Natalie Ferrier | Leadership and Speaking Coach Mentor Speaker Trainer
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Being Your Best Soulful Self v's Wanting to be Better THAN You Are...

3/27/2017

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(and how NOT to play that game)

Have you ever had one of those moments where a new opportunity comes in, something that you really, really want. Something that's the natural evolution in you taking it to the next level.  And you take it. But within a short time you find its taking you 3 times longer than you'd like to get something done because you're so busy trying to do BETTER and do the BEST you possibly can....because suddenly you think your best is not enough. When actually exactly who you are and what you were already doing totally well is exactly why that opportunity was attracted to you in the first place. It was your genius, your essence, your magic, your beautiful presence already perfectly in motion. How do we get back to being the brilliant selves we already ARE when this form of self sabotage or maybe even other people's stuff starts to creep in? How do we stay on our path and keep showing up as who we really are, instead of as our fears? What are some simple practices we can do to help with that? That's what this week's video is all about. 

Plus a few extra thoughts for a new moon in Aries....

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IT WAS THE ONE IN THE FOREGROUND, WHO SPENT THEIR WHOLE TIME JUST BEING THEIR BRILLIANT SELF AND THEN WHEN THE OTHERS PLAYED OUT THEIR COMPETITION STUFF AS OPPOSED TO BEING THEIR BRILLIANT TEAM PLAYER WORK TOGETHER SELVES AND SHARING THAT APPLE...WENT AND ATE THE APPLE...WE CAN WASTE A LOT OF TIME PLAYING OUT OUR OWN DESIRES OR OUR GREATEST FEARS AND A BUNCH OF PEOPLE LOSE....OR WE CAN JUST BE OUR BEAUTIFUL SELVES AND SHARE THE FREAKING APPLE WITH THE PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SHARE IT WITH US.
DO YOU KNOW WHO GOT THE APPLE? IT WASN'T THE GUY AT THE FRONT WHO SPENT ALL ITS TIME SQUAWKING, DEFENDING THE APPLE IT BROUGHT IN EVERY DIRECTION WHILE THE MIDDLE ONE EYED IT OFF AND EDGED TOWARDS IT, IT WASN'T THE MIDDLE ONE WHO FLEW OFF IN SEARCH OF A NEW APPLE ONLY TO HAVE THE OTHER ONE CHASE THE MIDDLE ONE AWAY IN CASE THEY CAME BACK FOR THE APPLE BUT ABANDONED IT IN THE PROCESS. 
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TIme to shine a great big light into all those dark, FEARFUL, places WITHIN, so that we can clearly see our path forward and support each other to get there...together.

xx Nat

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Getting your feminine sexy factor sorted...and how it helps your business

3/20/2017

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We all have one as women, right? Those women in the personal development space that we just HAD to work with because they just have that X factor. You don't necessarily know what it is at first, you know it's got something to do with being deeply connected to their feminine essence and wisdom and sensuality and un-apologetically owning that. And you're already working on that.

But still, you see it and you know you want to have whatever THAT is too, right? 


The good news is, if you're seeing it in them, logically it must already exist in you too. But the perhaps even better news is, you have a version all of your own that no one else has, that is waiting inside for you to cultivate it and let your own version of it shine.

And when you do, for no reason that has ANYTHING to do with being salesy or manipulative or misusing ones sexual power, but everything to do with you being authentically you, more women and men will be lining up to buy what you've got too. And, for that matter, just wanting to hang out with you too.
​ 

1- Sexual Self Esteem: Developing a Positive Connection with our Bodies brings forward our sexy factor


Yes it's part self confidence, yes it's part positive body image, yes it's part connecting with your own gorgeous essence. AND it's also part building your sexual self esteem too. Because how we regard ourselves sexually has a huge impact on our ability to show up fully feminine present and in our flow. 



