The Facebook Misconception to Disconnection Conundrum

Reclaiming our online relationships from false mental realities

Hey there. So you might have seen recently all the Facebook posts about the "new" Facebook algorithm that makes it so people only see a small percentage of your shares and drop off unless you like and comment on their posts. Or perhaps the articles of earlier today with former Facebook execs sharing their concerns about social media creating widespread disconnection.  Funilly enough, I wrote a post about this in recent weeks.

Actually FB doesn't have a NEW algorithm that means only some people can see your posts, versions of that algorithm have been in place for a few years now.

It's been the case for years that your FB wall posts might have made it to only up to 10% of your FB friends. And you were released to more and more as you got likes or comments. It was part of what was done to counter the massive expansions of Facebook groups and movements that happened around 2009/2010, where groups were growing to then of thousands, to millions I'm a matter of months....and it scared the living crap out of the powers that be how fast their walking experiment of a social media platform was utilised by the people to band together, but someone was ALWAYS going to need to monitise it when it did. They introduced wall post limiting algorithms to slow it down, then FB ads were introduced and they introduced the wall share limiting algorithm to aid the purchase and spread of FB advertising, while they maintained the functionality to spread mass messages to the population in record time and spy on everything we do too. Remember?

With the goldfish 10sec attention span the scrolling feeds have induced, how quickly everyone forgets what already was. How quickly, like Inception, those feeds implant thoughts and our brains got filled with the thoughts they wanted us all to think. Which is precisely why for years I have had all my clients do daily alignment practices like these ones below, so that they reconnect to the natural world beyond false screen group think realities, so that they/ you are walking the world as soulful you and thinking your own soul thoughts.  Here's two examples of processes i've offered this year to help clients come back to the clarity of themselves (hint, the one on the right is a little more Neo Shamanic/Transpersonal, if that does or doesn't work for you)

2018 Alignment Practice

30 Day Challenge Daily Alignment Practice

The fallout for relationships everywhere of people not having seen or been in the 10%

​Let me take the Facebook insight a few levels further, in case it hadn't already hit home. Think back over recent Facebook history. Remember the years of "friend culling posts." Friends, family, colleagues, telling you they were all worked up that so and so never supported them on this business thing or commented on that life crisis on social media. Now think about the "only 10% of my friends will see my posts. " How many of those posts might never have showed up in their feed, or maybe they weren't on a device in the few hours when it did...so maybe they (wether clients, colleagues, family or friends) don't or didn't even know those things happened? How many friend wars do you think have gone down over erroneous assumptions made of online content? How many posts have you seen talking about this, where hundreds of other people jumped on board defending someone against someone they knew little about, other than one snapshot Facebook post out of decades of their human existence, that they all used to forever condemn that one person? How many Facebook friends do you think have been unfriended over things that maybe never actually happened? For fearing the worst, over hoping for or expecting the best? How many times have people blocked and unfriended, only to later run into that person at a real life event and feel, well....awkward. But imagine if they actually talked and found out the whole REAL reason they're no longer "friends" doesn't even exist? Oooops!


 Scary, gut twisting, sobering thought, don't you think?


The downside to the upside of a world where we stare at computers and devices all day long is that it has us viewing the world in a completely different way than when we actually SAW people in person every day; it has us viewing through our heads, and when we view things through our mental reasoning faculties, sometimes we miss the heart filter and the compassion litmus test against online content, for signals and cues we would recognise in an instant, if only that person, whoever they are...new business acquaintance, long term friend, some entirely human business person that friended you one time, was sitting there right in front of you, looking at you and you could see into their soul. (You still can from behind a computer mind you, it just takes a little more meditation type focus to stop and feel into them and what they're really meaning, where they're really at.)

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Only one way to know for sure in the end though....just ask them.  Them personally, not someone else's 3rd party opinion of them who knows them well, or works with them. Wether meant or not, the more outside opinions, the more perceptions and unconscious agendas might also come into play, then you get erroneous GROUPTHINK and us v's them wars, based on what? Did anyone stop and fact check?  There's two sides to every story. It pays in nurturing connection to always ask THEM direct. Because as sad as it is, people we love DO have their own subjective bias, their projections, and their conscious and unconscious agendas. In life, we have to find the balance between trusting those we love, but also staying connected to our own intuition and capacity for discernment, so that we're holding the ultimate truth of how things really are and being fair to all involved. Not just how we think they are, or our wounds , our egos, our mental survival programs do. Take a step back into our observer selves so to speak and give ourselves a moment to feel into what's REALLY going on.


So, if you haven't heard from someone when you think you should've, maybe reach out and ask them (maybe via another communication medium) how they are? If they saw something you posted? If they are ok (maybe they're not?) Where they're at? What they mean? What they need too? Maybe give them the benefit of the doubt on innocence until proven guilty. Because it's worth remembering that yes, social media, DOES connect us in many ways, but it's also wired NOT to in many ways to encourage you to have to pay. And it would be sad to miss or let the right people go for the wrong reasons, don't you think? Unless they really are the "wrong fit." But then are we all just becoming a bunch of self driven, instant gratification seeking narcissists who're forgetting the basic skills our Grandparents ruled it at in maintaining long term connection? One has to wonder.

Either way, it's the perfect time of year, where most of us have both a golden opportunity to create connection professionally through sharing a little love and gratitude with our existing networks to let them know how awesome they are and how much we care. And where we're personally about to have plenty of time to create connection and reconnect with the ones we love the most in life. How can you make the most of your non screen time as well as screen time to build more connection this holiday season? If you're breathing, it's never too late to say all those loving things you wish you had've said earlier when you had the chance. (Who knows how many misconceived Facebook unfriendings might get undone in the process....hehehe ;-)

Nat xxoo