Kind authenticity leads to better decisions and better outcomes

Kind authenticity leads to better decisions and better outcomes. Have you ever noticed how much better the decisions we make in life are, when we’ve committed to showing up authentically and from the heart? Or rather, how much better, more sustainable and long lasting the things tend to be, that we build upon the foundations of showing up with greater honesty? With greater awareness of things like who we really are, what we love and are passionate about, what we need, what our values are, what our boundaries and limits, or how we really feel in response to any given circumstance, or opportunity?


Let me give you an example. Say a contract that we had been working on recently finished up. (Doesn’t matter so much why; maybe it was fixed term, maybe it was an organisational restructuring thing, maybe it was a “not the right fit” thing.)  But now we have a gap in income, and only so much money in our savings. Time goes on, and  we apply for my jobs and opportunities, hoping to manifest something that feels truly aligned, professionally, culturally, relationally, values wise. But we miss a few, get rejected from a few, nothing happens for a bit, and then our savings get to a point where we start going into fight flight mode a little bit, worrying about what we're not going to be able to pay and who, and what we might lose, if we don’t get something else soon. All of a sudden, not only does the quality of the decision making change, because we’re no longer making decisions from a relaxed, aligned, heart and soul centric, “high vibe” state. But our priority might start to shift, off creating the long term dream thing, back to freaking out about surviving in the short term, and eliminating the survival stress. All of a sudden, the strict criteria on what we would apply for go out the window, along with our screening for things like true compatibility and values alignment, and we start accepting anything and everything, just to get any chance to get the money on and flowing again. To kill those feelings of anxiety and get out of “survive” as fast as we can. So we get offered a thing that’s not perfect, but we find a way to adapt our thinking about it, to make it fit and serve our present needs. But let’s be clear. The trouble is, that we just potentially compromised on some important things, and compromised ourselves to create and accept it.


Now fast forward to 3-6 months later with hypothetical “us”. And the cracks are starting to show. Tensions are starting to develop about how we and others do things. Friendships and alliances have formed, and conflicts start developing with others. "You" start clashing against aspects of the culture that you don’t agree with. And people are starting to clash with YOU as they slowly get glimpses of who you really are and how you really do things. You’re starting to long for an opportunity to be doing more of the things you really love, more freedom to be who you are, and connection with people more like you…. and suddenly find yourself annoyed by numerous work responsibilities or tasks. And wanting something more aligned. You maybe put up with this for a while longer, while you’re still looking for something else. You take your time for a bit, because at least it’s paying the bills and you’re now comfortable enough.


But one way or another, at a certain point in future soon, either something that happens with someone, is going to be the straw that breaks the camels back that makes you want to leave. People start raising more issues with you. Or, the management culture turns on you, because they’ve worked out that you don’t fit…and they start finding “reasons” to squeeze you out. (With good reason, the screening process possibly failed, if it meant too that someone who was the wrong fit, got in? Or maybe they were also so desperate in that moment, that they too were willing to settle for something less than their ideal? And you were each a perfect mirror of each others compromise for that time? ) Eventually, one way or another, “life” keeps applying pressure, until we all eventually can’t ignore it and get squeezed back out of where we’re not meant to be or stay. And our higher self so to speak, beckons us, urges us to play a bigger game, in subtle little ways. Subtle thoughts of things we’d love, day dreams, fantasies about the things we’d like to be doing and who we’d like to be doing them with; these aren’t just coincidental thoughts; there are often vital clues and hints in these about our destiny, if we can listen and trust them.