How you relate to your body relative to your sexuality has a huge impact on wether your heart and your body will open their gifts for you. When you cultivate a relationship with your body that is loving, gentle, kind, patient and respectful and speak to and treate your most sacred of private parts with this kind of love and tender loving care, magical things happen. Energy switches on, illnesses quickly heal, numbness disappears, sensation and the flow of energy returns and with it the potential gift of pleasure. 


So one of the most little known but super important things you can do to help get your own X factor on and flowing is take some time to notice how you relate to not just your body but your menstrual cycle, your life stage, your sexual and or reproductive functionality. And have a think about in what ways you can, acknowledge and appreciate all the wonderful things they do do for you and functions they do for you. What if you were to make a list of 20 things you love about your sacred lady parts, including the great experiences you've had together and appreciating the functions she tirelessly does for you? And what can you do to be a bit more physically loving and nurturing of this part of you? I actually took lead from some of the beautiful men I've been with on this one and really took notice of the loving, honouring, healing and fully appreciative energy and touch they were dishing out that helped me heal a lot of wounds in this area. We don't have to learn this whole self love thing in isolation. Sometimes the mirror of it given by someone else, wether from a sister circle or a beautiful partner, is exactly what we need to help us fully understand what it looks like to love ourselves and our bodies in the same way. It's like the Ne-yo song "Let Me Love You (until you learn to love yourself) 


​2- Opening up the throat chakra

Another big step that is presenting itself right now in helping women both tap their authentic expression and the X factor that comes with it, is taking a look at what's sitting in the throat chakra right now. Did you know that there is a big relationship between your throat chakra and your sacral chakra? In the female body, the throat actually sits in perfect alignment with the cervix.  So much that ends up expressing powerfully through our throat had its origins in creation in our wombs and vaginas and happens in connection with the opening or contraction of our cervix. In birth, in our sexual encounters, in learning to sing, we're using our breath to connect the two spaces and without that breath, it is literally impossible to have our vocal chords make sound. And all that soulful sacral chakra wisdom, and creative energy, in flowing upwards, thus eventually finds its expression through our voice.

I'm finding with many of the women I'm working with, there seems to be a big collective clearing going on right now of the last remnants of karmic clutter still sitting in this very pathway. And on the other side of that clearing and integration process, is a stronger, more grounded version of our feminine soulful sexy self.

How can you clear your throat and cultivate your voice more?

Sing, write, make sound, perhaps with throat chakra healing meditations, make time to express out loud through story or conversation the things you would normally not say, embrace opportunities to speak in public and gain support from your colleagues and coaches about what comes up on the way. 

3- Getting moving gets your sexy factor flowing

And of course, if you want to get your life force moving and a flowing up through your lower chakras, into connection with the higher ones, it helps to do some physical activity that gets your life force pumping through and between them and the happy endorphins flowing, not to mention the insights flowing and your resilience and belief in all you're capable of on in the forefront of your mind. It can be easy to forget when we get busy the link between our making time to move and that beautiful X factor we have. Does it matter what form of exercise you do? Not really. Going to the gym or for a ride or run will do it for sure. But so will yoga, any number of eastern movement practices, and feminine movement and dance practices designed specifically to open up the female body and energy centres. Not to mention ecstatic dance, tantric energy practice and good old fashioned what? That's right? Sex! Your radiant, sexy X factor waits within and on the other side. Does that motivate you more to get your sweet tooshy moving and shaking? ​Coz it sure inspires me to want to get up and dance.

Nat xx

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 International Women's Day

3/8/2017

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Do you have some heartfelt words you would like to share with us today, for International Women's Day?

Believe it lit or not, for someone who had spent my last several years actively encouraging women to step up and own their incredible capability and gifts so that they can make a difference in the world and see for themselves just how amazingly capable they are when it comes to being the amazing shining lights they are here to be in this world, I always struggle every international women's day to write a post that feels somehow worthy. Of truly acknowledging the amazing women in my world, of acknowledging the depths of the great challenges they have faced, that adequately sums up the incredible strength and courage and endless truckloads of heart we so selflessly pour into those we love and the great lengths we would go to, for our children, our partners, our beloved/s, our family, our nearest and dearest. 

