Valuing our own incredible value (and why people buy us)

One of the first and necessary tasks of start up business or organisation is holding up a sign post to the world about who we are, what we do and with who so that we can become known for that and then people know to come to us or send people to us for that. But why is it that some people's sign posts seem to get all the attention, while's others don't? Part of the answer lies yes in mindset and getting all the sales, marketing and communication nuts and bolts in order to be able to accurately convey to people what you do. But why is it then, that two people can have a very similar offering, and one of the best ones on the planet at that, and both do all the right things you're meant to do....and one gets momentum, but one doesn't? As someone close to me once said, if you believe in something, you could seriously sell ice (the frozen water kind) to Eskimo's, but if you're not 100% behind something and believing in it, it's harder for you to move it. Beautiful isn't it when people who love us see us more clearly than we see ourselves? He makes a great point though...if we ourselves can’t see, feel or understand and hence aren't really fully behind the incredible value that we and our offering/s bring to the table, this is a big part of why many business owners out there aren't getting the kind of momentum they really want.

The moment you declare yourself in the world AS something or for knowing something, its going to test us to the core on how secure we really feel in our own skin and on our trust and belief in ourselves, in the depth of all we have to offer. You’ve just put yourself out there with the absolute intention of helping and making a difference in the world, of helping people, grow, heal, transform in positive ways. The more you find people to be of service to, the more that’s exactly what starts to happen. Yet, when we put ourselves out there, you’ve also offered yourself up for critique, for comparison, for the process of commoditisation by those who buy on price, for those with hangups about lack, by those others out there who consider themselves more “expert” at what you do, by those who are getting triggered in all the right ways for the right reasons by the work you put out there that was designed to help them transform.


When we’re not where we want to be yet, wether it’s financially or feeling secure in ourselves, our expertise, our message and the solidarity of our positioning, its easy to get caught up in trying to prove that we are enough, that we know enough and in justifying and defending oneself against perceived judgement and misconception. If we’re a Practitioner or Business Owner and in the establishment or (re-establishment phase), it’s easy too, to get caught up in the freak out when someone somewhere launches something similar, especially if it’s cheaper than something you just poured your heart and soul into building or offering.

Like the bottom 3 stages of the journey below here (because becoming the CEO of your business and life IS a leadership initiation), we can potentially lose a lot of momentum getting pulled out of our centre into the storm of the scared and distracted space. What then, does one do about that to ensure that we can maintain momentum? 

So what do we do about it?

We can start with flipping out perspective on the matter.
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It took me years of training to realise that you can have all the right marketing and sales training and have potentially developed one of the best value propositions and offerings to go with it on the planet. But if you yourself can’t see, feel or understand and hence aren't really fully behind the incredible value you and your offering bring to the table (or aren't behind what you're promoting for someone else for that matter), you just won’t get the same momentum with it that someone else will when you watch them launch a similar thing, that they ARE as close as possible to 100% passionately behind themselves and the offering and do feel worthy of what they're asking in return for it. As Lisa Isaacs once said, “how you treat you, the world will follow your lead.” I think that's partly true isn’t it? But also it's not necessarily that they don't see or value you and what you do, sometimes it's that their value of us can't land if we're rejecting the very possibility of receiving it. Make sense?


So part of the key is to work on our insight and awareness of the incredible value we bring, our belief in that we are worthy of what we ask for, our ability to receive back what life wants to give us in direct or indirect exchange for everything we have to give and to make sure we truly believe that we're worthy .

Part of the reason by the way i could "sell ice to eskimos" (with ok, maybe a bit of retail sales training early on in life, but well before my years of spending tens of thousands of dollars on business, sales and marketing training) was just because I was so very authentically passionate about what i was sharing. I'm innately someone who looks for and appreciates the good in things, gets ridiculously excited by the littlest things and shares what i love. That's a HUGE part of what inspires someone to buy. Hence why you have to be passionately do your best to fall in love with YOU and what you offer.

Plus, then these help too...