But we’ve come full circle in realising that, back to the place we started in, where we’re slightly under resourced financially, we’ve got a bit of savings built up to rely upon, while again we’re looking for a more aligned thing. Some of the people from work stay in touch, but eventually too, many drop off. If there were a progression of cards in the traditional Rider Waite Tarot deck for this cycle (and there are): We started with the Devil card (fear and other negative emotions, unconscious patterns and behaviours, addictions etc), and the World card (this is literal; a world of possibility), as well as the aces of wands and pentacles (new energy and a new opportunity) and the 7 of swords. A world of possibilities and an opportunity at our feet, after we’ve been mentally doing our head in with fearful thoughts and lack mentality and limiting beliefs. (Eg. “Work is meant to be struggle and involve suffering through hard work”. “I can’t be my true self because no one will accept or being able to handle it and I won’t fit in anymore.” “People won’t be supportive of my dreams if I’m honest.” “Doing what you really love is selfish.” “I’m not sure that I’m good enough to reach my dreams,” “I’m not sure that I can trusted others to show up for me when really need” Etc etc.  While we were in it, we would’ve pulled both the 5 of wands (conflict and competition) and (perhaps to our surprise) the 7 of swords too. The 7 of swords is about someone who’s done something sneaky, and while they’re running away from the village with a pile of swords, they think they got away with it, without consequence. Only they didn’t, because now the truth has revealed itself. The consequence is the Death and the Tower cards come next. The opportunity is dying and “life” is breaking down what’s not aligned. And then we’re back where we started, with the the 5 of pentacles. Feeling like we’re dressed in rags, on crutches, back outside the building that looks terribly abundant and like the dream within. Only we’re on the outside, facing the poverty card again. Financially and relationally, feeling left out in the cold.  How did we get here? And how do we NOT get here again? Especially if all this has happened before, and now it’s happening again?


That’s where the presence of the 7 of swords might be the surprise and the secret lesson we didn’t expect. Because maybe it’s us that wasn’t honest and manipulated circumstance to get through the door?…and for a while at least, thought we got away with it. Maybe we checked a part of our authentic self at the door when we said yes to this opportunity. We made a conscious choice to withhold relevant information in regards to how we weren’t a fit, and chose to ignore the mutual incompatibilities, to make ourselves fit with this thing. Possibly, also half the relationships that we built within this foundation of inauthenticity, go the way of the tower card now too, because they too, weren’t built on true alignment and honesty? Some might have been, but many may have been aligned with a culture or a value system that was fine for them, but that isn’t for us? And now the illusion of it all, has been revealed.


I personally believe, that when we surrender to operating from that place of fear and lack and control, we’re also not trusting in “life,” and our extremely talented multidimensional selves, conspiring with a whole bunch of others at a higher level than our 3rd dimensional brains can often comprehend, to align something for us all that is perfectly aligned with the inner urges of our soul to realise our dreams and or live into our true potential and our growth trajectory? Maybe we didn’t trust in the aligned thing, or the timing of it’s arrival, or the inner guidance that was trying to link us to it? Maybe it wasn’t happening fast enough and we couldn’t see the evidence above ground, so we maybe stepped in to try and control and force it? And surrendered to accepting anything and everything that was most easily reachable, the fastest? And missed the calls of the next step from intuition, while our mind was taking control of our safety. In the moment of poverty, that suffering of it still seemed better compared to the possibility of having no money left and ending up homeless. So we checked our authentic self at the door, and we took it. It’s run it’s course. And now here we are. And or possibly are again. And If we’re to ever break this cycle of endings and returning to poverty, and succeed in creating an abundant career, doing things we love, with a whole bunch of soul family type people we love and who truly love and are aligned with us, then it’s not just about getting better at managing and manifesting money, at looking and being in the right places, to connect with the opportunities. And being better at communication and relationships. It’s about being more honest, in how we show up in life and with others, from minute 1. It’s about getting comfortable with practicing, from minute one, putting our authentic selves on the table, highest potential, dreams, hopes, ‘faults’ still being managed in the present and all.  And creating opportunities from that place. 


The risk of that kind of vulnerability, is of course, rejection. And that doesn’t feel great. But the reward is also finding the right and mutually beneficial setting and the right relationships for us, so much faster.


Our ability to be authentic is not only the very thing that aligns us with the right opportunities, the most sustainable ones. Having authentic communication skill mastery can help us find the common ground, connect with and build rapport with almost anyone. But authenticity in communication with kindness, is also the key to finding the genuine compatibility and connectivity within any given relationship, personal and professional, that both forms the basis of and fuels the foundation building and the deepening of that connection over time. Kind authenticity, is the very thing that makes the right relationships and opportunities, sustainable and creates longevity within such opportunities.


Whoever I’m sharing this for, whoever who felt pulled to read it, let this be a reminder that you rock, you’re enough and you’re worthy of your dreams. And they’ve been given to you for a reason. Anywhere where we see a gap between where we are and where we want to be, that is entirely ‘figure-out-able’. And we will be supported and provided with the stepping stones to get there, and by authentically aligned means at that. If we can just trust in that we will and let go of ideas about how we expect it will happen, to embrace the better ways in which the higher, smarter wiser parts of us have arranged for it to happen. You can do it. You got this. I believe in you. (And me too at that.)


Until next time.

Nat Ferrier xx