And other values that are some of the foundational stones of modern-day success.
HONESTY, TRANSPARENCY, INTEGRITY and RESPONSIBILITY
In Business and Leadership, you don’t have to lie, manipulate and omit whole aspects of truth and reality to get people on board for your ANYTHING, product, program, cause or otherwise.
If you understand and are aware of the value of a product or service you’ve used or experienced and genuinely LOVE, you sharing your honest to God experience of why it’s so awesome, why you really love it and how it’s solved yours or others known annoying problems, and or supports their goals and aspirations, sharing this openly speaks for itself.
Then when people ask you questions about it, about the process, the logistics, about how it will work for them personally, answer them honestly. You don’t need to try and hide the down moments or potential side effects, or the challenges that might also come up along the way, or the realistic timelines, or your level of experience. In fact, the more REAL you can be ABOUT those moments and how you and your team support people to successfully NAVIGATE them, the BETTER.
If you’re in a learning phase or wanting to get something new tested up and running, it’s FINE to tell people that and allow them the possibility of choosing to engage in the process with you. I’m an avid believer in that, no matter where you are on the journey in life, on a planet with 7 billion plus people, there’s always a whole bunch of people perfectly suited to exactly where you’re at right now. Who would be happy to DO that process with you in exchange for whatever terms you set out and agree upon together. For whatever price you feel is integral for where you’re at (and that will change over time anyway as you evolve.)
When people ask you about your own success, past, or present, tell them and let the right ones who can be ok with that CHOOSE you. When people ask me how long it will take for them to have success, I do my best within my knowledge to give it to them straight. I’m the last person, simultaneously, who wants to rain on people’s parades of potential by putting limiting beliefs, doubts or conditions on anyone that hold them back or restrict what they THINK they can then achieve. And I tell them that and that I’m here to hold the space for the BEST possible outcome and their highest potential to be realised.
But then I honestly communicate, based on X number of factors like
(as just a few things), those things make the difference between you starting to get momentum in 90 days or being like some of the now world-leading Marketing experts that openly tell you it took some of them 8 years and millions of dollars spent on market research and product testing on their online offerings as one example, to get to where they are now; a point that has perpetual motion. While others have nailed it freakishly fast.
I recommend you adopt the same level of radical honesty because I KNOW it works and, is one of the foundations of true success.
As part of your commitment to radical honesty, and avoiding playing into the paradigm of fear and lack based manipulation:
As a Billionaire tech start-up investor I was talking to last year on a plane said to me and I agree, the old 90’s forceful NLP loaded sales-fest way of doing things is DEAD. The NEW way is based on radical honesty, respect and service based on sharing what you know, doing your best to lead by example, being true to your values…and as a part of a collaborative TEAM of support at that. To give value, WITH a viable pathway of follow-on support available at the ready SHOULD a person wish to continue to further access your expertise and support, they can.
It’s STILL about learning how to communicate WELL and BUILD trust and connection, but WITH THE RIGHT INTENTION of HIGHEST GROWTH AND SERVICE. NOT to manipulate influence, based on a lack of trust that people would CHOOSE to follow YOU out of all others out there, attempting to coerce participation based on fear over FAITH that people would willingly CHOOSE you and your offering over others, if you put all of you and the truth on the table.
It’s time to stop spending time and energy learning and DOING 90’s style NLP based BREAKTHROUGH trying to wear down the WRONG PEOPLE and to instead ask, how and where can you put yourself in front of more of the RIGHT ones? The ones who are a SOULFUL MATCH to the REAL you. You’ll know them when you see each other because you’ll FEEL like soul mates. And then, if need be, any breakthrough is just to work out any “life” circumstantial kinks in the way that are probably more about WHEN they start, HOW it will work, and HOW MUCH, not to mention self belief, worthiness and staying focused on their own vision…..life really DOES start to get SO much easier when you start trusting life to align you with the right people and possibilities.
Living into our integrity is also being willing to take feedback on, self reflect and be self-responsible for how you showed up prior and your growth in showing up going forward. But balancing that with also learning to discern when well meaning feedback might also qualify as misplaced projection of someone’s past stuff and to let it pass through to the keeper when it does.
Having close colleagues and Supervisors/Mentors who can tell it like it is to our faces are great for helping us soundboard through those feedback moments. But as a close friend once said to me, choosing to surround yourself with ONLY people who'll tell you what you want to hear, actually keeps you small and makes you WEAK because it’s running from the possibility of growth that lies as the gift within ALL challenges that come to our way of thinking, being and believing.
We’re in serious accountability trouble as Leaders and humans if we start writing off ALL feedback as projection, out of self protection and REFUSING to be accountable. That's when, as Coaches and Human Service professionals, we become potentially Hazardous to the health of the very people we wish to serve.
Leaders self-reflect, own their stuff and reflect on their mistakes when they have to. And they’re brave enough to wear the public stoning for their past sins if they have to. No one said it’s going to be FUN to go through. But you won’t die, only your ego will. (Said by someone who’s ego has publicly died enough times to know.) In the end, all we can ever do is our best. Our best to live in line with our values and be in alignment with our highest potential and our best to show up for and to deliver on what we promise to others.
In an industry like holistic wellness, which is already well and truly under the microscope of scientific and ethical scrutiny, as I said to my Women’s Leadership community recently, there has NEVER been a time where it is MORE important in this industry to BE committed to BEING HONEST, TRANSPARENT, INTEGRAL and SELF RESPONSIBLE in ALL of our dealings, personal and professional. But it’s just as relevant to the business realms still dominated by men and service based businesses across the board, isn’t it really? Perhaps someone can forward this to Australian Liberal Party HQ right now. Just kidding…..but not really.
May we all find the support we need to never have to surrender our values or forget our long-term legacies, in the name of short term gains. May we all be supported to reach our highest potential.
Until next time….
Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.