What separates the dreamers from the doers who live to see their dreams? What separates those who get it done, from those with a perpetually evolving list of reasons for you that they still can't do what they say they really want to be doing with their life, 3 years after they first told you they want to do it? What separates those content to cling to the safe-havens of a "secure" world they've created, from those who have the courage to take a stand for something they love and go after what they love?
For me, I felt like life kind of smashed the crap out of my rose coloured glasses and ripped out the illusionary rug of safety from under my feet at a very young age. There are few things quite as scary as the moment you stand at age 8 at the bedside of a parent that just died, while you get a thousand downloads a second about everything you'd previously been lead to believe about the nature of reality being complete bullshit, nothing is truly safe and secure and most of the people in the room don't have a freaking clue how it really all works, among other things. From that point onwards, and the two days later on my birthday when i remembered that i had a choice at this point...spend my life going forward looking backwards and crying over what was lost, or embrace the next moment, and every moment forward and use it to live a life i love and share love, given that my tolerance for pain had just been widened substantially, having the courage to go after what I love, minus the fear of what i had to lose, got markedly EASIER.
These days, i'm getting pretty good at following those moments of heartfelt curiosity onto planes to fly 3 states to go find out for sure, to do work i believe in, because someone i care about asked. I wont hesitate to get up at 1:00am or 4:00am to climb some mountain or get to a work thing I wouldn't miss for the world. By 33, I had literally studied and lived all 5 of careers that tested up on Psych profiles as my top 5, performing arts, psychology/counselling/coaching, business and entrepreneurship, spirituality and natural resources/animal and environmental science. And over the years life keeps bringing me new and genius ways to combine them and more importantly, i keep saying yes. There are days when I showed up to Coach for a day and end up starring in an ad that was being filmed. At 35, I Coach, trade and run my own business and am a key force driving other people's 7 figure businesses i believe in, while I’m looking after animals. I have had a huge vision for over a decade of supporting tens of thousands more Women Leaders in particular and emerging leaders across the board to realise their destiny as the architects of change they truly are in this new paradigm we all wish to see unfold in the decades to come, plus have the freedom to live lives that they love.
At times, I had no idea how on earth that was going to unfold, at others, amazing people and amazing 6 and 7 figure business people with all the right tools to support me to get there just emerged out of thin air, and i found myself in rooms full of them talking about taking on the challenge of achieving what they'd done. And i was honest in that i said i thought it was going to smash and rearrange me a bit and might take me a bit longer than everyone else, but i was determined to give it a go. And since i took on that challenge, I cannot tell you how many times i've caught the waves of life, fucked it up and got smashed on the rocks....only to get up again and get back on a board because i freaking love the ocean and stubbornly refuse point blank to give up. And because of that stubborn determination, I keep ticking off goals as done on the way to get there, every day, every year, i live a little bit more of it, while others have quite literally cracked the shits and called it quits. Why? What is it that i'm doing differently?
What is it that those who succeed in creating their dreams are doing differently?
I could, and I am, in fact covering that in my Women's Leadership book in more depth, but here's a few things to contemplate for now...
Maintain a constant child like curiosity about what dances across your heart. When you follow that curiosity it takes you far in the direction of what yo love, often further than fear of anything will take you in the opposite direction away from something. Running away from something tend to lead you in a circle straight back head to head with it. So follow your curiosity in the direction of what you love.
2: Surrender to the soul pull.
Give in to and follow those moments where your hand shoots in the air and you yell for that opportunity and you don’t even yet fully understand why. Sometimes your sub-conscious knows better than you do. When that happens, dare to be curious, NOT to do what you were possibly just thinking of doing and stay in the game. Find out what the opportunity is all about. It's either going to show you what you want more of or exactly what you don't. Both are equally a gift.
3: Stubborn determination
Stubborn determination goes a long way, combined with your steadfast trust in that there’s a reason why you practically feel in your bones the desire and the hunger for that thing. When you keep focusing on the goal ahead in the distance, when you honour that desire, like that very first toy or piece of fruit on the other side of the room that a toddler decides they absolutely MUST have, you can lift yourself with stubborn determination back out of anything and above the challenges of anything. Fail fast, succeed faster.
4: YES, STILL have a WHY
Being able to be present in the moment and stay with oneself in the present moment is awesome. But if you're on this planet for any given time, it actually gets a bit tricky trying to exist without a why. After the point of enlightenment many on the spiritual quest seek, most people don't magically disappear off the planet in fact at all. In fact, after the point of enlightenment, one still has up to another 80+ years to kill time, so hey, we might as well spend it on something we're passionate about and asking how we can be of service and that's what our soul whispers to us about through our dreams and daydreams about every single day. Yes EVEN the ones about people you think you'll NEVER be with in real life. What are they showing you about the kind of attributes in people you're looking for, the attributes in yourself you need to own, or the kind of experiences you wish to have? THAT is their gift. For many of the people I’ve worked with, they thrive when they find what that thing is for them that inspires that absolutely fierce commitment to the prize in themselves.
5: Get ok with being rejected and experiencing pain.
