Ever feel like things started out so very well, but now there feels like a gulf of distance between you and you're wondering what went wrong? Here's 3 healthy habits to KEEP doing from day 1 that set the right conditions for you to keep growing, expanding, shining and loving life...together
Each relationship we ever start is like a garden...here's what sometimes happens when we start gardening. Plus the 3 tips to help grow thriving relationship "gardens" of all kinds...
1- Keep making time to show up for the relationship, like you did when it was brand spanking shiny and new
2- If you want to create safety, trust and deepen the connection over time, then try a strength based, positively focused approach to giving feedback to your co-"gardener"
3- Make room for the other person to grow and expand...less controlling and orders, more questions and time allowed for them to feel, speak, act for themselves
Like to share your experience? Or need some support to get the harmony back in your relating world?
Maybe its the fact that we're travelling through inner child Cancerian territory lately and on the verge of a new moon in Leo (and Leo is all about owning and shining in our authentic full expression as our King/Queen self) and apparently Mercury is in there stirring up the shadow of the Drama Queen/King , but there's a lot of posts and talks getting around right now to the effect of "cut the shit with the drama.' From my own experience and many years experience working with business owners, it is totally true that, one of the reasons so many business owners and leaders never reach their full potential, or just start to get momentum and then get pulled or pull themselves back out of it, is because they get caught up in the merry-go-round of past trauma and present drama (theirs and others) that ends of taking up a lot of their time, focus and energy instead. I talk a little more about this in day 5 of my 7 Days to the Life I Love Challenge.
However, it's a little hard to stop creating drama until you understand what you or others are actually creating crisis for and getting out of it in the first place.....after having a big reminisce with a friend today, about my Queen, my inner Soulful Diva Gypsie Fashionista and all the times at which i just started to get more momentum and some family or partner crisis happened THEN of all moments (or an immediately family member literally picked that of all moments to throw a tantrum about what an asshole I am) the light side and shadow side of life criris/life drama equation, I thought that's what i'd write about this week.
For most people going through times of challenge, there's actually something in it that they deeply crave, that they haven't yet come to terms with that they need and have not been getting. And that is the gold they need to sift out of the crisis, that will help them reclaim their power and get what they REALLY most deeply crave out of life. What is it that they REALLY want?
The Diva/Divo energy, In the positive, is a lot about our quest for feeling more alive in life, it's the deep desire to want to experience more passion, to feel and express the intensity of life and the rawness of human experience that comes when you live your life purpose and in your interactions, from the heart and soul. Also within it, when shared with others, is the passionate, deep, heart and soulful, fully present level of connection that, on some level, ALL people deeply crave (but are usually, freaking terrified of.) There are, yes, all kinds of trauma being brought to our attention to heal through said "dramatic" life events. But one of the most overlooked reasons to understand for people who are constantly copping shit about how much drama is in their lives, is that, very often, the deep, heart on your sleeve, passionate, lively expression and the thrill of the adventure is what they REALLY want, over it's stressful, adrenalin provoking counterpart, which makes us feel alive in a different way. (Don't get me wrong, i'm not saying grief or pain or any such similar experience is bad, these are a part of us that we must accept to be whole. But I'm simply alluding to where one becomes the substitute for when one is not actively pursuing or experiencing the other polarity, in balance.)
More than that, some people, in the positive are also here to BE performers, they're here to influence, entertain or educate large amounts of people, and their charismatic, soulful, strutting their stuff and loving the spotlight side is something they we're gifted with for a reason. This has been one of my life lessons as someone with a performing arts background for sure...part of this person's success in their life purpose is dependent upon them OWNING and fully embracing that part of themselves....as well as taking full responsibility for and learning to love and accept the shadow of it and capture the gift within 'said drama' of what it's showing you that you REALLY NEED in life when you're not getting it from your life purpose or your connections. This will trigger the crap out of some of you, but the biggest healing for the Performer is to admit that they freaking LOVE drama because they love the intensity of a felt life lived from the heart. No-one loves hurting people but they DO, DO want to love and connect all-out with others with depth and passion. So one of the most liberating lessons for them is to OWN that and then channel their passion and life force into the highest, most soulful expression for themselves going forward.
The gift of such 'dramatic' life events for us and others overall, is that they slingshot us BACK into ownership of our passion, purpose and power. And in love, they remind us when we've not yet given ourselves permission to express it and connect with others, particularly a lover, with a depth of heartfelt love and passion that both terrifies as well as satisfies us for all it reveals to us about ourselves and others, and allows us to feel, in the presence of a higher, sacred, soulful love.
What the reason for creating or attracting said life challenges is, is something to look at in itself for each person in themselves. But in terms of what we're personally really craving, the questions in addition to 'why does this keep happening to me or them" to ask instead are:
What is a healthy way to be getting the level of deep, heart-centred, intense, connection and passion I REALLY CRAVE in a relationship?. (From the person who is truly aligned with me to give it)
(Rather than having one's sense of self worth be dependent upon the feedback, praise, feedback, validation of others) What is a healthy, mutually honouring, productive way to give myself first the love and acknowledgement part of me is seeking in connection with others? (so that i can then see it mirrored back to me?)
