Spend a little bit of time with me, and you'll soon find that there are 3 things i'm pretty passionate about when it comes to our future leaders and business. And those are, 1) helping them confidently bring forward more of their uniqueness in all aspects of life 2) in an increasingly tech focused, world, that has moved more online than ever, maintaining the quality of human connection that has always been the magic of face to face engagement and 3) Helping them master all the tools, practices and modes of service delivery that will help them do that, one of which i think fore sure is video.
BUT there is also some pretty good real-world evidence as to why in your business, if you've been resisting this whole video thing that the world seems to be learning towards now, it might be time, not to mention entirely necessary for the benefit of the future clients i know you're passionate about helping, to embrace it. This blog is about WHY:
OUR CURRENT ONLINE AND VIDEO CONSUMPTION BEHAVIOUR
For a start, Americans are now spending approximately on average 6 hours a day interacting with media online and Australian's are not far behind. Of the nearly seven hours we spend each day on tablets, phones and computers, according to the report done earlier this year by We are Social, in collaboration with Hootsuite, around 5.34 hours per day of that is online.
If you're curious to know what the latest figures (September 2018) on what the top 26 sites are that Australian's are spending their online time on, check out Vivid Social's latest September 2018 report here and the breakdown of U.S. online engagement in the Nielsen 2018 report here.
Now the big question.
HOW MANY HOURS ARE WE SPENDING ON VIDEO EACH WEEK AND WHERE?
Globally, Youtube is the world’s second largest search engine and we watch over 1 billion hours of video on there per day (15 million of those are being watched by Australians.) That's well above the 100 million hours per day in September 2018 spent watching Facebook Video and 116 million per day spent on Netflix.
That means a HUGE percentage of your potential clients would appear to be on those platforms watching video, both recreationally and it's where they end up when they're trying to solve their problems in all aspects of life. Video is a big part of online education, it's a huge part of workplace training culture, it's a part of what employees are doing when they're MEANT to be working. And for those working 9-5 type hours, they’re sitting on their daily commutes watching videos or listening to Podcasts. Before getting home to families where there are an average of 6 devices being used to access live tv, on demand video content, video games and, of course, all of the platforms mentioned above.
Bottom line, if you want your message to more effectively reach more of the approximately 85% of Australians alone who are still using TV's and accessing online video content for those above hours, you might need to be hanging out, like the chefeur at the airport holding up a sign for their VIP client, on video, holding up your message there as your version of yours.
IF YOU WANT TO WORK WITH GEN Z, YOU NEED TO LEARN THEIR PREFERRED PLATFORM OF COMMUNICATION
Wether you're wanting to work with young people as clients or are managing them in the working world, video is also the communication tool of choice of many young people. According to Stillman and Stillman in Gen Z at work (e.g. Gen Z being the generation born between 1995 and 2012,) when they interviewed 1000’s of Leaders, HR’s directors and Gen Z's themselves on life and working life through their eyes, as a general rule, Gen Z’s are all over video. When they apply for a job now, or university place, their CV’s and applications are all or accompanied by a video. If you look at recruitment platforms across the country, from the governments Jobactive, to Retail Recruiters, you might have noticed video applications in Australia are fast becoming the thing now in line with this. More than that, when it comes to meetings and videos, where a Boomer or a Gen X'er would come and meet a potential client or partner somewhere for a meeting, a Gen Z will likely set up a video chat with you from home, to your office. That’s normal for them.
Moral of the story, not only is video fast becoming a preferred communication tool of the present going into the future, If you want to work with Gen Z as a target market, it’s pretty much essential that you get a little better acquainted with my good friend video, in all it's online applications.
AS A HUMAN SERVICE BASED BUSINESS OWNER, PRACTITIONER, COACH, AND LEADER, SHORT OF BEING IN THE ROOM WITH YOU, IT'S THE NEXT BEST WAY TO CONVEY YOUR MAGIC
As a Practitioner, Healer, Counsellor, Coach, Mentor, Creative or Transformational Therapist, Leader, Speaker, Facilitator or Trainer, your essence and that unique presence that only you can provide, IS your magic and as a Mentor of mine was saying earlier this week, it's the one thing that basically nobody else can replicate. I've been saying it for years too. In a busy market place where there are now many people with similar training and skillsets, or even in a clinic, where there are 5 other Counsellors, the one thing that sets you apart and that they will choose you for, IS their resonance with your unique essence, plus professional and personal experience. I've said this before too, but never did that become more obvious to me than when i was trained, along with several other Mentors, to offer program content we'd mostly been taught and you'd have 6 of us lined up, basically saying the same thing to a group of clients. But clients would always pick who they'd pick based on who they felt they had the most in common with. Because that's the game of people and relationships and the nature of the human helping relationship, wether therapeutic or or a teaching one.
Thus, in order to connect with clients in a way that inspires them to work with you, it is absolutely essential that you be able to communicate a direct transmission of YOU (eg showcase YOU) with the most suitable medium to accurately capture and communicate it. Short of you being in the room with them, what is it? Yep, video.