For a long time in my world, as someone who grew up most of my life without my biological mother, for the most part without grandmothers, who feels very blessed to have been embraced by the beautiful Step Mother and second or surrogate Mumma Mentors who took me under their wings and into their hearts this last several years, I yet felt in a way so inadequate to relate to so many of the amazing power house women in this community doing amazing things to support other women. And it felt like there was a giant wall between me and them still. A wall to being able to more deeply feel Mother that only seemed to smash down when I finally felt while violently feeling and vomiting out shitting out all I had held in me of my Mothers horrendous years of chemo, in surrendering to feeling in me the tremendous degree of helplessness and hopelessness and the depth of aloneness and rage with which her Mother who been ill most of her adult life and had lived a life that she summed up the memory of at her funeral with Memory from Cats. Feeling the deep sadness and hopelessness my Nana took to the grave of feeling like a piece of property to the man we all loved.  Being the sensitive being that I am, It almost broke me when I finally let myself feel them all. I've been seeing it, finding ways grinning a new place of empathy how to love and hold these tremendous wounds quite literally this last month, as it showed itself (among other things) on the inside of my left wrist. 


And from the privileged place from which I have the gift of living a (mostly, wrist aside ) healthy, life filled with so much love, support and aliveness, I had so much compassion, so much love, so much gratitude for the hell and the fight that they and all women like them went through in life so that I could be here today, feeling so very solid, so surrounded by love and so ever more able to help more women and men uncover their purpose, how love and joy wants to move and be experienced through them and uncover their own inner strength and conviction in being of service how they choose to be in this life time. Not all the battles for equality play out externally, the greatest one is deeply personal. But more than that, does it really have to be a battle against something, or a choice for something we dearly love? 


I sit here so full of heartfelt acknowledgement and gratitude for the hard work and sacrifices of all of the people who came before and up until now to pave the way for the lives we are all able to lead today because of the love and all that they gave for and to us. Gratitude for all of the beautiful people of all genders as we work together to truly uncover what it means to walk together, live together, work together, love life together, co-creating as beautiful equals. 


And especially today of all days, I celebrate all that we have achieved as women to make the progress that we have so far to be ever closer to equal, across the board. Happy International Women's Day to you. 


Is there some wise words of feminine wisdom you would like to share with us today too??

Nat xx

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Adaptability- why going with the growth helps us in business

3/5/2017

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Howdy friends. So the topic of so many of my chats this week turned out to be adaptability, in both business and life. One friend and I were talking about Darwins observation of survival of the fittest, which contrary to popular misconception, isn't about strength, so much as the ability of an individual to adapt to its changing environment effectively. 

Personal adaptability

The same can be said for our mental health. I would argue that adaptability of our perspective is a key skill to have to help one live a life they love. 

For example, I was tempted to do a doco style video from bed this morning explaining that, at one point in my life, I might be waking up single and happiness lies in the ability to wake up and roll all around the bed gleefully being grateful for the ability to spread out and be a star fish. And at another point in my life, I may be waking up with somebody next to me and be super grateful to roll over for a cuddle and a spot of good morning love making. The single bit might still have some love making. But do you see my point? Our ability to embrace the opportunity and gifts available in any given moment is a matter of perspective, and our happiness is dependent on our ability to adapt our perspective as the moment required. But i've digressed from business. Thought, lets face it, the two go hand in hand because the better you feel about you and life, the better you feel about your work.


I also had several conversations this week about how adaptability is key in business, but to many of us it comes by a slightly different name eg ability to trust in and go with the flow, embracing the feminine, in balance with the masculine structural, procedural side of business. 


In business adaptability can look a bit like:


-Allowing oneself to trust in ones intuition and follow the flow.

