Hey there and welcome back :-D If you saw my Facebook page this week, you'll see it's Power Week! And we're looking at ways we can keep the vehicle a movin' in your desired direction after last week's discussion on navigating the gully of change. This week we have a look at personal power and where our energy and effort is going, relative to your business and personal aspirations.  Where you are spending your energy and what are you spending it on? Or giving it to? Is it helping you manifest your highest calling in terms of your business, leadership and having available resources to support your clients? Is it helping you in terms of improving your quality of life? Or might you be loosing any of it anywhere, or perhaps giving any of it away anywhere? How do you increase your awareness of where it's all going, get it back and utilise your energy more wisely in future, so that you maintain your vitality and momentum on the journey of life and work? That is what this week's video is about.

Hope you have a wonderful week and, until next time, as always, have fun, take care.

P.S. Interested in learning more about where your energy is going get some vitality boosting strategies to help you keep making a difference and live more of the life you love?

Picture you’re driving along and you come to a hill. And as you look over the edge, you see the road leads down into a gully. There’s a bridge, before the road then leads up and out the other side. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a car or on a bike or skateboard. As you drive into the dip, you pick up speed and the speed takes you a long way up and out the other side. At the very top of the other side, you might need to accelerate, or peddle or push a little to keep moving along the road on the other side. The process of grieving a loss associated with any form of life transition is no different. When you go with the flow of the process, the momentum naturally takes you all the way through it and up and out the other side, aligned and ready for something new. It’s only when we don’t trust the process, when the fear of what’s on the other side starts to kick in that we try and stop at the top before the descent into the gully or throw the breaks on at the bottom that we lose momentum or get stuck in the sometimes foggy depths, in the bridge between the old and the new, wondering which way is up and out.
 
That last little bit of acceleration out is our motivation. It’s connecting with our deepest calling, with our desire for new experience on the other side. Sometimes, for all the fog at the bottom, we need a bit of help reconnecting with what that looks like and then tapping our innate drive and belief to go after it. These tips below are here to help with exactly that.

​When we separate from people or things, projects we dearly love that were right for a time, but aren’t now because one or both of you have moved in different directions, it’s normal and natural to go through a whole gamete of emotions. As much as we might wish to, we can’t clear them all with any modality without having to be human for a moment at some point and connect with them and feel them, so that they can flow.

So if your creative flow, your clarity of direction or your motivation is feeling stuck and your surrounded by the fog. It is worth asking, is there anything I'm holding back from expressing? Ask your consciousness and then feel for what within you've numbed yourself to. Go towards that pain, that numbness, that lack of appetite and ask it what it wants. Acknowledging it and being willing to let it express is like taking the breaks off.  Then we need to nurture and love ourselves through whatever moves (and maybe if it feels right, let others support us through it too) so that we can start healing and create a mindset and a story around the experience that helps us move forward with lessons accepted and appreciated, forgiveness of self and others achieved, personal power recalled and whole.
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While staying with our attention fixed on the road behind and the past for too long, continuing to agonise over what went wrong can be counterproductive to us moving on, there are also some times when taking a visit back to a certain town on the road of life where things were going really well for you prior to this point in time can be really helpful in helping you remember yourself, remember what you need, remember what you love.

Think Kevin Spacey in American Beauty. Not so much the bit where he blackmails Brad "the Efficiency Guy" for $50,000 for a fake BJ that never happened. But the bit where he went back to re-do some of the things he did in life when he was having the best times of his life and feeling alive. Like getting a job at Mr Smileys, to reconnect with the feeling of that summer where he flipped burgers and did nothing but party and get laid. Like starting a work out routine to the music he used to love to get his physicality and for him, his balls back. Like getting that Firebird he’d always wanted that his cousin Tony had.

For me recently, after my former business partner and I went our separate ways, in considering what what my deepest solo calling was now, it involved taking a trip back to a place I lived a few years when my own solo Practice got momentum for the first time. Reconnecting with what creative juices and what support was running through my veins then. As a part of that, remembering what truly sets my soul on fire and what I love most that other people also get the most benefit out of my calling shared too. For me, that's reconnecting with those previous times I’ve run immersion events, helped run dance events, or transpersonal or drama therapy processes in workshops, sang or performed in public, been a part of sound healing and energetic wellness trainings, as well as been involved in collaborative Wellness, Leadership and Business Training Events.

In both cases, reconnecting with this energy can be part of the last kick of momentum you need out the other side of the gully of transformation and then becomes part of the drive for the next set of collaborations, workshops and events to plan and run.