While good writing CAN convey an energetic quality and personality for sure, it’s sometimes much hardER to convey with the same level of emotion and personality, your unique essence and the quality of the experience a potential client is going to have with you, in writing. Not to mention, it's infinitely more open to interpretation and falls victim to projection and misinterpretation far more often, because there's no verbal or less obvious non verbal communication to go off.
But, on the other hand, get equally comfortable with conveying the same message via video and it’s incredibly easy to remove these miscommunication hassles by using video, where they can engage with you with far more senses and thus get a much more realistic impression of the REAL you. Plus the experience they'll have in session or in an online program with you, wether online or face to face.
Not to mention, if you want to reach a much bigger audience, a global audience, video again opens up the world to you, to a much greater degree
with all senses engaged to a level that goes beyond what you can do on a voice call alone. Until you can get there in person, it's the next best thing.
Have I sold you yet? While Podcasts are definitely also a thing, video is holding our attention for a much larger percentage of each and every day right now and so is just as much a tool you want to nail. And the places it gets watched, where you want to be hanging out.
Cowling, D, Social Media Statistics Australia- September 2018, 1st Oct 2018
Tilley, C, Chart of the day- How we are spending our internet minutes, 2nd July 2018
De Spinola, C, 2018 Digital Report Australia, 15 Feb 2018
Stillman D & Stillman, J, Gen Z at Work, Harper Collins, New York, 2017
Time flies: US adults now spend nearly 6 hours per day watching video, Neilson Insights, 7 July 2018
One of the most powerful lessons I ever learned about leadership, I learned at age 16-17, as a Senior Student and Lead Actor in our yearly high school productions, having been trusted by two of my Teachers and Mentors to run several rehearsals with about 150 students involved, on their behalf.
Simultaneously, I’d also been a peer support leader, assigned, along with 2 other year 11 leaders, to a group of year 7’s, who through regular group sessions and one on one, we’d support through their transition into high school life and do our best to help them realise their highest potential in all aspects of life. So wether it was in the yard or a corridor somewhere, in the gym rehearsing, or in the change rooms afterwards, lots of the younger kids would often come and find me wanting to chat when they were either worried about something to do with their role in the production, or just when stuff was going on at school or in life full stop.
My big lesson though came the week ahead of one of the particular productions, at which time I was also trying to rally the students for funds to buy a thank you present for our Drama and Art Teachers who run the school productions. And had asked at each of the last few rehearsals for donations, but hadn’t seen much coming in yet for our thank you present and was starting to both worry and was feeling in myself frustrated as to why this was happening and why I felt like they weren’t listening or taking action.
I had a great deal of empathy and compassion for why I imagined many of the students may not have money to give or parents supportive of them doing so. And any number of reasons they’d not yet made it a priority. But when giving and gratitude innately in my head go hand in hand with leadership and service, but also receiving support, especially when people are going above and beyond for you, I found myself asking, are they not also grateful? Do they not get what a gift this is? What am I doing wrong here? How do I motivate them to care as much about this as I do to inspire action taking here?
I wanted to be a positive role model and help them grow in positive ways through this production. I wanted to do a great job as a Leader, on behalf of my awesome leaders, who were so good at encouraging kids highest potential to come forward and inspiring them to grow, through focusing on their strengths. And it was obviously the one thing I couldn’t ask my Mentors for help on!
Standing in front of that room that day, in front of in the vicinity of 150 students, this is where I messed it up:
There was a part in my address about our shared vision, a reminder about donations for the present where I thanked and expressed gratitude to everyone who’d paid and to all for their hard work.
BUT then there was the part where I lost it and went the way of “do you people not get how much our teachers and everyone are giving up so that not only we get this opportunity, but many of you get a space where you can get out of classes you don’t want to be in, seriously, 50c of your lunch money instead of that extra chocolate frog you’re going to buy in half an hour, it’s not that hard, get some gratitude" route, with my best condescending parent guilt tripping tone.
In other words, i went the way of the GUILT TRIP.
Four things happened after that little speech.
But then D…..and this is where the lesson is.
And I learned some of the greatest lessons you will ever learn about leadership that week:
You might win the respect of a few as a leader for standing for something and being willing to hold your ground. BUT, you don’t win respect or follow-ship through judgement and moral condescension. And you don’t bring you and your people closer through it either.
People will do what you ask because you’re the leader, but secretly hate you for not seeing and recognising the good in them and honouring and rewarding their good behaviour, talents and efforts. And they will resent you for not showing more compassion and acknowledgement when they’re going through stuff or compassion when somebody is believed to be at fault, when really they didn’t mean to let anyone down and their hearts are in the right place. And if you don't own your sh#t, they'll resent you even more.