How can I/they come back to connecting more deeply with my/their life purpose and my/their mission? And (after i've sent my wounded bits some love) Where can i re-focus my energy on the task at hand of getting that mission in concrete motion?
What is my outlet for all that passion and for my creativity (maybe even sensuality) to be expressed? What things do i do for fun that make me feel more alive and connected?
These are the questions that help us get the gold of what the inner Diva/Divo is really trying to tell us. Bless them. What is yours trying to tell you????
"'Zoolander 2' borrows some of the fashion world's tricks to build buzz"
Feminine Financial Freedom- getting out of the pipe dream and actually living our potential & prosperity
Maybe it's the awesome company I'm keeping lately, maybe it's part work with clients and maybe it was spending a couple of hours with the DC Inspired portrayal of Wonder Woman, but they all got me deeply appreciating again this week what it really means and takes to live our full feminine potential (human potential to be fair, but for the sake of this blog, feminine potential) and what support we need to do that. What kind of things was i appreciating and what is so inspiring about that movie?
Being so squarely centred in ones heart and operating in the world from one's innate wisdom. Having built the strength, the confidence, the resilience, the trust in oneself to be able to go out into the world and face any challenge, with a heart full of love, not just of light, but of all things that are what humans are. Having the courage to BE with the polarity, to accept the polarity without having to change it and still see the inherent good and light still present in all.
It becomes less about rescuing and healing what’s broken, within and without and more about helping us remember who we’re truly here to be and have the freedom to BE IT.
That inspired the hell out of me about that movie.
A woman for example in that place is so incredibly powerful. When someone around her has lost their clarity and connection to who they really are, she need only look them in the eyes for a few moments, to embrace them and in a matter of seconds, they come home to themselves.
How does one learn all of that? Not in total isolation from the opposite sex. To be fair, those amazing Amazonian women did come into their power or develop all that women in the absence of the masculine, but through thousands of years of growth and partnership with it, before this race of superwomen ends up being created on an island...who gives a flying f@#$ who created who.....chicken, egg, gender, deity, whatever. The point is, those women have kick ass traits we all could use AND feminine leaders definitely could use.
Some of those abilities we innately have come forward in us in connection with other Women who’ve walked the path we want to walk. Some come forward in with Men who have the qualities or who have achieved the kind of things we want to cultivate in ourselves, our lives, our businesses. Things (like Steve taught Diana) warrior-like resilience, belief, conviction and focus, the ability to be present with the amount of shit that goes on in the world, without totally losing themselves in their reaction to it all and losing site of and focus upon their own goal. When women are losing ourselves in the depths of our emotion, there too is nothing like a heart centred, present man taking your hands and reminding you that he sees that too and it sucks, but don’t lose track of your end game right now either, get up honey, keep moving.
(Don’t you think it’s awesome how, when we lose ourselves, women in the depths of oversensitivity, men in over-action in the quest for achievement, we EACH have a beautiful heart centred way of bringing each other back to ourselves and who we’re really here to be? I fucking love it.)
Yes there is a lot to do in our work to BE LOVE and BE all we’re here to be. And we’re in SO MUCH more of a powerful position and a position of freedom to do that when we master the prosperity game.
How much more could you do in the world, create, how many more people could you help if you didn't have to spend so much time worrying about HOW to build business and financial systems, about rent, about bills, school fees, HECS debts, about the general condition or what one does or doesn't have (or the world doesn’t have)? But instead had practical, real, grounded support and systems in place that ensured you could let go of ALL of that and confidently receive all of the resources you need to be able to freely give all that you need to, when you need to?
What are 3 ways in the short term, medium term and long term you can make prosperity more of a priority in your world this week?
What offerings can you put out immediately this week?
Where can you tighten up your knowledge of what is coming in and out and get some help with completing and clearing the baggage of the previous financial year?
Now that we’re half way through the year, what are you going to launch over the rest of it and what is your plan around that?
If there were absolutely no limits, what are your long term financial goals? What do you need to help the several hundred thousand plus or minus people who REALLY want to help?
How can you incorporate investment (and re-investment on what you make) strategy into your financial picture?
Who around you can help you learn the heart-centred integral business and marketing practices you need AND help you master things like currency trading and investment so that you have a concrete means, not just a floating, fluctuating dream, of creating and maintaining financial independence and freedom, so that you can do and BE all that you're here to be in the world?
I know some amazing people who can help with this. If you would like to talk more about how we can help you, let me know.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
Sometimes in life, you might yes be showing yourself a re-direct. Sometimes a 5 min delay. Sometimes there might be a spot of self-sabotage going on. Then sometimes, you've just got to claim your space, stand your ground, and despite whatever is going on in life, shine on on my friends, shine on! On the weekend, I found myself contemplating the difference and remembering one of my greatest on-stage shine moments...
Ready to claim space to do more of what you love?
Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.