Connecting with this one is the piece of motivation puzzle that gives you not just more momentum out of the gully but to keep accelerating along the next stretch of road of your deepest calling. This can be the one where women can learn a little bit from the men we’ve had in our lives about being the hunter gatherer who goes out to meet and seize incoming opportunity with open arms. In evolutionary ecology terms, humans are a predatory species in the grand hierarchy of things. The desire, the willpower to go after what we want is an in-built part of our human nature that, unless you’re in a position where you have a team of people going out and hunting down your clients, work and business for you, as business owners and emerging leaders of the future, to ensure our success, it is essential that we tap and harness this part of ourselves to our advantage.

Sometimes when we’re creating something new, we’ve got to go out and get the resources to make it happen, to help put it together, when we need help to put it together. Depending what point where starting from, sometimes it might flow easily and then at other times it feels like a long stretch of road ahead without a pitt stop and pushing a truck rather than a car, bike or skateboard up that hill.

Connecting (or re-connecting) with our inner huntress/hunter and hence our hunger and desire for what we seek, helps keep going. 

How does one connect with one’s inner huntress or hunter or warrior in a modern scenario? Part of the collective hunger for shows like True Blood and Game of Thrones is the desire to reconnect with our inner hunter and warrior energy expressing itself in modern terms, at a time at which sedentary lifestyle and indoor technological activity, plus life’s imposed demands have disconnected many from it.

So have a think about what movies, books, music, tv shoes, and huntress/hunter/warrior/ess type characters you’ve seen over the years that you really connected with. What qualities about them do you resonate with? There’s a good chance that you have/are what you love about them. So claim it. Claim that you are that. As there is a healthy, modern day way to express this energy in a modern day context.

And then, whether at work or play, take the action a step further than a walk down aisle 3 at the supermarket to get back into (or practice getting into) going after what you want. In your personal life, if you’re partnered or married, there's an obvious opportunity to connect with your expression of desire and explore your will power, right? You might wish to go home and stalk your partner with that note of hunger for them in your eyes. If you’re single, you might wish to go dream up a fantasy which expresses your desire in a healthy way (and do something about it)…which might be self-love to reclaim your desire, or it might literally being going out hunting/dating, going after what you want. Why would i even mention that? Desire and will go hand in hand? Get your physical desire flowing, ALL desire and willpower will resume flowing. Then it's up to you what you decide to do with all that energy. In this case we're talking about healthy ways to add fuel to your work, business, leadership motivational and manifestation fire.

So, in your work or business, what is it that your hungry for next? Really hungry to experience? What practical action can you do to go after it? Go do that tiger. And don’t let rejection get in the way. The tiger doesn’t give up when the gazelle looks a little too far ahead. It goes faster, harder, it tries again, it enlists support. So too must we. And then enjoy every minute of the chase of the drive, along the way.

It's all still there on the other side of the gully, when we trust and go with the flow. Happy Hunting what you love ladies and gents :-)

​This week, I asked a question of my Facebook followers, funnily enough, while taking a trip i wasn't yet expecting to take up one of my own personal Mt Everests, while planning for the next one i totally was and that question was: What is one thing you can do that will help you get out of your comfort zone and take one action step towards the realisation of your life and business dreams this week? If you missed it, there was a little video that went with it that you can find on my She Lives a Life She Loves Facebook page here:


​What we do instead of pushing our comfort zone
In there i talked a little about what we do instead to compensate for that awesome alive feeling we live for, but that we sadly miss out on, if we stay permanently IN our little safety known zone and resist going after the experiences in life and work our soul so craves. Now, just to further clarify what i said there, I'm not saying all of the things like sugar, stress, sex and drama are "bad". But for the ones we love, like all pleasurable things, in excess they can have an addictive quality. And in the west, many are certainly compensating dealing with a working life they DON'T love, that doesn't fill them with energy and inspiration, with sugar or other eating addictions, sexual addiction/porn addiction, stress addiction, drama addiction (eg losing whole weeks in TV shows, computer games, movies, or dare i say it, even the dramas and gossip of everyday life.) In small doses (perhaps except the live gossip), these things can be stimulating or experiences that help us learn and grow, right? But if we allow them to become an escape zone from life and the butterflies that come with the new and embracing change, and do them to excess, they can eventually have negative impacts on our health. I'm sure you've heard that for sugar, i'm sure you've heard that for stress....possibly not though that, depending on HOW you're having sex...and what neurotransmitters you're releasing and what you're doing with all that energy you're generating during those 5 straight orgasms, you can either energise yourself, or completely deplete yourself of life force. The men reading this know what i'm talking about right? The point is though, when we aren't pushing our comfort zone in life, our desire to do so and have the rush that comes with it, can come out in other, perhaps not so wellbeing supportive ways. So how do you get yourself ready to ride the waves of the new?

