To all of you who i've worked with in 2018, to those of you who have been a part of my wider community and or me of yours, to all of you who've taken the time to regularly stop by and read my musings, to support all that i do too in 2018, and to good friends and family near and far, my sincerest, most heartfelt thanks for all of your support and our shared journey in 2018. And Happy Holidays to you! Wishing you have a peaceful, restful, happy and safe holiday break. Raising an entirely decent glass of Shiraz Rose in celebration with those of you who've had an awesome year and riding into Christmas on a high. And sending lots of love and holding in my heart any of you who aren't having such a great time this Christmas. Believe you me, this year particularly of all years, i feel you. xx
A few additional thoughts to last week on the end of year and aligning for the best possible year in the next one...
While this time of year can occasionally feel very lonely, it's worth remembering that all the feels that come up right now are not meant to be permanent. A lot is moving up and out of us, an old version of parts of us is expiring, that, like an app on our iphones, is no longer the best program to support what we want to create and how we want to relate in 2019. As that old version dies, the thoughts and feelings that come up symptomatic of that death process are often very absolute and resolute. And it's necessary to feel completely over them, completely done with that, like you'd rather die that experience that particular thing again....because it takes us getting to that level of conviction to let go of our attachment to that old psychological and energetic version of us for good and all that we were able to create in the world (or rather restricted in creating in the world) from that version of who we thought we were and thought things are, to actually give the truest, fullest, most breathtakingly amazing version of us and all the abundance that's been trying to reach us for as long as we've been asking for it, long enough to actually fully manifest within us, and in turn be created and mirrored back through the world around us.
So the challenge is not to get lost in the pain and get caught up in blame. But to take full responsibility for what is within us that is within our power to influence and change.
What we CAN do is love and forgive, and let go of the version of us that we thought we were, to make way for who we REALLY are and how things REALLY are and could be instead in the world going forward.
What we can do is find the gifts and the gold in all that was, so that we can move forward with love and positive perspective in our hearts and heads.
What we can do is come back to, to realign with the simplicity, beyond all our huge dreams and goals, of what we love and what matters most to us in life. And re-align into the truest, most soulful version of who we really are and allow it's full embodiment in this moment right now. And then envision and plan our next years action from that place, before finally taking action in 2019 from that place.
On the insistence of a friend that i need to write about, i recently recorded an approximately 30min audio on the subject (available below), along with a 15min realignment meditation after it (at 17 minutes in, to be precise.)
Based on the process i'd been doing in my private sessions since i first started an energetic wellness practice back in 2009, and this model that explains what is essentially, actually a universal alignment and manifestation process, i also created a workbook you can access below:
Love to hear how you go with these. And I’m truly excited for all of the awesomeness that I know (after years of watching people i've worked with manifest truly miraculous stuff while doing this work) CAN and WILL unfold in your world when you implement this process.
For now, here's hoping you have a peaceful, restful, happy and safe holiday break. With all my heart, I wish for you, that this be your best year yet in business, in leadership, in love and life. And I look forward to chatting with you again soon in 2019.
Big love xx
It's that time of year again. The one where, in our Business/Practitioner and Personal Development worlds, and maybe in the more quiet, midnight, finally NOT busy moments that many of you out there might be having too, we all start reflecting on the year that was and what we will or wont take forward from it.
Maybe it was an awesome one for you and everything came together in whole, new amazing ways that blew your mind. In which case, whoo, hoo! High fives!
If there were some aspects of it that it hasn't quite gone or come together yet exactly how you hoped, again let me emphasise the YET, there's a story i wanted to re-share with you.
