Have you noticed how much stuff that once deeply troubled you is resolving very organically right now? Are you feeling the internal shifts about stuff you might have long forgotten about, or seeing people show up for conversations you thought you'd never have right now? For so long, women, and now men too are speaking out, when life is requiring it, to call out injustice. But have you ever noticed how often we get caught up in communicating about what pissed us off, without really having any idea what we want instead? What do you really want instead? What kind of connection do you really want with the people involved, or whoever comes next, instead? In order to co-create it, we must get clear what collaboration and unity really looks like in the relationships we wish to improve. And if we're are to heal global and individual traumas of all magnitudes, we have to be able to envision what the healing process and journey beyond might look like.
The beautiful thing about the healthy masculine too is, if you drop into your heart, appreciate it, and ask it to show up, when the times get tough, or it needs to step up, the healthy masculine gets going and then shows up and says, oh yes, so tell me my dear, what do you need? What do you want? Because i'm here for you. And when its combined with the healthy feminine, its patient and compassionate and empathetic to the time it can take to grow and heal.
At this critical time on the planet, where so many people are outraged by abuses wanting to play them selves out through certain individuals who've made their global ambitions and agendas pretty clear, the counter response is as many men in the hearts as women are stepping up and saying, ok then, so how can i stay in for this evolution, this conversation and support you? Plus others? What does love really look like and what does it want to do through us right now?
In order not to miss the good that's unfolding, we need to not get stuck with our focus on what WAS. We need to show up for and allow the evolution of the global conversation and the individual conversations to each's next phase. The timing of the movie below is the perfect example of a global exclamation point in the conversation about what this world wants beyond the abuse traumas of the past.
**Word of warning: if you're either not in a state right now to engage in a conversation about abuse OR planning to see the next 50 shades movie and DONT want to hear more about either, please be warned that this is what the next paragraph is about....
Even yesterday, going to watch the new 50 Shades Darker movie...if yesterday and earlier in the week i'd written posts about Christian's wounded psychology with further calls to "its time to own your shit" ...guess what, in movie no 2, that's exactly what happens. The healthy feminine and masculine shows up, everybody gets brought to account, Christian owns it all and goes all in for love and they find a way to work out EVERYTHING minus the abuse he played out at the end of movie 1 and while trying to help everyone heal the effects of all that abuse. Half the world asked the healthy feminine and masculine to show up in this movie....and it did. Along with a few plot lines to help make it really clear what consensual exploration looks like verses what abuse and its affects looks like. And even, though its a little unrealistic in its timeline and speed maybe (he's still got to cope somehow the next time business happens or when the honeymoon relationship phase wears off and they fight and he feels helpless and out of control and in 2 hours we don;t get to see all of that), this movie just become an exclamation point in the global envisioning of what the recovery journeys of both victim and perpetrator might start to look like, by seeing how fast Christian learns from and grows from Anastasia's insights and seeing how it might look when we trust in the good in people beyond their mistakes and they thrive for our love and belief in them and getting the support they need to heal. It's an important plot point in the global conversation. I don't know about you, but i sure as hell needed to see that right now and based on that, wont be boycotting this movie.
And more than that, i'd add, this kind of recovery is not to be written off as just fantasy. Over the last year in particular, while showing up for the healing of my own past abuses and traumas and to take responsibility for what i can heal and change, I've repeatedly been blessed with seeing what it looks like in real life to successfully give up problematic behaviours and build an amazing life, career and healthy relationships beyond a drinking problem, beyond the adult reenactment of childhood abuse. There are amazing men and women out there doing the work. I've worked with them, I've lived with them, i've listened to their TED talks, I've healed because of them and despite the victims turned perpetrators in my world that weren't ready to own their side of the problem and show up for the conversation of "what now" and to envision something better.
So my advice to you right now, while there is shit going on in the world, and individual stuff going on for us apparently over this next two weeks between eclipses of completion of all the old wounds and global abuses, keep your eyes peeled for the gifts, the potential healing and the incredible opportunities that are wanting to show up right now beyond the learnings of the past and where it might be beneficial and healing, if at times challenging, to stay present for those individual and global conversations. For the record, i'm not saying stay in and tolerate abuse when one may genuinely be at risk and in danger, I'm saying, if they've owned it, if you share the same values, they're genuinely committed out of love to doing better and we've all learned our lessons, how can we then show up next time, with faith and belief in each other as to what is possible beyond that moment? And what do we now want and need instead? It happens when we envision it and agree to work towards and embody that vision together, starting individually, and then the positive ripples spread and spread and spread. The time we need to start going all in, is now.
What are your thoughts on this? Feel free to share them below.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
Nat talks about Self Expression, Heart Centred Communication and Lifestyle for Leaders.