Many of those kids already copped enough of that at home every day. And maybe they had parents who, like me in that moment, feared and doubted in themselves, in their own authority and the innate power of their own voices and ability to have a boundary or request be respected. Thus would resort to TRYING to be powerful and intimidating, or morally condescending, trying to bring about behavioural change. They didn’t need me to be another moral guilt tripping parent figure, trying to exact an old-school B.F. Skinner style Operating behavioural modification through punishment alone, as a Leader..
They needed me to, especially in THIS challenging moment, show up in my heart. To see and meet the part of them eye to eye, heart to heart, that WAS loving, WAS grateful, that WAS struggling, that was the highest version of themselves already in expression.
They needed me to encourage them and acknowledge all the little things I see them doing where they’re already being all the kinds of awesome that they already were. And to do what I would normally do in just reminding them (as I had done every other time prior) about contributing by today if they want and are able to and for me to get over my shit if I got a no. And keep doing what I would always do in being there if they needed and being generous with insight or advice if they asked for it too.
I needed to consciously show up as the version of me that both trusted in how powerful we are alone when you own your truth and speak from your heart. And understood how impactful words can be without you ever having to TRY and put force behind them. In fact, words a so powerful we need to be careful to always stay heart connected , speak kindly and stay attuned to the non verbal feedback we’re receiving about how the words we’re choosing are impacting the person we’re speaking to. To be sensitive to and adjust our tact as may be required based on the reaction of the person or audience on the receiving end of whatever it is you’ve just said.
Thus a few things to remember about how to be a great Leader, the kind the truly motivates and inspires, that brings people closer and unites them to work together for a cause, side by side:
People will be far more willing to grow with you and support your cause if you give freely of yourself and your wisdom to them, give gratitude often and focus on the growth people are achieving over punishing fault and failure.
Sometimes that means asking how things are going or went and how could we do this better or bring about a solution in regards to this, instead. E.g. Go for the positive trip, instead of the guilt one.
And PRACTICING (hence role modelling) OWNERSHIP if you make a mistake, APOLOGISING for the impact when you do and practicing compassion and forgiveness with self and others when a mistake is made, so that we can all get back to being the best versions of ourselves as we continue to work towards our shared vision and mission.
In the end, you build connection and trust by looking at what we have in common, over our differences
That’s how you create trust and closeness in your tribe and be positively influential, in inspiring people to be and do their best.
Until next time, have fun take care.
A lot of conversations around how to get more clients focus on what the client's resistance is. But sometimes it's not always the client that is the one blocking the client from connecting with or buying our products or services. Sometimes, dag nam it, it's just plain old US getting in our own way. After my last several years of talking to Practitioners/Business Owners about how to get more clients and what's breaking down somewhere in the process that they're not getting more clients, this week an article with a few of the common ways we tend to block our own sales. Plus a few thoughts on what you can do to get back on track.
First though, let's take a step back and clarify what marketing and sales actually ARE:
What is Marketing?
As defined by the American Marketing Association, Marketing is the activity of and processes for creating, communicating, delivering and exchanging offerings that have value for clients, customers, partners and society at large.
It is the process of accurately identifying client needs and also effectively working out what will satisfy them.
What is Sales?
If marketing is the means by which a concept moves to the creation of viable client offering or product, then sales if that’s what you want to call it, at it’s simplest, it is the exchange of a commodity (e.g. something of a perceived value) for money; in this case, it is the action of selling that something to a client.
It is the process of checking what problems exist for the client in front of you and then identifying the most appropriate potential solution/s you have to that problem and then linking the client in with the before-mentioned solution/s.
Those solutions may be your services or they may be a good referral to someone else’s. But at the simplest level, that’s it.
Like many things on the planet, yes both can be used for good or evil. Which brings me to our first potential block:
7 Ways that we ourselves can be blocking sales and why. Plus what to do to fix it.
1- Investing too much of our time and energy in hating on the shadow side of sales, marketing, business and the existing financial system, instead of investing our time and energy in learning from the right heart centred, integral people, how to do heart centred, integral, soulful sales, marketing, business and conscious capitalism WELL (so that you can ultimately increase your reach and make a bigger difference in the world)
Ok, so we've probably all got a story of someone who used the laws of human psychology and effective communication and problem solving to try and manipulate someone into buying some THING for their own gain. But this is NOT the norm. Playing into the belief that ALL sales, marketing and attempts to make money are evil is a bit like that scene in Tomorrow When the War Began, when the kids take the petrol tanker and blow it up in the middle of the main bridge to and from town to stop the enemy being able to come into town. Only, in this instance, you're on one side of the bridge, your clients are on the other, and the bridge between them is made of good, authentic, heart centred but effective marketing and sales, that links the problems and aspirations on one side with the solutions and pathways to get there on the other. Literally, if you choose to detonate the tanker with the belief that it's ALL evil, you cut yourself off and hence move away from your life purpose and the exact processes that will help you CONNECT with more clients.
Choose to see the thousands of gorgeous heart centred people standing all around you of all ages who want to help you learn to do marketing and sales the heart-centred soulful way, who are committed to using their time, resources to helping you make a bigger difference in the world and you, as much as them, live lives you love, with those you love. And invest your time and energy there, so that you can better be of service.
