There is a story to this photo that lies behind this text and a reason that i picked that image of all images. That image is of Lake Hart is South Australia. I took that on my solo trip from Alice Springs back to Melbourne back in 2011. But it wasn't the first time i had been there.
You see, I had stood on that exact same spot on the way up a bit over 2 months earlier, in the pitch black of a dark moon, with a friend standing about 50m behind, patiently letting me experience what was about to unfold in that place. That night admittedly was a night of many experiences which defy "logical" explanation. And this was no exception.
I stood there alone, but not alone, communicating with people who were there but not there communicating in words that can't be spoken with words, but yet are felt and are known. They told me to look out across the lake. And as i did, i suddenly became aware of hundreds of thousands of people, all standing out there. and i fell to me knees and cried. Because as i did, at a time when i had just made one of the hardest decisions i had ever had to make and felt like a total failure for having walked away on the house we bought, the life we started building, the children we might have had and all i felt completely powerless to fix or heal, here i felt before me hundreds of thousands of people, as those i stood there with told me that these were all of the people i would come to help in this lifetime. They then told me that it was time to let go of the wounded girl i had come there as and step into becoming the woman and the leader I am here to be. After a bit of time, i accepted that.
And then they said, comes a test, for now you will be the one to guide you both back to the road and your camp. Now, if any part of me thought i was going to walk back to my friend and then casually defer to HIS awesome intuition to get out of what suddenly felt like a daunting task after we'd walked what felt like a while to get there, it was too bad, because those beings had just told my incredibly intuitive friend exactly the same thing that i had just been told and he repeated it back to me. And so in the pitch black, in the middle of the outback, with little more landmarks than a solar light on a train line in my memory, a whole bunch of tracks leading everywhere and just a tiny little torch, freaking out for having responsibility for my friends well-being now in those moment, instead of just planting my butt on the ground and waiting 2 hours til i could just see in where we were meant to go in broad daylight, I took the torch, closed my eyes, breathed and felt for my connection with the land and my inner shamanic compass and started feeling our way back. And as we walked and i lead this way, or that way, i felt for when it felt right, and when it felt off track and then corrected and got back on track. Until eventually, i caught site of some campervans in the carpark ahead of us. And though i brought us out a little to the left of the exact entrance we came out of, i basically collapsed in my friends arms with a massive sign of relief and "thank fuck, i was so freaking out for HIM...more than me, but about getting him back safe as part of our little collaboration. Though both of us knew too, in the company we had been in, after the night of defying all "logic" we had had, plus my many years of walking around the land, by myself, growing up, there was more trust winning than concern. And so we gave thanks, rested for a bit and then drove on, for 2 months of adventures and the kind of stripping back that of all the layers of "not the real you" that happens so powerfully in the heart of this land we call home.
So two months later, i had come back this day, in day light, to take stock of what i had achieved 2 months before. And if i had in my head in can't have been that big a deal, as i re-walked the tracks out to the lake that day, up and over dips and hills, round turns, through creeks, through pipes, over the railway line and through terrain that actually, wasn't it turns out totally straight forward, it really sunk in as i came back to start a new job Practice Managing an amazing birth focused Wellness Clinic for two incredible women i love, not only did i feel ready to have a wholehearted crack at the next level of this whole leadership bit, also i realised i had grounded a whole new level of trust in my intuition. I came out, drove solo across Australia out of that place a new woman, with a very different pair of eyes. Minus many layers of total mental b.s. about what i can't do. Through those eyes it was pretty clear what an illusion it all really was.
And so, i felt to write you a little reminder, at this time at which many planets are calling us to be still and get really present, in the present moment, rather than looking backwards at all the stories and the things we might have long told ourselves and believed in that stillness, perhaps its time to stand there and become present right to what is really going on for you and around you in the present moment right now. What do you feel, inside and out? What lies there? Who lies there? And what wise words of wisdom do you too need to just feel and just know, as it comes to you, straight from that place where no words are needed?
Claim them. Reclaim that part of you. Reclaim that power. And imagine all the wonderful things that can happen in the world and your world when you be that version of you. When you be YOU.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.