1- Nail Communication
Get ridiculously committed to communicating well with others. It’s not about manipulation or braining washing people. Good interpersonal communication in social and work dynamics is a core life skill that should’ve been mandatory when many of us went to school it’s that essential  to us creating a successful life, successful human relationships and a successful business. Not to mention, it’s essential to our success as a Leader in being able to create a positive impact and influence in the world.


2- Get A+ good at relationship building
Likewise, we have to get incredibly good at building and nurturing long term relationships and creating community. There are no shortage of bright shiny marketing magic tricks on display out there in the wider world and there are no shortage of people who will chase the flash in the pan hype along with its slightly misleading, not quite the whole story, promises, chasing the cheap commodity version of your stuff, all the way to the final delivered version of realising that yes they may give you incredible value in the free content they give out to their tribe, but you don’t get the personalised undivided one on one attention of world leaders for $10 and your clients don’t get long lasting or the best results in your business just jumping from freebie to freebie.  But when you get great at building and nurturing relationship and trust with your tribe, the people who are genuinely serious about getting results will ride with you through the flash in the pan magic tricks and hype and, where you hold to the value of what you offer, they’ll reflect it back to you. That’s where you play the inner alignment/authenticity and the emotional maturity game and you win.


3- Be of Soulful Service
Remember also to take the path of service approach. If someone has a similar idea to you, if more than a few people are attuning to a similar concept, we can also view it as being because exactly what you’re feeling and saying is a ridiculously NEEDED message for the collective right now and that message NEEDS as many messengers as will listen to and spread it far and wide. If we’re REALLY in our hearts and coming from the path of service approach, that’s a good thing.  And how can we support each other in doing that? With respect to honouring anything that we know for certain the other person recently or at some point had to say on the matter?


In a world where you and your wisdom and experience are the product, we have to raise the bar of self value. We’re not commodities to be bought on price alone, each of of us is irreplaceably rare, preciously priceless and undeniably unique. One could line 10 people up next to each other saying exactly the same thing as you, but no-one can ever say it in quite the same way as you do, through your lens of experience and perspective. As Louise Hay once said, a person will listen to 3 of those and reflect back that they have absolutely no clue what each just said, it might as well have been in a foreign language. Then some will listen to you and scream with delight and gratitude that they totally get it and you totally GET THEM! Worth remembering.


And while it’s easy to see other people loving people having big wins and start measuring up, it’s also worth remembering that it’s not just the wins that the right people love us for, it’s our quirks and our flaws and all those unique little things that make us human and unique. Those thing we worry no one could ever love? Those are usually the things that those who adore us actually adore the most.

​So sure, we can put up the sexy librarian face screenshot with the subtle hint of cleavage or the smart business casual attire or our sweetest feminine flowy dress and hair, holding some highly spiritual object, or stand there wearing the right suit and the right Rolex and the “right” coloured shirt or dress to create trust and connection according to 5 psych profile tests done on it once, or even put up the bank account shot or the "As seen on" social proof trying to prove again we’re enough through our integrity and real results,  trying to win over people by SHOWING them what we want them to see in us. I’m not saying that’s “wrong” because, sure, it also communicates something we might WANT and they might need to see to connect and anything that helps us build common ground is a plus in this world.  BUT it’s worth remembering they actually, REALLY start to fall in love with us the moment we open our mouth and start speaking and just BE the real US. THAT’S what people connect with, That's what makes them a HELL YES. That’s what they connect with that they choose US over 10 other people with something similar on offer. No one else on the planet could be you even if they tried. And In a world full of masks and fixed role related expectations , we’re DYING for the breath of fresh oxygen that is service based, heart and soul centred authentic leadership, in fact human connection with other authentic, soulfully embodied humans full stop.

But that being said, it sure helps if we learn to love and value all we bring to the table, warts and all too. If you’re not already feeling strongly rooted like a tree to the ground sure of your value right now, make sure you go back and grab that self value meditation I shared the week before last and mentally plug back in the disconnected wires of being fully aware of what you've got, until you truly GET IT. And if you need someone to help hold up the mirror for you to see your gorgeous REAL reflection, know that I’m here for. Just reach out.

Until next time, have fun take care.

Nat xoxo