2- You're talking Practitioner Language not client language and hence, not communicating enough value to them for them to see you're offering as essential, not just relevant or (we hope not) irrelevant.
In case you missed it, or missed me mentioning it in previous blogs) I did a Facebook Live in the Women in Wellness Leadership group here.
But the basic idea is that, the longer we are training as Practitioners or Experts in a particular field and later working in that field, the deeper our knowledge becomes on a particular set of problems and the more technical and exclusive our lingo/language we use becomes in the process.
The longer we're on this path, the further we move from the version of us and what he or she knew and how we talked and behaved before we
Quite naturally, in our personal and work relationships, it's entirely normal to want to hang out with other people who also now 'get it" and are "on my level."
BUT there's one fundamental law of teaching and being a teacher here that we must remember for the sake of our clients. Think of a Primary School teacher for a second. Do they stop working with school children because they're "not on their level and don't get me"? Or do they operate on the understanding that it is their job to help their kids move through a bunch of learning and developmental milestones on the path of growth? Your task as a Teacher is no different.
It's not necessarily the people just like you that need your help too. There might be other people, from vastly different industries or backgrounds, who are facing the same challenges or similar ones to the ones you have, or know how to solve, but are anywhere from a few weeks to several years still developmentally behind you on that healing or growth journey. They could just as much benefit from the knowledge and solutions you already have.
Thus, we have to remember to be sensitive to how we used to communicate (and how they STILL communicate) before we learned "Practitioner Language" and understood the problems/solutions the way we do now. To remember that we're now moving at running pace, while they're just taking their first steps. Communicating in terms they still understand, thus, will help your clients better understand
3- Not everybody is going to catch fish when we all fish in the same little pond
Which brings me to no 3: further to the wanting to be with like people, have you ever noticed that every Practitioner and their dog wants to have their target market be other Practitioners? (Which kind of then has them ALL fishing in the same little pond, with a fixed number of fish in it, hence limiting your number of potential sales in basic "Supply outweighs Demand" fashion?)
Remember though, as i was blogging about earlier in the year, there are other people out there from different backgrounds who STILL have similar problems to you, who also need your help, the whole world over. BUT you might need to step away from the familiarity and comfort zone of the known pond under that bridge you've so far been living near and get curious about the other ponds out there. And what they want and need.
For example, as one of my Mentors once said to me when i had previously come from a Community Services background and had not long been in private practice, there are just as many wealthy people (as he put it) who are dealing with/need help to overcome the ripple effects of abuse stuff in relationships, as the people i'd been familiar in working with through NFP's and agencies, who's problems i could ALSO be solving AND they could afford to pay a whole bunch more for it. I just had to get out of my comfort zone of what i already knew and get just as good at marketing, sales and being of service to them too, so that i could both make a bigger difference and (personally speaking) thrive in private practice.
Which brings me to no 4:
4- We're still working through our money stuff and or have the guilts about charging and that's putting the future sign ups on PAUSE
Again, like the Tomorrow When the War Began Bridge metaphor, this one can be temporarily terminal to the part of the bridge that relates to us RECEIVING a YES and the money for the sale, if part of us are still in a state of judgement about money and the integrity or people who have it, or not feeling entitled to it, again, we just blew up the bridge.
To take what i said in my recent blog called entitlement is actually a good thing a step further, this also has an impact on temporarily blocking our sign ups/sales as well, because you've got to love money and square with it being an expression of love to get MORE of it.
5- We're resistant to that client because they're showing us the parts of ourselves we haven't learned to love in ourselves yet, and that can be blocking us and the client connecting more closely.
Sometimes the projection of our own unhealed shadow also creates a distance between us and a potential sign up. This might sound a bit like you saying "i don't know why, but i just don't like that person" or some other form of judgy, adverse reaction to whatever they're presenting with.
Breathe. It's human to have this happen. We all have parts of ourselves we have to learn to love and have compassion for. But, it's also worth remembering that you could feel it, right, the last time you were around someone who was triggered by you and couldn't be around you with their heart wide open because of that?
Our potential clients and clients are no different. They can feel it when you're triggered by them and or struggling to show up with the full degree of love and presence you know you otherwise normally would intend to.
In a world where we all want to be loved, valued and honoured for who we are, warts and all, unfortunately, at times, immense value offered or not, that's motivation enough for some people not to buy.
Relationships wont exactly last very long if we quit every one of them every time we get triggered, will they? BUT what we CAN do instead, is the self love work.
Once you can love and accept it in you, you'll be able to be with it in your clients without resistance. A temporary referral might be advisable in the interim, in both your best interest, especially if it's something major. If it's minor, you might keep working on the bridge.
6- You're actually not listening to the part of you that doesn't want to be doing this particular thing right now or possibly even doing this thing anymore (and the low interest or sign ups are reflecting this truth back to you externally)
Sometimes low numbers are simply a reflection of something our heart in not really IN right now for whatever reason, in the short term, or occasionally maybe that we're now transitioning beyond, delivered back to us via the external world.
