In this industry, people often ask me why it is that I do what I do and how I got onto this path of helping women get past their biggest blocks to shine in their biggest brightest selves, make a difference and create businesses and lives they love.
And of course occasionally the anticipated question, with the stern face of discernment, of what it is that makes me qualified to do what I do (apart from the long list of "industry approved" qualifications). For a lot of years I was terribly scared of that question. Scared that if I told people the real version, they’d look at me and think, wow if you went through all that, you must be pretty pathetic or worse and they’d decide everything I was and what I’ve been through was too much for them and they’d depart before we’d even really begun, on any level we were meant to begin... as clients, colleagues, friends, and possibly the scariest prospect of all in my mind, lovers.
Yet there are times in my life where I've felt a little bit like this tree.
Times in my life where i should've broken my back in that 12th fall off my horse or after having been dropped from that height but didn't and then wondered how on earth, like this above tree, I was seemingly defying the laws of physics to be existing....obviously wasn't mean to go out that way.
And then there was another set of times. The really hard times. Moments where I’d been beaten and sexually assaulted to the point of hysteria by my childhood best friends, where I’d watched my Mother vomit and cry literally liquifiying before our eyes like in some horror movie when the Oncologists went a little overboard on the experimental Chemo in the months before she died, and the moment standing by her bed 5 mins after she did, 2 days before my 9th Birthday, confronting cancer, death and near death over and over again in my family over and over in my teenage and adult years, moments where I’d been raped by friends, kicked, elbowed, stood on and fallen on by drunk partners and learned to fiercely and later lovingly stand my ground, moments where I'd become so untrusting and withdrawn from the world, so afraid of asking for help and the abusive conditions that might go with it, I’d choose living alone or risk becoming homeless over experiencing more abuse or along with any form of incoming support. Or to avoid worst of all, more rejection of the real me, warts and all, or hurting anyone with my burden.
Moments where I fell down and wondered if it was even worth getting back up if this was my life. Moments where I could've just checked out, could've lost myself entirely in drinking my brains out and taking drugs, and mindlessly, unconsciously screwing my brains out to escape, and once i later learned how, spent all my time in Reiki land, or escaping straight out the top of my crown chakra into Tantric blissful universal oneness.
But ultimately in every one of those moments crying on my hands and knees, I did get back up. I've dug deep and found the reasons why I refused to give up in those moments, committed once again to living a life I love and using that experience to, over the last 9 years, help hundreds of other people who’d been through life’s traumas and challenges get through them and help others too and then out the other side of that to the Love Live Lead philosophy of just living love.
So I teach women how to get through their blocks and step into their power and shine because I've lived every minute of what I teach.
In truth, these days, I tell even a bit of my story to people and they tell me I'm like that tree. And that is why I can now look any client in the eyes when they tell me their doubts and fears and limitations and tell them with complete conviction that I truly believe that absolutely anything is possible for them to heal from and or overcome and there's nothing they can dream of that they can't achieve...its just a matter of how long and do you really want it enough to hang in there to create on this Earth what your Soul keeps calling you to.
And thus was final thought, after a weekend standing in a room with some incredibly lovely people, helping another world leader who definitely believes in achieving the impossible be his awesome self, in between being mine, for Achieve the Impossible Week.