions and expectations, but then they'll hold you to being your best and getting your best work done and out there in the world.
If you've had a go or to at an online program and it hasn't landed yet in the way you hoped and you'd like a bit of help in working out which foundational steps you've missed and what you still need to do next to take both your local practice and online program building to the next level, don't forget our fortnightly Women in Wellness Leadership Group Mastermind starts next week and it's a golden opportunity to start planning and executing NOW on making 2019 your best year in business YET.
You can connect with me below if you'd like to know more.
Until next time.....
Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.