Sometimes, when you're sick or emotionally dealing with something, low sign ups might be life reflecting back to us that we actually need some rest or "me time" right now.
Or when you've been a Practitioner for a while and have been giving it your all, sometimes it can just be showing us where we're burning the candle too hard at both ends and the old way we were doing things needs an overhaul.
Or occasionally, at other times, it might show us when we're just DONE completely, because we healed or evolved beyond the reality of that particular story/phase of our lives and it's the natural evolution to now move on.
Easy self care questions for this one:
7- We're feeling genuinely resistant because we're feeling an incompatibility red flag
In the eyes of the consumer, they have a lot of expectations about what they will want to get when they invest money. But there's also such a thing as a client code of conduct, e.g. a set of guidelines regarding practices and procedures within your business, as well as guidelines about how you would like to be treated in this business relationship.
Do you have one? If not, might be time to write one down and get clear about it.
But the point is, wether you have one already or just have a version of it in your head, sometimes you will spot it or feel it as clear as day when a client is not in alignment with that.
In which case, it's often better to be honest at the outset, rather than string both of you along until whatever it is plays out and that negatively impacts not just your client or you, but potentially now your business too.
Sadly, just like "difficult" staff, challenging clients often pass from Practitioner to Practitioner, organisation to organisation with everyone tip-toeing around their challenging client behaviour, wondering what to do about it. Just like Centrelink or Community Services organisations, Hospitals or HR departments though, you're allowed to say something at times like:
These can be times where we need to set boundaries and or engage other appropriate professional support as needed. And those boundaries start by trusting in it initially when you feel a red flag with a potential new client.
If you're ever in any doubt about what to do when challenging behaviour comes up, it can be immensely handy to have a Supervisor or Mentor to check in with. On two fronts, for the welfare of the client. Plus, it can help you take the breaks off on recruiting new clients when you feel better supported and like you've got this, even when the road of service gets bumpy.
Admittedly, because I have an Allied Health, Emergency Services, Community Service and Counselling background, as well as now being a Business Coach and Mentor, my clients often check in with me when they need to come up with strategy on how to handle exactly these things. And i'm always happy to share what wisdom i have on such things if you ever need.
Finally, and here's the BIGGEST one, but a process too, to help us end on a high...
We secretly think we're not enough or what we're offering is not enough
So, whoever they are, perfect client, some one we worry is more qualified or experienced than us, maybe, sometimes we energetically block them from signing up before they ever have a chance to judge or BE disappointed or IMPRESSED.
This can look like:
as a couple of examples.
It's well worth taking a look at the "I'm not enough" belief, because it's not only like the cloud of smoke that comes with blowing up the sales bridge that blinds you AND your potential clients from being able to see and then connect with each other via the bridge. But's it's also one that can potentially be negatively impacting us across MOST areas of our life in which we're not really getting what we want, without us realising. Every time we get busy trying to prove that we're enough from the reality in which we believe "I'm not enough", we actually continue to reinforce the exact reality that we're actually not enough. And then what? We attract more people who perfectly line up with our belief, through their belief that we're not enough and stay in a state of longing for anyone who thinks we have value and we're enough.
I also wrote about it in greater depth earlier in the year in my blog called Valuing our own incredible value (and why people buy us)
Here's a process i'd been running in my own Mentoring programs the last few years when it came to helping Practitioners particularly in the start up phase recognise how amazing they really are and what value they have to offer the world.
Inspired by some of the processes in the original 90 Day programs i was trained to offer, and my counselling and coach training, I call this one Awesome Me Awesome You Awesome Stuff.
a) Awesome Me:
Like you would for a job interview, for this one you brain storm a list of all of your strengths and everything you can think of that you know you're good at and that makes you who you are. Get as much out as you can before you start thinking too much about it.
b) Awesome You:
This is about taking stock of all the wonderful things that other people say and have said about you. Especially as it relates to work. It may involve:
c) Awesome Stuff:
This one is about taking stock of your past achievements and the evidence of your holistic version of success (last week's blog), just like you'd do for a CV.
Some of them might be qualification related and some actual targets or goals you achieved or changes you made in specific job roles that, in this case, are relevant to customer service, case management, retail or sales.
You might too put things you achieved in business so far. Like that time you did that Facebook post or Live and got inquiries and a booking or 2 from it. Like that intro workshop you ran at a festival and got a few bookings for your next workshop from.
Or your personal best so far on product or program sales.
It can be good to reflect upon all how you felt at those times were you were last in the sign up zone. What happened just before and how were you behaving while you were "in the zone" that worked so well on those occasions?
This all helps reconnect you to the reality where you're awesomely succeeding and then some, e.g. back in "your zone." And, most importantly of all, it helps you sell yourself ON yourself. It builds your self-belief and your conviction in KNOWING through and through that you have something of immense value to offer the world. And seriously, about 90% of "selling" is conviction and belief alone in the value of what you're selling. Once you're sold on you, once you're one with the reality that i am awesome right here and NOW and what i've got to offer is just as awesome, there's no one left to convince. People start to belief in your belief. And that's why it's so important that you go all in creating and inhabiting the reality in which you believe in YOU.
