One of the Biggest Misconceptions Most Women Start Up Business Owners Have About Sales (which is keeping them broke)
What is one of the biggest misconceptions most women start up business owners have about sales, which is keeping them broke? In my several years experience of Business Coaching and Practice Managing Wellness Business Owners and Social Entrepreneurs, I hear this one time and time again. But here too is an insight or two to flip that perspective on it's head and get you back aligned with helping your clients and delivering on your life purpose.
If you'd like some additional info on how to clear your abundance blocks to help you better manifest your desired outcomes in your business, feel free to join us in the Women in Leadership Facebook community, Thursday, December 1, 2016, 6pm Brisbane Australian Eastern Standard Time (AEST) +1000 UTC for our Facebook Live.
Thanks for watching and, until next time, have fun, take care.
Do you have an important message to share with the world? Are you sharing it?
Sometimes the messages and the acknowledgement that we most need to hear ourselves become the very messages that we most need to share with the world and our tribe too. Because often our shadow is also our clients shadow. So if we don’t shine a giant sun sized torch light on our own shadow, they will hide in our shadows. And for me this week, my fear of being seen and speaking to the world in the face of intense opposition and the memory of war (when my heart so deeply yearns for love and connection) was well on the cards. So this week, I thought I’d share with you a little something and a few promises I wrote to myself as a re-affirmation of the game I want to play and the loving letting go of the one I don’t. Because I have a feeling there might just be something in it for you too. I fucking love you. Ok here we go...
Sister (& the brothers I know are secretly reading this too), in the noisy world that is, the world needs you to be louder.
No more waiting in the back of the line because someone’s need is more urgent than yours or their voice is louder than yours, your time and your turn comes now.
No more putting everyone elses wounds and feelings above your own and staying silent for fear of upsetting someone or something and taking their shit on as your own. With love, put it down and let it go. And fill yourself back up with the magic that is you.
No more staying silent for fear of being judged and condemned.
No more staying silent for fear that you are not enough, until that point of perfection that never comes.
No more needing more time to be “ready.”
No more acquiescing to silence to allow someone “who knows more than you” to claim that place on that stage where in fact you know you felt the calling that your voice was needed and you dearly wanted to speak but you didn’t. So they did.
No more waiting until you’re healed, until the enemies have gone and the battlefield has returned to green before you’ll step onto the field. It is time to send love and compassion to our wounded brutality, within and without and choose love.
It’s time to find the strength of your inner warrior, but minus the wounds and the pain of separation.
You can choose to be at war, or choose to be a living embodiment of love and living that love.
For you ARE ready. You are ALREADY perfectly everything you need to be. You have a voice and your voice matters way more than you know, right here, right now.
So speak it sister (& brothers) and speak it louder.
Because there is need for those centuries and eons of knowing you hold within need to be louder.
The collective feminine, the whole world of women out there is screaming out for your wisdom, your love, your gifts, your truth and every incredibly beautiful, amazing thing that you are, from your vulnerability to your fierce mumma warrior strength, to your luscious heartfelt sensuality. From what worked to what spectacularly didn’t, I want to hear it all. Warts, scars and all. I want to hear you! And every perfect, magical, piece of wisdom that lies within you. They know it too in their hearts, but they need to remember. And they are every where you go. Be their bright, shining reminder.
Right now, can you feel them? The women of the world, who know they need you, are still straining their ears trying to hear you, to see you, to find you in a world filled with so much noise. They need you to be louder. They need you to speak louder. They need you to be everywhere. They need you to rise up above all the challenges, the doubts, the pain, the bullshit and claim your space on the stage that is the world that you know is yours. And be love.
Be you. Be the gift that you are. Be all that your heart yearns to be. And share the living, loving embodiment of that message that you are and you came here to teach.
You are so fucking perfect, exactly as you are. And I fucking love you. All of you. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!
Right here. Right now. The world needs you. Exactly as you are.
So go out there and stand proud. And be FUCKING LOUD!!!
