This week on my Facebook page, you might have seen i was talking about how to go deeper with all we started last week in "love" week. Just in case you missed it, you can catch up on the week that was here:
In the process of going a bit deeper and getting extra busy pursuing a few of my loves this week, I found myself getting a little reminder about the importance of being able to say not only a hell yes to the things we want and love in life, but sometimes also the need to be really clear in our boundaries when competing demands for our attention, gifts and service arise in life. If you're anything like me, you probably want to help everyone and see everyone get what they need and don't want to let anyone you care about down. But sometimes we can't do it all. And sometimes opportunities that come up aren't quite right for us and maybe we shouldn't try and do it all. Maybe we don't (yet) have the resources to do it all. But, maybe, just maybe, in such circumstances, with several billion people on the planet, if we can be open to it, maybe there's someone else perfect for the job that can step in to help or do the job when either we're too tired, too overloaded or when some part of us knows that we really actually, to be totally honest, actually don't want to do that thing we were just asked to do. Yet sometimes, even when we know we're a no, we still say yes. Why do we do that?
What are some of the common reasons we women struggle with setting boundaries and saying no in our service based businesses, in our leadership roles, in life? To be honest, I worry we could be here for a month if I went into the extensive list of all I've seen in my work to date. But in the video below are a few of the more common reasons..Along with a few suggestions on how we can get better at it and still have others and us get what we want in life. Who doesn't want that?
What are the benefits of us being clear about our needs, our wants and our boundaries and communicating them effectively? Of being able to say no and delegate tasks, with the trust that everyone will still be looked after and met, to the high standard we would want? For one, we get paid properly and make the progression from "survive" (wether through giving too much for free, or putting in too much overtime) into thriving in our business. Which then affords us the opportunity to help even more people, plus the funds to have the quality of life we love and desire, plus the standard of health and balanced lifestyle we need to have to keep doing what we love. Also, the more aware of and authentic we are in expressing our truth and needs, the more we can align with the right people and opportunities for us, a well as be supported by the people we're already in connection with, personally and professionally.
Plus if you're an aspiring Speaker or Writer or Workshop Facilitator wanting to share your Thoughtleadership or services with the world or you're in some other position of leadership in which you desire to lead by example, the quicker we can get over our shit about saying no and standing by our truth, our integrity and our boundaries, the faster we can get out there successfully engaging with more people by way of being confident in our ability to handle any potential opposition that comes our way, on any stage, in any relationship (personal or professional), with love. Again, I say, who doesn't want that?
Check out the video above to find out more about one of the single quickest ways to build your confidence in lovingly saying yes and no get better at living by your own boundary code.
Lord knows all of this is forever one of my areas of greatest learning. If it is for you too, feel free to drop my a message about your challenges in this area and how you overcome them. If you need some extra support, maybe we can nut it out together :-)
That's it for me for this week. I hope you've had a wonderful, a relaxing weekend and until next time, have fun, take care.
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