Eventually, if we try to freeze frame relationships forever as they were in one perfect (or shitty) moment and don't trust that we can change and evolve together as we now are, or if we hang on too tight fearing other people's growth, relationships get stuck. Which feels a whole lot like death. Because it is. That's what is required. That is what one must surrender to in order to grow.
Like the fruit tree, once the leaves and pettles are ready to fall off, you can't stop the growth process or bring those old bits back. You're not meant to. But if you surrender to the process, you can perhaps realign alongside each other on the other side, budding with new little fruits of who you're meant to be now. Sometimes, okay, it might be time for one of those trees to die and a new one to come up in its place. But more often than not, we have many years of growth to continue along side each other if we so choose....in a slightly more ambulant, nomadic, human way.
But my point is, this New Years, this new moon that sets the tone for the first month of the new year, hold your vision and all those you love in your heart. But don't be afraid to feel the feels and let their hand go for a moment, while you shed a few old pettles of old beliefs and the shrivelling, browning leaves and emotions of who you thought you were and how you thought things (and maybe others) were meant to be, or what roles you thought they were meant to play, to make way for the new and who you're really here to be and what you're here to create and co-create now. It might feel ackward right now. But you might be pleasantly surprised in many ways by what and who is waiting for you on the other side. I've said it a thousand times, let go and let soul. It knows so much more than your ego when it comes to matters of the heart. More than that, the divine feminine presence we all have within knows better than anything how to navigate this space with trust, love, humility and compassion (and that part is never surprised...because she already knew it was coming,) while some part of the ego would have you write the process of as nuts. It's not though.
Happy New Year to you. May your journey into 2017 be gentle. Looking forward to seeing you on the other side.
Until next year, have fun, take care.
So I planned for a big week this week, with two events, plans for lots of chats, lots of of Facebook ads and a massive full moon intention about clearing one of my longest running relationship stories. And, man did I get a big week. Just not quite in the way I first expected. What I got was another gut thing second only to the epic public purge of April earlier this year. Stick with me now, there's love and happy endings in this.
In my years of studying energetic medicine, the psycho-somatic connection and emotional metabolism, in hindsight it makes total sense that, if I'm going to intend to re-set a core relating pattern i'd carried my whole life and been metabolising my whole life, of course I was going to "get some gut thing". But me being me and seeing the physical opportunity to have my consciousness squarely focused on that area, I go "screw it", and like a seasoned marine, I go at it hardcore and proclaim if we're going to do this, let's do it properly until those deepest darkest hidey spots are bright, shiny and beaming love and i've re-written my gut brain with new intentions.
So that's what I did and how I finished my week. And all for love if I really think about it. Because earlier in the week, I saw, (with horror i might add) with complete 20 20 how much of that b.s. "I'm unwanted" story I'd bought in place of the truth. And this year had been yes a bit of pushing the wrong people away for the right reasons. But then also I realised just how much in recent years I'd pushed the right people away for the wrong reasons. And that was unbelievably hard to look at. Because any one who knows me knows just how thoroughly huge my heart is and ok yes I may be fiercely independent, terribly multi-talented and not "need" anybody, but it's also true that I would move mountains for the people I love who i very much want to be walking alongside because i love them so damn much. Or in this case, move almost everything but my soul from my G.I.T. until I was completely wrung out of the old and ready to be filled with that intention I just set, so that i could love the people i love a whole lot better than i have been able to until now.
And literally that love was so strong, late yesterday arvo, I was lying on the couch, so ready to be that love, then too thinking about all this new love I want to bring to the world through my work and how I want to help more people live love, while listening to some of my favourite dance tunes and that energy had me up and wanting to do and dance my head off. Only I had to remind myself I hadn't eaten in a few days and was still severely dehydrated, so maybe slow it down just a fraction love! But that overwhelming passion, that overwhelming motivation of complete loving intention is why I've bothered to write you any of this.
Because that very type of love, when it moves us, is the force that motivates us to get up and do great things. It's absolutely essential to find whatever that is within each of us to help endlessly power the pilot flame of our soul purpose and the visions we're here to create. And it's the same inner force that guides us to get up for the lifestyle we love, plus to love and be with those we love.
If you want to get out of the endless stress of a life you've grown to detest, or hit the snooze button on every morning because you don't want to face it yet. If you want to succeed in shaking off the chains of a job you hate into the freedom of a self-made lifestyle business you love where you get to do good in the world, you've got to find what that source of love and passion looks like for you. And be willing to love and forgive the crap out of (no pun intended) everything within you that comes up as a barrier to that love.
Contrary to a lot of spiritual rhetoric that says that choosing love is "spiritual bypass", I believe, as someone i will always dearly love once said to me, it takes a hell of a lot of courage to go deeper into love and confront all that we have to bring love to on the way. But it's so worth it. To be deeply and stay deeply connected to the passion of your life purpose, to have a reason/reasons that you come flying out of bed in the morning excited to seize the day and opportunities ahead and excited, to have the motivation to carry you through all the tough as hell hard work moments of start up and high end successful business, to motivate you to stay in through the hard bits of relationships themselves, not to mention loving and loving life with the people in your world you love, it is so bleeping worth it.
