Natalie Ferrier | Actress | Artist | Communication Skills Coach | Speaker | Writer
  • Home
  • About
    • TESTIMONIALS
    • Casting Networks Profile
  • Blog
Thoughts from the

Nativerse

Picture

Conflict Busting 101. Staying in the moment and communicating with love.

2/20/2017

Comments

 

​Ever seen two people you love talking at each other, rather than to each other? Ever felt like that's been you? Here's a few tips to drastically improve your communication so that all involved feel met and understood.
I've been really noticing this week in the course of life and just listening to random people's daily conversations, even online ones, how is it that two beautiful, ginormous heart connected people, can so quickly go from a conversation where they truly understand one another, to almost having two completely separate conversations, separated by a wall of frustration? 

In that listening have you ever seen with couples particularly how one person is saying one thing and the other person is just totally  talking over the top of them, completely missing the point or even that the other person already gave them the answer they were seeking? And then they just work each other up into more and more frustration, all because they're not stopping to actually be really present in the moment and give 100% of their attention to what is really being said in that moment? As much as they are in their head, responding from their mental construct of how they think it is in that moment, constructing legal defense or the previously rehearsed version of what they wanted to perhaps communicate in this conversation (or one like it, as healing old wounds may dictate) holding their egos ground to prove a point like ones life depends on it, but in the process missing the reality of what is really unfolding in the moment, between these two beautiful people, and their ginormous hearts? 


If we stop and truly attune to what is really going on with the other person in that moment, to what that person is really trying to communicate with their words, with their body language with their tone of voice, with their energy, they'd be having a completely different conversation. 


One where they truly heard each other and felt with their hearts and souls what the other is truly trying to say. Listening and communication...not just a mental thing! But good listening, is a whole body thing. Bringing 100% awareness (or as much as possible anyway) means not just listening with your ears, but with every cell of your being, allowing your focus to travel out to the other to meet them, feeling in yourself for what they're feeling and putting out, or not putting out as may be the case. Watching the way their posture changes, their breath changes, their facial expression, what they pause or stumble on, what they smile or laugh or light up at, and most importantly of all, what their eyes tell you that nothing else does. 


It's pretty hard to argue with someone, when you look them in the eyes, with your heart and reach out to their heart. So many conflicts in my life I've stopped in their tracks right there with that one move alone. "I see you, I feel you, I love you, how do we meet half way?" Truly showing up heart to heart, dissolves all that mental "stuff". So many relationships too, got so long delayed, from missing what was really being said in those moments. Of course I've been as guilty of these things as every one of those people I saw. 


Timely reminder, isn't it, in the sharing of this, for us all, to really be there in our hearts and our bodies as best we can in our communications in all moments. But it requires trust too, doesn't it? It's vulnerable too, communicating from that place. Letting down the wall and trusting the other to be gentle with us when we're connecting to that place.  But the stronger our sense of self I find, the easier it is to show up in that space without fear. And to navigate our focus and our energy in and out of connection with that person as daily life may require. 

And the beautiful thing is, this works not just in person, but online too. You can attune to and feel for what the person writing that post and those words is really feeling and really saying, beyond whatever triggers us....so....damn...much! Sometimes they're not as far apart from us as we first think, and more than that, we might even be saying, experiencing or valuing even the same thing underneath all that projection and assumption. Always pays to back up what you're getting with a question to confirm that they really mean what you think it is that they mean. All make sense?

Until next time, have fun take care, chat soon.

Nat xx

Comments

    Writer

    Welcome to my ongoing stream of conscious  thoughts on topics like living a life we love, creativity, authentic self expression and meaningful human connection.

    Archives

    March 2025
    October 2024
    September 2024
    August 2024
    June 2024
    May 2024
    April 2024
    March 2024
    January 2024
    December 2023
    November 2023
    October 2023
    September 2023
    August 2023
    July 2023
    June 2023
    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    March 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    August 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015

    Categories

    All

    RSS Feed

We are for diversity, inclusivity, fair acknowledgement and compensation of individual work,  sustainability and the environment and treating others with kindness and respect.

​We acknowledge the Traditional Custodians of the land on which we gather, live and work. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present and extend that respect to Aboriginal and Torres Straight Islander people present.
 © Copyright 2025 Natalie Ferrier
All Rights Reserved

Contact

​Unit 7
​59-61 Dee Why Parade
Dee Why NSW 2099
M +61 427 449 005
​
ABN  
56 494 140 334    

Terms

 Disclaimer
Privacy Policy
Terms & Conditions
  • Home
  • About
    • TESTIMONIALS
    • Casting Networks Profile
  • Blog