Have you ever noticed how deeply resistant we are to being joyful in every moment? If someone shows up next to us and we're like "how are you today?" And they are all like "OMG, HI! I'm SOOOO freaking high on life right now! WHOOO! [queue Tony Robbins style roar of enthusiasm] people so often all look at each other like you have some form of mental problem. What is our resistance to living with passion and intensity?
Notice this week in conversation where the baseline of human connection starts with "hey, how are you?" "So so, this just sucked, like those other 10 things that also sucked and always suck", "oh that's terrible, I feel for you." (E.g. empathy as connection as the default pattern on one side, in response to the recurring emotional state of acknowledging struggle on the another.) And how often the baseline of human connection in conversation is "hey, how are you?" "I'm great!" "Hey, me too!" "Really? Whoo hoo! Why are you great? "Because of this!" "Awesome! Why are you great?l" "Because of this!" "Whoo hoo!" [queue roar of delight and delightful giggles of celebration]. It is of course totally normal for us to all have moments of both in life. To need and ask for support in the down moments. And as Practitioners part of our job can be supporting people through the down moments, to experience more "whoo hoo" moments. But for that, we first need to be able to embody that in ourselves. And to be able to do that, we first need to be able to spot the sabotage in ourselves. So it's useful to consider, do we have a default in conversation and relating? What is it? And how is it impacting the quality and expansion of our relationships?
Part of having a more joyful life is noticing how these habits of blocking joy, passion and our intensity play out in our relationships at work and at play. Is there any resistance sitting within you to shining in your own joyful celebration of life and expressing it in front of others, in connection with others? Are you allowing the states of others to dictate your own expression of your inner happy, your inner glass full glass of gratitude and desire to love and celebrate all moments of life? Dare I say it, do you ever find yourself resistant to the expression of joy and celebration by those around you you love? And withdrawing or taking a verbal swing at them to bring them back to where feels more comfortable and less threatening? What if we only know how to connect in sad moments?" What if they get too happy, or we get too happy or successful, and then someone has to leave? But then there's always the other possibility...What if they didn't? Because we agreed to love life and live with passionate intensity together, calling each other out on our joy-sabotaging shenanigans? In truth, in connecting deeply with others, personally or professionally, deep connection can actually happen at either extreme of the ecstatic moments or the big "lean on me" moments.
So how can we better support each other to be more joyful and live with more passionate expression, more of the time? In our friendships? Families? Relationships? Working Relationships?
I'm all for living with "f@#$ yes!" intensity. When we allow ourselves to flow with this and express, it everything in life gets better. And in giving ourselves permission to shine brighter in our lives, not only do we give those we love permission to do the same, but everyone who comes through our business too. And then we all have more energy for life and all the things we love and to manifest and create the things we're here to create. Hands up if you want a bit more of that juicy goodness? You do? Good me too. And stay tuned, because there will be a workshop space in November where you can explore and unleash a bit of this too.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.