Yes there is a commercially clever way to share your message to bring more people into what you do and a way to share your authenticity that emphasizes the lesson that came from the "what not to do" moments of life, not just the process while you're in it and lost. But what the world needs more than another perfectly scripted Miss America stage performance is you speaking from your heart and moving with what inspires you. What's one way this week that you're going to commit to doing more of that and one action you're going to take to share it?
I love you :-)
As Practitioners and small business owners, we have this lovely desire to want to help everyone, but here's a really good example of why you want to try getting a little more specific...
This week, separate to events of the world, which i talked about today on my Facebook She Lives a Life She Loves page below...
I've been focusing on getting ready to take 10 days up North mostly not working in my business but ON my business, and then on me, I've had lots to do and lots of loose ends to tie up down here before i go, one's I've been keen to bring to completion so that i can make way for what i want to create next and what on some deep level, i know is waiting to unfold on the other side of that 10 days. In the process of doing my homework, I was watching the colleague who's training I'm going to next week on the weekend talking about our relationship with emotion relative to driving a car. Have you ever noticed that, sometimes in life (& business) we as the driver have a strong reaction to something that unfolds on the road of life, or someone, and then we slam the breaks on and pull over the car. Trying to hit the overwhelm off switch. Until we feel better, and then we pull back out and drive again. The only trouble is, sometimes, when we hit the old overwhelm off button and pull over, we can end up kind of blocking the flow of everything that was about to arrive to us in the process by trying to prevent just that one thing. In an attempt to not feel that discomfort, or regain control, we sometimes stop to try and figure it out, but then as we stop and step out of the flow of our journey, we can then miss the signs that were waiting to give us clues about how to navigate the next bit or that make us aware of the imminent arrival of what we've been asking for and the resolution of what no longer fits of serves, in whatever aspect of life, whether it be work or play. But more than that, we're no longer operating from the intuitive zone, but have popped back up into the mind zone. And the mind, while a brilliant tool when we use it right, doesn't always accurately represent the ultimate reality, so much as the the one that envisions and protects us from potential, hypothetical realities.
For me this week, I had both a tax thing (that i'd let do my head in trying to figure out HOW I would sort it) and a little women's health thing I wanted to sort before i go. And as i set my intuition to the resolution of both this week, and then watched both sort themselves out so quickly with such ridiculous ease, I couldn't help but wonder why i ever let myself avoid and waste time in worry over both in the first place. Both more clients I would've had room for and the more divinely lovely men (not in the same sentence) could've successfully made it through the wonderful obstacle course of defence mechanisms i'd so kindly laid out to keep out the kind of f@#$wit behaviour i'd spent the start of the year saying no to, for their to BE more love in my world again. (I've missed not having more beautiful masculine energy in my world this year.) But I've digressed. The point was literally, in reflection, life had been putting little signs (literally number plates) for weeks reminding me to not stress, it's all sorted already with the money thing and I realised in the treatment of the health thing, i could just let the divine masculine in to be a part of healing it NOW, not just once i'd "fixed" it. For the world at large right now, it might be in how we respond to the triumph of Trump and what we make it mean.
So, do you see what i mean? We can get all up in our head, start freaking out about everything on the road ahead, pull over and turn off the key or hit the off button, in an attempt to prevent something we fear unfolding, or to regain control over this or that thing. But any time we're in freak out, it pays to explore and question the reality of what we just told ourselves and the amount of energy we're pouring into it. So that we can stay on the road, hit the on switch to our positive mindset, lovingly acknowledge and re-purpose that emotional energy to our advantage, plus use our intuitive intelligence to attune to and see the signs guiding us in the right direction to fulfillment and success in our business, our life and relationships too.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
They can be confusing these moments. Because everything that was going on for you felt so real up until 30 seconds ago. Now suddenly a whole other possibility is emerging. Another reality. One very different perhaps to the thoughts that just went through your head and what you thought was going on. Now i don't want to for a second dismiss the importance of that "stuff" when it comes up, as sometimes, like in our blog last week, it needs a bit of time, attention and resolution to help us hold a mindset and perspective that helps us move forward and love life. And, on a slightly different note, sometimes we need a little space (whether temporarily or ongoingly) between us and another to find ourselves and our groove.
