all on the move, little old intuitive me, who has often tended to know well in advance (or she thinks she does) when the next one, the next opportunity, was about to arrive, and then you have to be all "just be cool chick, stay in the present moment, that's still just a potential outcome....STAY.....IN THE MOMENT....AND....JUST....CHILL....OUT! Yet I'd somehow felt a little bit blindsided lately feeling the most tremendous pull back into the realm of padlocks on bridges again, even though I'd very much started the year with my heart on my sleeve, re-embracing that part of me that was willing to fly 3 states for what i love and love, for the stuff I'd been healing, at the same time I was seriously starting to doubt that I can be me, all of me and that possibility at any point be a reality. Warning: potential side effects of lots of no's from people who've been in your world many many years may generate this side affect.
Admittedly, it's been a huge year, few years of woman leader life lessons. And how to be, fully empowered and in integrity in teaching women the 17 (at present) things I think all aspiring Women in the Wellness (and NFP realm) I've done my 10000+ hours in need to know to realise their full leadership potential, on this planet at this time, to be successful in building connection in their personal world, with their growing tribes, with the people they will partner and collaborate with, not just for a season while somebody wants something, but what IS the way in which we can keep growing together over a lifetime? When we want to? And it feels right to?
Some of the questions i've asked myself over the last several years:
How do we stay humble and grounded, and yet own the moments of achievement, where you were say, managed other people's clinics and business, managed and helped build successful teams, were a part of a team of 8 other Wellness Business Mentors and 50% of the testimonials from recent program rounds on a website for a program launch that made two people their first million in partnership, were from clients you personally mentored, who you talked to often as their CRM, as a part of CRM platforms you designed, project managed and then others took over from, that paved the way for said people to have that level of success? Where you've done the EM and EPM that helped someone apparently, it would seem, continue their/your actually shared 7 figure streak, while everyone in the team keeps pointing at you being the reason for higher attendance, highest ever application calls post event, best ever conversion and revenue, people walking off stage feeling the best, most energised they've ever felt presenting together...EVER, when your energy and event managing the space. BUT then successfully transfer all that service, that skill into your own leadership? Into credit to your own name even? Into building your own tribe to equal magnitude?
At some point you have to just be able to own the fact that you did it, and get ok with sharing about it, in the same way you would be asked to explain in a job interview about your greatest achievements, to accurately represent what you are capable of. To own what you've been taught and what you know in your own right AND be supported in independently stepping into your own "genius" to consult, to coach, to train, to speak, to write as an expert on how to do the very things you can do and get paid like one too, by those who value and can pay you for it. In collaboration, not isolation, from others. At what point CAN you call yourself that expert in something? How do you stay resilient in holding space for yourself and surrounding yourself with the support you need to just get busy repeating those for yourself, in a world where there's no shortage of people waiting to try and rip you back down and discredit your credibility? What do you do when you outgrow your teachers and they start to perceive you as a threat? How do you own your genius and stay integral and STILL be able to connect with people from that place? How to you come back into collaboration after times of independent growth and not then surrender away your power to fit in? These are the questions I asked myself over the years. Through the high moments and the ones where you're doing all the work building the new foundations and waiting on the cash flow to catch up. Like planting seeds in a garden, you just have to keep doing the processes, knowing that it will sprout before too long when you do.
I know i'm not alone in having thought these kind of thoughts...i've talked to thousands of leaders and aspiring leaders with the same fears. How do we smash through the glass ceiling and then build your newfound floor upon it? At some point, you just have to stop giving a sh%$ what other people think, and just own it and get busy just doing it. Yes some people will think you're an ass for it, but are they really the ones here to support you to be all of who you're here to be? To deliver on your life purpose and all your soul contracts? Maybe not. Maybe you need to hire a team of security peeps to keep them away from swinging at your newfound floor. One might do that by staying in their heart, grounded in your intention and sending all those people a whole lot of love.
How do you deal with the power struggles that happen when you at times, might know more than your teachers, or outgrow your teachers? How do you accept with grace the stuff you don't want to, but need to hear to grow and change? How do you deal with the relationship, the friendship, and family conflicts that can happen when you raise the self love bar and draw more energy into your purpose, when at times it means you can then no longer fulfil the purpose they had in mind for you (consciously or unconsciously)? When they take it like that means you don't love them? That you don't respect them? That you don't want them around? How do you set healthy boundaries that DO honour your time with those you love? And your work "baby/babies/toddlers/teenagers/grown adult projects" too?