Get ok with going head long into the discomfort of emotion when it shows up in the pursuit of love and doing what you love, with who you love. Because here's the thing. Negative emotional states are not and were never supposed to be permanent. The human being exists in a constant state of ebb and flow in a quest to come back into balance. That means the moment you feel the uncomfortable, it will pass and you'll re-balance to towards the opposite state. Trying to fight this process is like putting the pause button on life. You can do it, but you're on pause...how far can you or others go or grow while you're on pause? What can you manifest while you're on pause? Compared to what can flow when you're back in play?
6: Watch the company you keep.
Surround yourself with people who are genuinely inspired by you, what you're aspiring to do in the world, who want to grow with you and see you lift to your highest potential and vice versa. Make sure they're in your work team and your personal world. Success often happens faster when you're riding with the right kind of love and support. But when you've ascended through the relationship dynamics that can keep us playing small, people pleasing and staying stuck.
Get ridiculously good at building and maintaining relationships. Connection, mutually beneficial collaboration, respecting the wisdom each holds on equal terms, are the currency of the future.
8: Recognise the wrong support from truly aligned support
Fire and quit listening to all the people who have a conflict of interest in wanting to lift you with one hand, while holding you down or pulling you down with the other. Who try to tell you that your dreams are too big, that you're getting too big for your boots, who are giving you one version to your face and sticking a knife in your back the second you're out of the room. Learn how to recognise those people who hurl tonnes of their delighted energy at you and glamour you with charm because they want something from you, from those who are genuinely aligned with you, see and value you and care as much about your own growth and success as their own. When you're aligned with the same vision and values, when you have the same agenda, that's easy because you both want the same thing.
9: Learn how to lead in the future
Humans are a hierarchal species, we like to have levels of leadership, and so a traditional part of leadership training has been teaching and needs to, in this period of great transition into a world where we all have greater personal sovereignty, has to be teaching how to be influential and gain followship. But we must not forget that followship is NOT leadership. Having people become hopelessly dependent upon us is NOT aiding their SELF-empowerment. To "empower' is to give someone the power to do something. In order to create change in the world of future, we have to help others ascend into their own power and ability to self-lead. In the new paradigm that we want to unfold, everybody, when they tune into what they truly love and who they're truly here to be IS a part of the puzzle of change that needs to be pieced together, which means we need to start acknowledging everyone as equal as a leader, who, in their turn, will take the front of the room to deliver their important puzzle piece.
10: Get grateful for every single aspect of life
All of it. Yes even the tremendously shitty moments where absolutely horrendous stuff happened to you or others. This is one of the golden keys to liberating oneself from feeling like a victim, into the power to move beyond that experience forever. The good bits and the bad bits are the reason you are the amazing person who you are today. And the lessons you learned within the experience and how you navigated it, will become your wisdom and medicine to teach the world.
11: Detach from the Drama
Deal with your physiological and mental addictions to drama and get good at not playing out the stories and instead refocusing on what you love and how you're here to abundantly be of service.
12- Acknowledge your own value and be grateful for YOU
Acknowledge and get grateful for who you are, for all of the gifts, wisdom, processes you hold within you and acknowledge your own value. No matter what aspect of life you look at, business, dating, relating, whichever, the first and most important sale is always to yourself.
13- Celebrate your wins
And It’s so important though to acknowledge our wins along the way. The faster and more often you acknowledge and celebrate your milestones on the way to your bigger goals, the faster you “upgrade’ or rather actualise your insides and achieve more success on the outside, and in this case, help more people.
14- Be in this for the long term
In both the quick fix culture that is and start up business, it's so easy to get caught up is seeking short term gain and worrying that you need to quit if results aren't immediate. There will be times where things manifest rapidly and then there will be times at which they take their sweet freaking time. In the tech culture that is, there will be times where things have their season quickly and then die and so we have to be able to adapt faster than ever before. Yet, if you're truly going to lead and succeed in creating an inspired business and life you love, you've got to think the long game, with wealth with clients, with people. How can you create something that people can continue to grow and engage with over the long term, that will continue to support you and those you love over the long term?
15- I Believe
Believe in something bigger than yourself and practice operating in connection to it always, learn to trust and have faith in the the part of it that operates within us and the grand plan of perfection that is attempting to unfold with and through us always, if we can get out of our own way long enough to let it.
16- The impossible IS possible
I truly believe there’s no task, no massive dream we can be given that we’re not capable of achieving and that we don’t already have the innate potential and abilities to achieve. It’s worth remembering in the seeming down moments, life didn’t give you this goal, just to say “ha ha, PSYCH! Was just kidding, as if you can have that!) Our soul gives us those visions as a reminder of our destiny. Then it’s a matter of how long and sometimes getting out of our own way, to align with the right way to get it done and then doing the work, gathering the right resources and getting the right support to co-create your vision and make it, not just yours, but multiple people’s reality, every single day. Having a support tribe and a team of the right Mentors, is a huge part of that too. Someone to help you implement the many levels of business related practicalities and the practicalities of life.
17: Have a plan, but stop trying to control
Finally, have a plan, but at the same time, get out of your own way on trying to control all the outcomes so you and others can feel safe. You can't. But what you can control is within you, so make sure you use that power to create something good, for you and the world.
What support do you need now in your business to make the next part of your helping vision, your destiny, your reality each and every day?
Until next time have fun, take care.
Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.