I think there's an analogy for what the journey can be like worth remembering in the film La La Land, when May puts on her play. Remember, when Sebastian arrived and, in tears, she told him she felt so mortifiedly embarrassed and like she'd failed because she "only" sold about 9 or 10 seats, couldn't pay back the theatre and she was done? It always makes me a little bit sad when i see that because
a) she's awesome
b) it's not uncommon to have had to cover the costs of running things in the early days...if only someone had told her that, and or taught her enough about manifestation to set the intention that, at minimum, she break even (or better) and
c) i'm the kind of person that, wether i was presenting at an event where i had a room overflowing with people trying to squeeze into an outdoor event space and rows of people around the outside wanting to listen to what i had to say even through a canvas tent, or i had 2 or 3 women in a new breakthrough workshop i was testing or a Women's Circle, i'm always like "FUCK YES, I GET TO HELP 2 or 3 PEOPLE WHO ARE INTO THIS ENOUGH TO COMMIT!" WHOO! And i'll give them as much of my everything as i'd give a room of 110. Shattering that her man didn't find a way to make it. But brilliant that 10 people came. Sure, 2 apparently didn't get it and she overheard mirroring her greatest fears that really she's not making it because she really doesn't 'have what it takes'.
But then one of those people just happened to be an agent, who totally saw her, and invites her to audition for a film they're shooting in Paris. They love her, they give her the part and built the movie around her. Then 5 years later, she walks in, in her fancy French dress, back into the cafe on the movie lot where she used to work, only now SHE's the famous actress being driven around on the gold cart that all the aspiring young actresses want to shout a coffee.
A few important lessons in that:
-never doubt your own value, right here right now.
-stay connected to the bigger picture of what's really always unfolding for us all and be grateful for every opportunity and the hidden or obvious gold within it
-Learn to truly see and enjoy every bit of the journey and be grateful for everyone and every experience along the way.
-you are not how many likes or comments you get on anything- a post, a review, a workshop, a play, whatever the thing. It doesn't mean what our mind often jumps to the conclusion that it must mean. We are not the sum total of our externally awarded fame or fortune, or perceived lack-there-of. And if you're looking up the peak of the mountain, only appreciating the climbers on top of it (while missing the value of the ones right next to you) aspiring from a place of "I'm not enough, I'll be enough, my life will be enough when X happens" you've lost your way.
-never wait to say the things in life that matter most, or make the people you love the most (and they you) a priority NOW because you never know when you might not get another chance
-sometimes in life, it's just a timing thing and you're waiting for life and other people to align. Some aspects of that are completely out of our control. What we can control is within us and we can choose what actions we take to stay in alignment with and in the proactive creation of our part of it.
What you can control at the end of this year is that there is still an audience of people out there who need exactly what you're putting down. And this year is not over yet. There's still 15 days left, with which you can make a difference for the year. And still do, or say, what's, as yet, left undone and unsaid, with the people who matter most. Fifteen days to find and create some gold within all that is and connect with what is still to be. What will you do with them? How can you most make them count?
Big love to you.
And other values that are some of the foundational stones of modern-day success.
HONESTY, TRANSPARENCY, INTEGRITY and RESPONSIBILITY
In Business and Leadership, you don’t have to lie, manipulate and omit whole aspects of truth and reality to get people on board for your ANYTHING, product, program, cause or otherwise.
If you understand and are aware of the value of a product or service you’ve used or experienced and genuinely LOVE, you sharing your honest to God experience of why it’s so awesome, why you really love it and how it’s solved yours or others known annoying problems, and or supports their goals and aspirations, sharing this openly speaks for itself.
Then when people ask you questions about it, about the process, the logistics, about how it will work for them personally, answer them honestly. You don’t need to try and hide the down moments or potential side effects, or the challenges that might also come up along the way, or the realistic timelines, or your level of experience. In fact, the more REAL you can be ABOUT those moments and how you and your team support people to successfully NAVIGATE them, the BETTER.
If you’re in a learning phase or wanting to get something new tested up and running, it’s FINE to tell people that and allow them the possibility of choosing to engage in the process with you. I’m an avid believer in that, no matter where you are on the journey in life, on a planet with 7 billion plus people, there’s always a whole bunch of people perfectly suited to exactly where you’re at right now. Who would be happy to DO that process with you in exchange for whatever terms you set out and agree upon together. For whatever price you feel is integral for where you’re at (and that will change over time anyway as you evolve.)
When people ask you about your own success, past, or present, tell them and let the right ones who can be ok with that CHOOSE you. When people ask me how long it will take for them to have success, I do my best within my knowledge to give it to them straight. I’m the last person, simultaneously, who wants to rain on people’s parades of potential by putting limiting beliefs, doubts or conditions on anyone that hold them back or restrict what they THINK they can then achieve. And I tell them that and that I’m here to hold the space for the BEST possible outcome and their highest potential to be realised.
