Picture you’re driving along and you come to a hill. And as you look over the edge, you see the road leads down into a gully. There’s a bridge, before the road then leads up and out the other side. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a car or on a bike or skateboard. As you drive into the dip, you pick up speed and the speed takes you a long way up and out the other side. At the very top of the other side, you might need to accelerate, or peddle or push a little to keep moving along the road on the other side. The process of grieving a loss associated with any form of life transition is no different. When you go with the flow of the process, the momentum naturally takes you all the way through it and up and out the other side, aligned and ready for something new. It’s only when we don’t trust the process, when the fear of what’s on the other side starts to kick in that we try and stop at the top before the descent into the gully or throw the breaks on at the bottom that we lose momentum or get stuck in the sometimes foggy depths, in the bridge between the old and the new, wondering which way is up and out.
That last little bit of acceleration out is our motivation. It’s connecting with our deepest calling, with our desire for new experience on the other side. Sometimes, for all the fog at the bottom, we need a bit of help reconnecting with what that looks like and then tapping our innate drive and belief to go after it. These tips below are here to help with exactly that.
In the wise words of Madonna, Express Yourself
When we separate from people or things, projects we dearly love that were right for a time, but aren’t now because one or both of you have moved in different directions, it’s normal and natural to go through a whole gamete of emotions. As much as we might wish to, we can’t clear them all with any modality without having to be human for a moment at some point and connect with them and feel them, so that they can flow.
So if your creative flow, your clarity of direction or your motivation is feeling stuck and your surrounded by the fog. It is worth asking, is there anything I'm holding back from expressing? Ask your consciousness and then feel for what within you've numbed yourself to. Go towards that pain, that numbness, that lack of appetite and ask it what it wants. Acknowledging it and being willing to let it express is like taking the breaks off. Then we need to nurture and love ourselves through whatever moves (and maybe if it feels right, let others support us through it too) so that we can start healing and create a mindset and a story around the experience that helps us move forward with lessons accepted and appreciated, forgiveness of self and others achieved, personal power recalled and whole.
Revisit the times you were last living and loving life
While staying with our attention fixed on the road behind and the past for too long, continuing to agonise over what went wrong can be counterproductive to us moving on, there are also some times when taking a visit back to a certain town on the road of life where things were going really well for you prior to this point in time can be really helpful in helping you remember yourself, remember what you need, remember what you love.
Think Kevin Spacey in American Beauty. Not so much the bit where he blackmails Brad "the Efficiency Guy" for $50,000 for a fake BJ that never happened. But the bit where he went back to re-do some of the things he did in life when he was having the best times of his life and feeling alive. Like getting a job at Mr Smileys, to reconnect with the feeling of that summer where he flipped burgers and did nothing but party and get laid. Like starting a work out routine to the music he used to love to get his physicality and for him, his balls back. Like getting that Firebird he’d always wanted that his cousin Tony had.
For me recently, after my former business partner and I went our separate ways, in considering what what my deepest solo calling was now, it involved taking a trip back to a place I lived a few years when my own solo Practice got momentum for the first time. Reconnecting with what creative juices and what support was running through my veins then. As a part of that, remembering what truly sets my soul on fire and what I love most that other people also get the most benefit out of my calling shared too. For me, that's reconnecting with those previous times I’ve run immersion events, helped run dance events, or transpersonal or drama therapy processes in workshops, sang or performed in public, been a part of sound healing and energetic wellness trainings, as well as been involved in collaborative Wellness, Leadership and Business Training Events.
In both cases, reconnecting with this energy can be part of the last kick of momentum you need out the other side of the gully of transformation and then becomes part of the drive for the next set of collaborations, workshops and events to plan and run.
Meet & Engage the Inner Huntress/Hunter
Connecting with this one is the piece of motivation puzzle that gives you not just more momentum out of the gully but to keep accelerating along the next stretch of road of your deepest calling. This can be the one where women can learn a little bit from the men we’ve had in our lives about being the hunter gatherer who goes out to meet and seize incoming opportunity with open arms. In evolutionary ecology terms, humans are a predatory species in the grand hierarchy of things. The desire, the willpower to go after what we want is an in-built part of our human nature that, unless you’re in a position where you have a team of people going out and hunting down your clients, work and business for you, as business owners and emerging leaders of the future, to ensure our success, it is essential that we tap and harness this part of ourselves to our advantage.
Sometimes when we’re creating something new, we’ve got to go out and get the resources to make it happen, to help put it together, when we need help to put it together. Depending what point where starting from, sometimes it might flow easily and then at other times it feels like a long stretch of road ahead without a pitt stop and pushing a truck rather than a car, bike or skateboard up that hill.
Connecting (or re-connecting) with our inner huntress/hunter and hence our hunger and desire for what we seek, helps keep going.
How does one connect with one’s inner huntress or hunter or warrior in a modern scenario? Part of the collective hunger for shows like True Blood and Game of Thrones is the desire to reconnect with our inner hunter and warrior energy expressing itself in modern terms, at a time at which sedentary lifestyle and indoor technological activity, plus life’s imposed demands have disconnected many from it.
So have a think about what movies, books, music, tv shoes, and huntress/hunter/warrior/ess type characters you’ve seen over the years that you really connected with. What qualities about them do you resonate with? There’s a good chance that you have/are what you love about them. So claim it. Claim that you are that. As there is a healthy, modern day way to express this energy in a modern day context.
And then, whether at work or play, take the action a step further than a walk down aisle 3 at the supermarket to get back into (or practice getting into) going after what you want. In your personal life, if you’re partnered or married, there's an obvious opportunity to connect with your expression of desire and explore your will power, right? You might wish to go home and stalk your partner with that note of hunger for them in your eyes. If you’re single, you might wish to go dream up a fantasy which expresses your desire in a healthy way (and do something about it)…which might be self-love to reclaim your desire, or it might literally being going out hunting/dating, going after what you want. Why would i even mention that? Desire and will go hand in hand? Get your physical desire flowing, ALL desire and willpower will resume flowing. Then it's up to you what you decide to do with all that energy. In this case we're talking about healthy ways to add fuel to your work, business, leadership motivational and manifestation fire.
So, in your work or business, what is it that your hungry for next? Really hungry to experience? What practical action can you do to go after it? Go do that tiger. And don’t let rejection get in the way. The tiger doesn’t give up when the gazelle looks a little too far ahead. It goes faster, harder, it tries again, it enlists support. So too must we. And then enjoy every minute of the chase of the drive, along the way.
It's all still there on the other side of the gully, when we trust and go with the flow. Happy Hunting what you love ladies and gents :-)
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.