-Being willing to let go of our fixed picture of how we thought it should be or was going to be to make way for what we're truly here to be or is trying to unfold now 

-Being willing to let go of our attachment to the safety of the known, to the existing policies and procedures to develop novel and revolutionary new ways of meeting new needs that have arisen and rising to the occasion of new circumstance.  

The downside of lack of adaptability in business

And this year more than ever, we are being tested on going with the flow more than ever and our ability to thrive is this new climate is now so dependent on it.

I saw this illustrated so well this week trying to update my details with several companies and government agencies covering everything from licences to passports to tax to mobile phones. I had several conversations with staff members who were either annoyed by my change of circumstance/travel/needs because their fixed system couldn't account for it or sat there judging me for being on the move every few months "oh really, is that how you live your life, will you should be living in one place." "Really, you're going to sit there as a customer service representative and judge me for my lifestyle choices and travelling in my work? Would you mind then putting me through to your supervisor or complaints department about your companies/agencies inability and apparent unwillingness to adapt a solution to meet my particular needs and the several hundred odd thousand entrepreneurial types just like me, who you'd rather just pretend don't exist?" My point, lack of adaptability on the part of the service provider can make for a lousy consumer experience. Who would you rather buy, the service provider who gives a list of everything you can't do and they can't provide for you, or the one who goes the extra mile to meet your needs and give you lots of value, regardless of whether or not you buy?


When we get too attached to our own needs, to following and updating the procedures and how it's supposed to happen (put another way, to our need to be in total control of the outcome at all times for our comfort) we can actually get in our own way, in others way and and sometimes end up getting in the way of the very progress and growth we're supposed to be all for.

So to grow we need...

For our business to grow, and for us to embrace our destiny, some times we need to be willing to let it all go and get out of the way to let the growth, evolution and expansion that wants to happen, happen. To keep our energy and passion on track too. This is why they say entrepreneurship is a bit like flying a plane you're building mid flight.


Thus our ability to thrive, in business, in relationships, in life, is all relative to our ability to adapt and trust in the process of adaptation. Eg the natural flow of life. And adopt systems with the flexibility to hold and adapt with the flow the more flow there is. The busier and bigger the entity grows, the harder it is to hold it all oneself. So that's when you need processes and structure, plus delegation to help it grow. All of which also need to be, what now? You guessed it, adaptable.

Make sense? ​

Until next time, have fun, take care.

Nat xx

P.S. We have a new call link now. If you'd like to book a free clarity call to discuss what's going on in your business right now, what you'd like to achieve and how you can realistically work towards it, you can book a free 20min clarity call here
GO TO THE NEW CLARITY CALL LINK HERE
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    Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.
    ​Plus being 40, Fecund and Freaking Fabulous for the % of Women who (by choice or circumstance) are exploring career, love and lifestyle, beyond the traditional life path of biological Motherhood.

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  • Home
  • About
    • My 40 No Kids Now What Story
    • TESTIMONIALS
    • WELCOME WOMENS COMMUNITY
  • EVENTS
    • Express Like You Creative Expression Performance and Speaking Practice Event Series
    • Lead Like You Chai and Chat Webinar Creating Inner Safety
    • Lead Like You Chai and Chat Webinar Unleash your Unique Leadership Presence
    • WELCOME Women Without Kids Virtual Meetup May
  • PROGRAMS
    • BOOK A SESSION
    • Do What You Love
    • Lead Like You
    • MIDDLE AGED NO KIDS NOW WHAT
    • Say it Like It Is
  • Blog
  • contact
    • BOOK A TIME WITH ME
  • Donations Partnership and Sponsorship
  • RESOURCES
    • PODCAST 40 NO KIDS NOW WHAT
    • 40 No Kids Now What YouTube Channel
    • ARTICLE So Why Don't You Have Kids The Conversation Leaders need to be having instead about the growing percentage of people doing life without children
    • WELCOME Women Thriving Holiday Listen Read and Watch List