Now (as one of Australia's Leading Experts on Self Belief, Conviction and Commitment, and author of The True Believers, Christina Guidotti would say):
d) Visualise and feel in advance the successful version of you.
Which is to say see and feel yourself (even if you have to get up in your lounge room, theatre style and act it out like you're rehearsing for a play) as the version of you who IS enough, who's overflowing with self belief, self confidence and conviction in the amazing value of what you're putting on the table. The you who is successfully helping for example, 7 people in your clinic on this particular day and receiving lots of great feedback and thanks at the end. Or delivering a talk to a room of 40 or even 4000 people, who are laughing along with something you just described, that they go through every day that they totally GET and LOVE that you get. And then see your sales process at the end and how many people are excited to be coming on board with you. Whatever "success" will look like for you personally.
Make sure you feel how you feel in that moment and notice how you're different to now and what you're doing different. Let it all flow back into awakening in you here and now.
Again, i've mentioned this before, but this is how you apply it to unblocking your sales potential :-)
So there you have it, some of the common ways I've noticed particularly Wellness and Service Based Business Owners can tend to block ourselves when it comes to sales and a few ways to get our authentic, integral, heart-centred sales mojo back ON.
Love to hear if there was a few AHA's in here for you. Is there any too that you'd add?
if you have any further questions, or there's anything I can further support you with in moving through any of these, and help you get more momentum from your sales and marketing efforts, feel free to drop me an email here. Just a reminder too, applications for private mentoring are now open again now for an October or January next year start. You can book in an application call below if you'd like to find out more.
As always, thanks so much for taking the time to stop by and until next time, have fun, take care.
Fast forward a few years and evolutions of that system, I'd since developed a version of my own that run more over an 8-12 month period.
Within these systems, among other things, some of the things we'd record and track as a measure of progress would be what action clients did or didn't take towards their main goals, how they felt or felt different at the end of each week. Plus we'd keep track of things like new and existing clients numbers seen and money made that week.
For both women and men, within the course of tracking their progress on such things, plus feeling and having to be accountable for their own reactions in regards to their progress or perceived lack thereof, people tend to either love it or completely hate it.
It's easy to love it when you're winning (if sometimes it takes particularly women a while to get ok with doing the happy dance, particularly with others.) Regardless of gender, it's easy to hate it when it's triggering all your deepest darkest stuff about competition, insecurity, jealousy, privilege or failure and challenging all the ways (as i've blogged about previously) our self worth is being generated based on such things!
The easy route in those moments is to take the old playground "I don't like this game, i'm not playing anymore" stance. Which in adult business land, looks like, pulling away from the tribe and or considering quitting the program. Because it's often so deeply engrained and unconscious, often people will start to play it out, rather than seeking to talk it out. And very often blaming something or someone else, like
a) someone around them
b) the system
c) you the Coach/Mentor
d) the whole damn patriarchy for their outdated overly masculine ways of doing business including
e) capitalism and
f) all success systems that encourage competition and only track quantitative left brain things, and
g) don't support women to be in the feminine or
h) men to be the truest, heart-centred version of themselves
results. To, with love, dish out a little piece of truth though for a moment, what i've learned over the years is that not one of those is the actual reason things didn't go how we hoped that week and not ONE of them, in a first world country, on a planet with over 7 billion people, is really preventing us from achieving our goals and being who we are NOW. While at times it can feel very real, to play into it is actually a distraction from the real task at hand.
The real gift when all our stuff about failure and competition comes up, the high road, is to accept the challenge to look at our stuff head on and learn to deal with it in healthy ways. Ways that make us more confident and resilient and ways that bring us closer in relationship of all kinds, personal and professional. (Otherwise, if you let it, this stuff will keep messing up your insides and your work and personal connections indefinitely.)
HOW TO CREATE A MULTIDIMENSIONAL DEFINITION OF SUCCESS
There are 2 KEY THINGS that i think need to happen here to keep everybody on track to their healing, growth, the realisation of our personal and professional goals in a heart centred, new paradigm kind of way (and on a wider scale that will help create more connection than further separation) and those are:
1) Creating a definition of success that is Holistic. In other words more comprehensive than just commercial and quantitatively measurable.
Because while smashing targets is awesome (seriously, I truly LOVE it and thrive on having goals and targets, it's motivating and i do love to celebrate those moments with others, mine and theirs) life success is not just about smashing commercial targets, is it? Is it just about having a successful relationship to you? Family? Health? Friends? Enough money? Emotional Wellbeing? Spiritual Wellbeing? Purpose? A house? Any number of material things? Or external things achieved? Is it also about what two of my Coach friends would call embodiment? In other words, about BEING, as well as DOING or HAVING? Is it about how you feel now, compared to way back when? Is it about how we deal with our losses and perceived failures, as well as our wins? What qualitative aspects of success are there?
