I hope you’ve had an interesting and peaceful week for those of you in school holiday mode right now. I’ve had an interesting one doing those terribly fun things you do when you’re transferring life and work related registrations interstate….this whole jumping aboard the NSW train is all getting pretty real now. Earlier in the week, I had set up a few meetings, interviews and events to go to..
Mid week I found myself at one, at one point, pulling an impromptu 5 min sales presentation out of my butt on an imaginary service I just invented and delivered it to a group of like minded peeps, also interested in making a difference in the world, we all did in fact. I’m always my biggest critic and I’m judging to the level of the part of me that once beat 750 other people to get into performing arts school, so I thought maybe that was ok for someone with my level of Training and Business and Sales Mentoring experience, was a bit nervous, might’ve looked a bit flat. After the facilitators left the room for a bit, the room started to chat. After a few bits of feedback to each other and the nearest neighbours on theirs, and me to mine, it was like the whole room all at once, in sync turned to me with the OMG face, to tell me that they thought mine was freaking amazing, how did I do that, it was so real, I was so confident, what’s my background?” …and suddenly I’m feeling myself with an audience attuned to my every word, like the elder at story time, asking for Mentoring (which I’m conscious of NOT doing in someone else’s space, because, well, it’s their space). In truth, for a group of people pretty new to this, I thought they did remarkably in fact and I told them that too as the Facilitators returned. Fifteen minutes later, I get offered a contract. And on the way out the door with the group, every single person was wanting to connect next week or soon for public speaking and sales mentoring. If I’d been asking for signs in the lead up to the new moon this week about what elements of training and experience I should add to my re-launch plan from September, I think that was a fairly decisive indicator.
What is it that we do in our "inner game" so to speak that helps us shift from that initial fear and uncertainty, to eventually being able to deliver a short piece like that with positive impact and this perceived level of expertise? I was interviewed by a colleague for a podcast last week, in which I was talking about the internal and external transformations start up business owners go through in putting themselves out there in the early stages of business and stepping into their personal leadership. In that podcast, I talk about my journeys both in the performing arts realm in initially getting on stage for performance purposes and about my later journey when it first came to speaking in the Wellness and Personal Development Industries at a professional level. About both the challenges that I personally had to grow through, along with the mindset, healing and practical strategies I implemented to build my confidence and resilience in putting myself, my wisdom and message out there on a bigger scale, as a leader and speaker. There’s a bit of insight on why what I delivered this week hit the mark in there and it will go live next Friday. Stay tuned to my Facebook or She Lives a Life She Loves page for updates this week if you’d like to check it out.
As i reflected upon some of the other mindset shifts that i've either shared with start up clients in recent years or that i felt have made a difference for me personally in how i show up on stage over the years, here's another 3 inner game insights i'd add:
No 1: Always approach every single opportunity to speak with both gratitude and respect for both the opportunity and the people in the room. Part of the gratitude to them is cultivating your ability to be present to and recognise the uniqueness and amazing potential of each person sitting in that audience. The more you can stand on a stage, connected to your heart and soul and look at any one of them from that place, the more they feel like you really see them and are talking straight to them, before you've even opened your mouth with relevant content.
No 2: Let go of your attachment to giving a shit what people think of you. The more of authentic you you put out there, the more some people are going to fall in love with you the more they learn about and see you and the more the others who don’t gel with you (or aren’t ready to pick up either what you’re putting down or to grab the boomerang of projection they just threw at you) will self select out, declaring to people, I don’t know what it is about her/him, but I just don’t like them. Maybe some days you’ll speak and everyone will say that you rocked it. And some days you will speak and learn from it. What’s most important of all though at the end of the day is what you think of you. That’s the one thing you always have complete and total control over. What can you reassure yourself with that helps you believe that you belong there? Last but certainly not least,
No 3: Every time you step onto a stage, online or live, learn to own that space like you belong there and take up space like what you say is worthy of being heard. When you vow to give it your everything and do your best to be of service, it also becomes easier to believe that you belong there. I like to remind myself too (this is slightly hippy whoo whoo) that If you’ve created or been offered that opportunity, remember too, you have a soul contract with all of the people there to be of service in delivering what you know that they came to hear. So in that respect, you’re not just showing up where you belong, but in every respect embracing your destiny and the potential of who you came here to be. So every time going forward now that you step onto a stage, any stage, own that stage, take up that space like you belong there. The more you speak and the more your audiences share their experience of you with you, the more you too will come to believe it.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.