How do we navigate our relationship with the masculine to ensure that we can both be our highest potential in connection? And both feel loved and supported how we want to be? So that he can give you the amazing provider gifts and wisdom he wants to as a part of his way of loving you, but while you get to be independent and self sufficient and self directed too? Without needing to be rescued, with out having to only be subservient to do exactly what he wants, how he wants when he says he wants it because he said so (blind followship IS NOT LEADERSHIP) YET feel free and mutually respected in asking each other for help in completing this thing you'd like to be done and you think needs to be done to achieve "X?" How do you, as a woman, respectfully bring your intuition to the table and lovingly suggest another way when you can see another possibility?
How do we relate with the feminine and be our highest potential too? To ensure we both feel, loved, honoured, respected and met? To deal with the lack thinking that, at the lower end of the business spectrum, sees at times women step away from each other when we start to be perceived as the competition, as a rival for clients, attention, limited time and resources, dare I say it, for the love and attention of other men in the equation? How do we come into our highest potential in praising our sisters, in celebrating and being excited for their wins, as much as being able to be celebrated by them, without making it about our own insecurities? How do we build our own self worth and resilience to be able to rise above and be able to connect and collaborate and support with love from this place? To go into deep, ongoing padlock type friendship and collaboration, that sees us grow every stronger and lift each other higher, or even better hold space for her to raise HERSELF higher? While being true to who she is, who she's here to be, her service, her lifestyle, her love and those she loves? You too?
These are the kind of challenges we need to overcome to be able to stand side by side, men and women as Leaders, with deep honour and respect and each take our turn at the front of the stage, when it's our time to talk and to be honouring when it's our time to listen. Not always easy, in a world where humans have always had a hierarchal structure of organising themselves, where dynamics haven't always yet been conditioned in that direction and we are leading the way, creating the templates of HOW it can be done, with maximum love and ease, and ideally minimal tears.
Admittedly, I've cried so many times this last few years trying to find a way that I could be me without having to withdraw and lone wolf it to BE free to be me, intending to not hurt anyone while i healed and found the answers to those questions. But then, for me, that's why a zillion packlocking signs lately , after one ending and some moments of doubt, as a reminder of what ELSE is possible in connection and collaboration. Is it really possible (for anyone) to be them, to have success, to make a difference, to have the love, the health, the lifestyle and be able to honour those you love and respect the most and lead in the way you feel called to? Yes. And if you feel it in your heart, if you feel called to co-create it, then of course it is. On some level, it's your destiny, it's already done and now you just have to work out HOW you did it. But you might have to get out of your own way to be able to create it, you might have to let go of more than a few ideas about how you think it should look or be in order to achieve it. And you might have to cop a bit of shit from those who don't think your worthy of or entitled to it. I've lost a lot of people I did my best to love while trying to navigate all this along the way. But a King and a Queen are also patient, they know that things sometimes take time to unfold, that it doesn't all have to unfold right this second, they know that people might come and go along the way and that others might be here to stay and that you jump on planes for those that would be willing to jump on planes for you, as well as to connect with the new.
When i'd been tuning in about business and how I can be of service each day lately and what I need to do now to connect all the bits....I kept getting "define the man, go define how you want to be loved!" (trusting that whatever I am is going to be the manifestation of whatever has been asked for on the other side) and let that flow out into the foundations of all areas of life. And of course really, the values that underly what we want in relationship, often also underly how we want to be treated and be of service in ALL aspects of life...business, leadership, family, romantic, friendship. So it's good to reflect on the packlocky paradigm every now and then and get clear about your intentions.
To remember what it's like to be that AND have, to rebuild a solid long term foundation from which to be of service, from which to create everything in life, with those people who feel the call to build it with you. And THEN, then to (as I've done this last couple of years) adventure out into the world and do your thing. Sometimes we all need a bit more of the unbreakable padlock depths to succeed. Especially us single ones. Sometimes finding the way we can have BOTH the stability, the groundedness, the committedness AND the adventure, for those we love AND all those we will partner with and serve in business, IS part of the pathway to further fulfilment and success. That and finding awesome Mentors and support people to help us through all those questions! Locks, life lessons, leadership and love. Amazing how all those things intertwine.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.