I find it helps to appraise these wider range of things along the way, or it's easy to get lost in the commercial side of things and equating our value to that.
But in truth, we are so much more THAN the sum of either our achievements or our failures alone and success has so many more facets to it, that no one can decide for US.
In fact, that's actually what Coaching was originally meant to be about, you come up with a holistic definition of success for your life and business, and a Coach or Mentor acts as a sounding board and an accountability partner in you taking action towards creating and embodying that.
2) Look at what our experience is really showing us about how we handle failure and how to deal with it in healthy ways
To continue to play into the belief that anything external is to blame for our progress or lack thereof, is a bit like when a toddler is taking that first leap from gripping chairs and couches and doing the shuffle walk along them, to the moment they get to the end of the couch and try and reach for the coffee table next to you, reach for it, lose their balance on the turn and fall down. Because you looked at them with encouragement in the middle of that, and you're a perceived authority figure, they turn and give you the biggest greasy EVER and CRY, like you somehow did this, while they were the one who fell. YOU, they believe, lead THEM to believe that they could do it/have it and it was WRONG! WRONG! And that hurts more than the shock of falling on your nappy-clad bum. But is it all them? Or is this also the perfect opportunity to feel all the feels that come when we don't make it, to learn from what didn't work and how to deal with it in healthy ways and rise again?
In that moment, the Toddler is possibly projecting their disappointment and maybe a little embarrassment that they didn't make it and (if they've learned already that achievements and GOOD behaviour results in love and approval being given and more love and good vibes come when you succeed) maybe also their projected disappointment that they didn't impress you like they wanted to and fear that you won't love them exactly as they are if they didn't do it right. Thus, the parent or caregiver's job for the toddler, is to show up completely in your heart in that moment and continue to love them unconditionally regardless of falling or successfully walking and help them find their way to getting back up after a fall. E.g. learn to deal with it in a healthy way. Over time, when they have the cognitive and language skills to comprehend it, you can then ask them questions that will help THEM think and love their way through the emotional side of those moments, so that they get back up faster and keep at it longer.
What comes up for each person in regards to those down moments of business is a little different for everyone. Because the childhood through to adult experiences and associated beliefs that evolved from them are slightly different for everyone. But, as grown ups here's a basic process you can follow to help navigate those "not win" moments:
HOW TO DEAL WITH "FAILURE" IN A HEALTHY WAY
AWARENESS: open a dialogue about what you/they think is happening just now and unpack what's really playing out, and what experiences and beliefs are underlying that
ACCEPTANCE: That right there will often be where we get emotional, so now you want to be with whatever comes up with unconditional love, acceptance and maybe (if appropriate) the occasional spot of humour. But either way, it's about dissolving the fear, judgement, shame and embarrassment about the faily bits and re-embracing them as entirely normal and human, along with a big psychological hug for both the child and the grown up parts that need it. (And be mindful that, if this comes up in front of others, our or people's public humiliation stuff will come into play and it pays to be very gentle in how you approach that....because it's one of the deepest of all human wounds.)
ASSESS: Time to analyse and decide wether these patterns and beliefs are or aren't serving one positively in their adult professional and personal life.
ADAPT: if they're not, it's time to reframe them. How does one want to be thinking, feeling and behaving instead in future? How would the version of me/them that's nailed this challenge do it?
APPRAISE: Here, we apply that above holistic definition of success, which is unique to each and covers numerous areas of personal and professional embodiment and evolution, in addition to one's commercial goals. The goal is to acknowledge where you/they are making progress still constantly, even if it doesn't FEEL like it in business right now, so that it doesn't hit us so hard all the time when we DO have a commercial loss moment. And
APPRECIATE: the aim is to appreciate where you/they are already making progress in and what their wider range of strengths and gifts are. The ones that are already the living embodiment of the best possible version of themselves and and are already helping them both along each moment of the journey and bringing them closer to the destinations not yet reached. Because as they say gratitude and success, breed more success. And finally, then we want to:
ACTION: Get back on the horse faster than you can find more reasons NOT to and take some type of action that keeps you in momentum towards your goals.
In a society today that's so focused on instant gratification and the quick fix too, it's worth remembering too that today is just a moment and while some victories move quickly, other learnings take their time too, and sometimes, in the grand scheme of things, there are good reasons for that, that if you could look above and see them NOW, we might be a little more forgiving of ourselves and others in the process. What's that saying again about "learning to enjoy the journey, as much as the destination?" And the one that says everybody wins sooner or later, it's just a matter of when. A little cliche, perhaps, but no less true :-)
if i can ever be there for you and help you navigate one of those moments, just let me know.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
P.S. Private Mentoring is back from Monday 10th September, for those moments where you did all the right business and market programs, but you just need a sounding board and the brain to pick of someone who knows the whole local practice building game, all the way up to the multiple 7 figure online business game and can help save you a few falls on the bum along the way. You can connect with me here if you'd like to find out more...