But then I honestly communicate, based on X number of factors like
(as just a few things), those things make the difference between you starting to get momentum in 90 days or being like some of the now world-leading Marketing experts that openly tell you it took some of them 8 years and millions of dollars spent on market research and product testing on their online offerings as one example, to get to where they are now; a point that has perpetual motion. While others have nailed it freakishly fast.
I recommend you adopt the same level of radical honesty because I KNOW it works and, is one of the foundations of true success.
As part of your commitment to radical honesty, and avoiding playing into the paradigm of fear and lack based manipulation:
As a Billionaire tech start-up investor I was talking to last year on a plane said to me and I agree, the old 90’s forceful NLP loaded sales-fest way of doing things is DEAD. The NEW way is based on radical honesty, respect and service based on sharing what you know, doing your best to lead by example, being true to your values…and as a part of a collaborative TEAM of support at that. To give value, WITH a viable pathway of follow-on support available at the ready SHOULD a person wish to continue to further access your expertise and support, they can.
It’s STILL about learning how to communicate WELL and BUILD trust and connection, but WITH THE RIGHT INTENTION of HIGHEST GROWTH AND SERVICE. NOT to manipulate influence, based on a lack of trust that people would CHOOSE to follow YOU out of all others out there, attempting to coerce participation based on fear over FAITH that people would willingly CHOOSE you and your offering over others, if you put all of you and the truth on the table.
It’s time to stop spending time and energy learning and DOING 90’s style NLP based BREAKTHROUGH trying to wear down the WRONG PEOPLE and to instead ask, how and where can you put yourself in front of more of the RIGHT ones? The ones who are a SOULFUL MATCH to the REAL you. You’ll know them when you see each other because you’ll FEEL like soul mates. And then, if need be, any breakthrough is just to work out any “life” circumstantial kinks in the way that are probably more about WHEN they start, HOW it will work, and HOW MUCH, not to mention self belief, worthiness and staying focused on their own vision…..life really DOES start to get SO much easier when you start trusting life to align you with the right people and possibilities.
Living into our integrity is also being willing to take feedback on, self reflect and be self-responsible for how you showed up prior and your growth in showing up going forward. But balancing that with also learning to discern when well meaning feedback might also qualify as misplaced projection of someone’s past stuff and to let it pass through to the keeper when it does.
Having close colleagues and Supervisors/Mentors who can tell it like it is to our faces are great for helping us soundboard through those feedback moments. But as a close friend once said to me, choosing to surround yourself with ONLY people who'll tell you what you want to hear, actually keeps you small and makes you WEAK because it’s running from the possibility of growth that lies as the gift within ALL challenges that come to our way of thinking, being and believing.
We’re in serious accountability trouble as Leaders and humans if we start writing off ALL feedback as projection, out of self protection and REFUSING to be accountable. That's when, as Coaches and Human Service professionals, we become potentially Hazardous to the health of the very people we wish to serve.
Leaders self-reflect, own their stuff and reflect on their mistakes when they have to. And they’re brave enough to wear the public stoning for their past sins if they have to. No one said it’s going to be FUN to go through. But you won’t die, only your ego will. (Said by someone who’s ego has publicly died enough times to know.) In the end, all we can ever do is our best. Our best to live in line with our values and be in alignment with our highest potential and our best to show up for and to deliver on what we promise to others.
In an industry like holistic wellness, which is already well and truly under the microscope of scientific and ethical scrutiny, as I said to my Women’s Leadership community recently, there has NEVER been a time where it is MORE important in this industry to BE committed to BEING HONEST, TRANSPARENT, INTEGRAL and SELF RESPONSIBLE in ALL of our dealings, personal and professional. But it’s just as relevant to the business realms still dominated by men and service based businesses across the board, isn’t it really? Perhaps someone can forward this to Australian Liberal Party HQ right now. Just kidding…..but not really.
May we all find the support we need to never have to surrender our values or forget our long-term legacies, in the name of short term gains. May we all be supported to reach our highest potential.
Until next time….
Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.