Put yourself in top physical condition first.
Have you checked out my 9 self care tips for taking the stress out of business and leadership check list? The things I talk about in this are activities you can do to put yourself in peak physical condition for a fulfilling work and personal life and the busy life of sustaining a business. Consequently, they literally also take your body out of the unnecessary fight/flight mode that results when we neglect our basic needs when we’re incredibly busy. So if you want to cope better with change and getting out of your comfort zone, make sure you keep doing at minimum these 9 things. 

​Are you telling yourself "what if it doesn’t work out?" Start telling yourself "what if it does".
What if you could magically look into the future and see that it worked out perfectly and you missed the opportunity because you freaked out and decided not to do it because of {insert erroneous belief or emotion here]. Reign in the stampeding hoard of wild brumbies that is your chain of thoughts (and the resulting dust cloud of emotions) that is created when they're left to their own devices... and start training them. What if it does work? What if you are enough? What if you win? What if they say yes? But here’s the thing. To maximise the benefits of your bonding efforts, you have to dedicate time to building your relationship, your partnership with those horses you want to ride every single day, until you can lead them in the direction you want. That means consciously watching and intervening in your chain of thoughts before the thoughts lead you to having that wild-eyed, whites-showing look in your eyes. What you might want to see instead is the one with an alert expression, raised head, ears pricked in your direction, of curiosity, with a nickering welcome sound or snort of excitement that you're coming. In other words, picking thoughts that lead you to feeling curious and excited about new possibilities instead.

Put your mind at ease. Do research on the little things ahead of time
It can help the wild horse mind to feel a little more at peace and in control in the meantime though, to do a little preparation before you leap. For example, maybe its checking the travel route ahead of time, or your schedule to ensure you have extra time to be ready for that phone call or appointment. Maybe it's making time to do your homework first. Or, if you’re going to a city you’ve never been to,  google your transport options, various accommodation options, build a social media network of connections in advance, financial options. Whatever gives you peace of mind that you've got the basic survival side of things and a few preparation tick boxes covered, which then leaves you with energy and bandwidth in your consciousness to embrace with open arms the opportunity/ies you're attempting to actualise. And to get really curious in a delightful, child-like, imaginative way about what wonderful possibilities lay ahead.

Push your comfort zone in little ways first
Think of this like training at the gym to get fit. Fitness doesn't happen overnight, right? While we feel great after each workout, we know it takes time and commitment to exercising at least 3 times a week to improve your physical strength and endurance levels, right? We know that once in a blue moon doesn't cut it. Especially for those recovering from burnout, major life events, abuse or PTSD, it's the same with getting ready to spend more time back out of your comfort zone.  What you can do is start doing at least one thing every day that puts you out of your comfort zone in a smaller way, before you jump in the big way. Maybe it’s doing a new hobby, or sport or type of dancing that's unfamiliar, maybe it’s calling up some organisation you haven’t before but have always wanted to, maybe it’s publicly doing a video, blogging about some topic that scares you but you're not sure if you're "expert" enough to pull it off, telling someone how you really feel, maybe it’s going something outdoorsy you haven’t done in a decade that you just want to know if you can still do it, maybe its facing up to feedback or going and asking someone out and getting rejected just to see what it feels like. Whatever it is for you, make sure it’s outside your comfort zone, so you can get yourself used to and liking these little hits, health hits of adrenaline that excite and make you feel alive when you push your comfort zone.

Do a little trust meditation.
Me being the Energetic Health/ Neo-Shamanic Transformational artist that i am, i could tell you as well, there's also a lovely, simple way also of embodying the exact qualities of more time spent in the soul zone and less in the comfort zone. E.g. trust in self and ones own inner knowing, trust in others and trust that the universe is happening for your benefit at all times. Here's a super simple trust visualisation you can do too to help you BE the change and the experience you wish to see in the world.

And after all that, who says you have to leap alone? Why not bring a friend? Or engage a friend, a partner or colleague, who will help you be accountable to your follow through?
Whatever way you choose to leap this week, here's wishing you a wonderful, magical, exciting and fulfilling ride.

Hey Women and Friends of Women in Business and Leadership. This week, a little something from my heart to yours about relationship. If you're genuinely dead serious about healing your past relationship wounds and improving the quality of your relationships in all aspects of life going forward, no matter what your gender, watch this video.  Yes, i cry. But there's gold in this, so stick with me. And say fuck yes with me this month to healing and letting go of the ghosts of the wounded feminine and masculine that keep us locked up in the pain and blame of relationship learnings past and say fuck yes with me to creating more love and peace in all of our relationships, in every moment going forward.