How does love want to move through and motivate you this week, as we come to the end of one year and start to consider the one to come?
Until next time, have fun, take care
The wonderful thing about having a birthday in early December is that i naturally start to review my year and start thinking about the one to come from some time in November. From then onwards, it's like a process of making sure I accurately take stock, from a higher vantage point than simply being in my business and in my life, of everything that I really achieved over the course of the year.
Over the years, i've come to define that by a wider set of parametres than those specified on the average balance sheet or profit and loss, or the outcome section of whatever business or personal goal measuring tool I'd been using that year. Because we beautiful, unique humans are more than the sum of those numbers of percentages and goals reached. Just as we are more than the sum of the goals of the life stages a bunch of developmental psychology models spelled out as the norm of human development in the centuries past. Doing the yearly review I believe is a process of coming to truly see oneself for just how gloriously multi-faceted we really are.
So it inevitably too has to involve, to see that, stripping off the outer layers of any erroneous assumptions or assements we made of ourselves. Or judgements others made of us, while we were doing our thing this year, head down, immersed moment to moment, in the doing and being of our busy modern lifestyles and relationships. Particularly bags of past pains and truths that ceased to be true the moment we had an insight that redefined them; those are the kind of ones that it would weigh us down like carrying an extra heavy bag full of stuff we no longer need to carry it into the year ahead.
The benefits of the process of self review are multiple. Not only do we come to be grateful for the full gamet of experiences we've had, but fully understanding just how much wisdom and magic and mystery we really hold, we are in a far better position to teach and share all that we have learned in beneficial forms in the coming year. But even better, as Business people, who are inevitably constantly in the process of sharing with others what we do and why they would benefit from working with us, the more one understands just how multifaceted, knowledgeable and experienced one really is, the more confident and credible one feels. And as one of Australia's no 1 experts on self-belief, conviction and committment in the areas of sales, leadership, productivity, achievement and fulfillment Christina Guidotti would say, the first sale, and arguably the most important sale, is always first to oneself. This is why i want you to have an end of year review process that really helps you see just how epicly awesome you truly, really are.
If you're already aware that you blitzed it this year, whoo hoo! Good for you! Reading the rest of this article, you can only go even further up from here. If part of you fears to look because you worry that you didn't though, it can be a scary process i know, if part of the year wasn't all you'd hoped it might be. So this week, having just done my own yearly review, i thought i'd put together an approximate list of questions I considered, which has really helped me to end my year feeling as full as possible of the knowledge of how truly freaking awesome I am.
First of all, don't forget the business bread and butter ones those H & R Block accountants love talk about at parties. What are the facts and figures of client numbers, income earned, profit and loss for this last financial year? And where are you at right now, almost 6 months on, relative to where you would like to be next year? It's still really important to know that. Just as it is important to go back to those goal lists and fill in the outcome sections and percentages completed on those goals.
Once you've done that, here are the other questions to be asked:
What work have you successfully done on yourself this year?
What have you successfully healed?
How do you feel different now to how you felt a year ago?
What did you do this year that you have never done before?
What did you successfully say no to and yes to, to be in line with your own truth and integrity?
What did life make it so abundantly obvious to you could no longer co-exist with you in your world going forward?
What did it take away that actually you no longer needed, so that you can be who you're meant to be now?
What gifts and opportunities emerged from what initially felt like losses?
What support was there when you thought there would be none?
What hidden abilities did you uncover?
How many times did you surprise yourself with what you did?
What came to you when you trusted and stepped up?
What new connections came to you?
Who came back to you for all your growth and learning?
What do you know now that you didn't know a year ago?
What did you successfully create? Innovate? Let go of?
How many times did you find yourself perfectly where you needed to be in the right moment?
How are you richer now, than you were a year ago? (remember abundance comes in many more forms of plentiful supply than money alone. Love and respect to money as i say that.)
How many people do you have who you would like to write thank you letters to as the year comes to a close?
What connections are you excited to keep nurturing in the year to come?
Which creations are you excited to keep bringing forward?
Which clients are you excited to keep working with?
What causes and visions are you excited and eager to commit to and double your efforts into in the year to come?
Who is inspiring you as you step into the year ahead?
What are your goals and intentions now for the year to come?
What additional support might you need to achieve them?
What abilities does the version of you who has successfully achieved them possess?
Hence, what characteristics will you be required to develop and unleash within yourself in the year to come?
These are the kind of questions to ask yourself to take a wider view of the year that was so that you can end this year and begin the next on a high. Now, having asked them, if you'd like some inspired company to share your answers with and happen to be a woman running a Wellness Business or Social Enteprise, I'd love for you to join us in the Women in Leadership Community this week, for the final two events for the year. Let's end the year on a high together.
Until next time, have fun, take care
Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.