But what i'm talking about here, is what a wise individual once referred to as the "stuff" that ends up getting hurled into the space between us. Picture you and me standing where you are, 1 metre apart. Now think of the first old limiting belief that pops into your head, now look over to me and tell yourself that that is the reason that we can't connect. You've just taken some past belief/perception, which may or may not be true and hurled it into the space between us, which may now be preventing us from having the loving exchange we are here to have. E.g. me lovingly sharing this content with you, with loving intent and the desire for you to grow and be happy in your business and personal relationships, maybe even us working together, or having whatever personal interaction we're here to have.
Whatever it was that you heard (and they usually come under the headings of either a) self defence b) self doubt, c) self sabotage or d) separation through judgement), these things become the mental "stuff" that sometimes prevents us from interacting with each other from our hearts and souls and manifesting the kinds of loving, long term connections and collaborations I believe the majority of us on this planet would truly like to have. This mental stuff, at times, if left to it's own devices, can become the focus and material that drives us apart.
So if our desire is to deepen all of our work and personal connections, over creating separations, what can we do to help manage the mental stuff and better support our relationships of all kinds to grow?
1) Catch yourself in the moment when you have a negative response to the other and view that thought as if from a distance, with discernment. Hold the magnifying glass of truth up to it. What does it tell you about what you need right now or what you need in this situation with this person, or with others? Hold onto the intention that comes from it and make this your focus for all future interactions...everything else that comes up along the way, the hurt feelings, the pain, this is ultimately something that we created within ourselves and have the power to resolve within ourselves. The other person didn't do it TO us. Thus, when it comes to chatting with them, its good to be discerning about how much of the gory detail we really need to share, relative to what is going to help grow and move the relationship forward by working towards your mutual relationship goals. Think of it like gardening. It's finding the balance here between pouring roundup on your pretty flowers that are in full bloom (the full blow by blow details of your recent experience), verses sprinkling on just the right amount of water (e.g. what you learned that you need or would like going forward in this or maybe all relationships like this one.) Ok yes, sometimes in life some relationships are drastically out of sync with our values and who we're here to be and then sometimes it might be needed to just yank that little old flower out of your relationship garden. But my point is to consider how you want to truly nurture the beautiful garden that is your relationship with this person.
2) If you find yourself having been guilty of hurling the stuff, where appropriate, where you can, own it and find those two beautiful words "i'm sorry."
3) Reconnect to your heart and soul (and let them inform your mind.) As i'm writing this to you, picture putting a hand on your lower belly, a few inches below your belly button and another on your heart. As you connect and communicate, have the intention of staying connected to and communicating from these places, which correspond to your heart and soul. Your soul knows better than anyone what is true for you, what is in integrity for you and how to relate with and from love. So, the next time you're in conversation, let it inform the direction of the conversation.
4) Always approach your connections with an attitude of gratitude and minimal expectation. With one exception- the expectation (e.g.) trust that the people who you feel that heartfelt, soulful desire to allow into your inner work or personal circle, do also care about you too and want the best for you.
5) Finally, intend to be open to the possibility of both yours and their highest potential manifesting through you both and the natural flow of give and receive that develops when we intend to lead from the heart and soul. Surrendering to its flow sometimes means we have to let go of our minds desire to control. But time and time again, in my own personal experience and when i'm sitting with clients in session, watching their phones start to buzz with messages, emails and calls full of, not only love, but multiple opportunities that they'd recently added to their manifestation list, i can't help but smile with delight and gratitude that this managing the mental "stuff" pointers really do help you create relationships of all kinds that you love. But don't just take my word for it, feel free to put them into action; i'd love to hear too how you go
Until next time, have fun, take care.
Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.