(why it's a lot more important than you might think...)
WHY are they always, despite all the work they’re doing STILL broke after all this time?
And the question that has always been of great interest to us both as Coaches:
What is really getting in the way of them making that shift from adversity and scarcity, to the every day reality of having an abundance of material resources to utilise and GIVE at will?
Having had literally thousands of conversations with Practitioners and Small Business Owners this last several years about their level of comfort with things like charging full stop or putting up their prices, as well as
Having worked in close proximity with a Mentor or two who were born into money and having had a few years of observing first hand how they think and do things differently, plus
Having worked in few Organisations and Clinic environments who's clientele were within mostly Melbourne's financial elite, as well as
My community services career, gave me some pretty good insight into this and the importance of the notion of entitlement within this.
Beyond all the judgements we hold around money and no matter how much business and financial skill we have or might learn, in the end, a very large part of it actually just comes down to wether, deep down, we feel entitled to it (meaning we feel worthy of it) or we don’t. As well as wether we believe it's realistically achievable or not.
For those who have been born into money and have lots of it, when they walk into any place from a restaurant to Officeworks, often, they were born with an understanding (despite whatever might go wrong with money at times or how people behave when they have or don't have it) that money and the resources they need are readily available for them, so they often perceive having a great freedom of choice and an innate “the sky’s the limit” mindset in terms of available possibilities to them, from what they can do with their life, to what they might buy themselves or a friend for lunch. They perceive that they have a lot of available resources
They often have a freedom and great desire to be very generous with it. Plus, for many, when they walk up to that desk, it is super clear in their mindset that the nature of the relationship is for the person at the desk in front of them to provide a service for them that meets their need, in fair mutual exchange for money…it is a business transaction….and money is a tool with which they can
People who were born into lower or middle class families have in common that
They too have a great desire to do good and be of service in the world
an incredible spirit of generosity, and the desire to share what (sometimes little) they have to help both family, friends and a stranger out. Some of these things are just "human."
BUT, when it comes to their innate sense of entitlement TO money and material wealth, and their belief thus in what available resources they have at their disposal, They often WEREN’T born to think they CAN have it all. While we're children and our brains were sponges, we picked up all kinds of perceptions about money and the people who have it, that we might not even realise that we have until life mirrors them back to us through experience later in life.
And a time in history where, for Gex X, Gen Y, Z and below, with the best aspirational paths laid out in front of many on a 40-50K average salary, even to those on a 120k salary, while they’re looking at 1 million dollar plus housing pricing for the place with the backyard they could raise some babies in and having to cover the cost of a working environment that now demands constant up-skilling at an extra 2-50k per piece to keep up, many are actually struggling to believe that their version of the have it all dream is realistically achievable. An when we don't think something is possibly achievable, it can kill our motivation to even try, in a "what's the point" kind of way. Until, we make a choice to step out of that we of being and thinking and start to surround ourselves with thinking, people and opportunities that are the living embodiment of it BEING possible.
Having had a Mother who both had Christian values and was a Social Worker and having worked in Community Services a few years myself, we were talking daily with people from “disadvantaged” backgrounds who had to ask someone, anyone, or the government/agency or charitable resources they were clients of for many of the common basic human luxuries many people take for granted that they have every day.
Which means, they are NOT feeling innately entitled, in their reality, they actually have to make a case, a sales pitch (and you the worker on their behalf to several other services for them) for why they need and are entitled to that basic human resource. In their head, Someone else has a great deal of power they may not perceive they have in that moment to say “yes” or “no” to them. Which creates a disconnect between them and money/abundance, an invisible psychic wall between them and what they want, which basically sets up the sub-conscious mindset that
“ I AM NOT NATURALLY ENTITLED TO OR WORTHY OF WHAT I WANT AND NEED IN LIFE, I HAVE TO PROVE THAT I AM WORTHY AND DESERVING BEFORE I CAN RECEIVE IT” and “THE POWER TO RESOLVE THIS LIES OUTSIDE OF ME”
They’re not alone in this are they though? How many times have you been to Woolworths or Aldi and watched the middle class child making their pitch to their single parent about why they are WORTHY and DESERVING of that chocolate bar, or maybe for the teenager, why they need and are entitled to that bottle of acne cleanser this week within the wider (and often limited) family budget? But more than that, how many parents within the financial elite, made their kids have to do the same thing before they'd hand them their own money? The learning of those above beliefs in motion.
For those people who’ve worked IN the government/nfp/charity organisations too, or any organisation that deals with money and resources or the potential of losing them, you have to be careful also not to take on the client’s “stuff” and fall into BELIEVING again in the scarcity mindset and thus further perpetuate the childhood beliefs gained within family environments where financial pressure WAS an issue, that
"It is a constant battle to get money and to prove oneself WORTHY of money and abundance."
And that is where a lot of the judgement of money and the nature of people WITH money (and if we’re going to be really honest) jealousy of the perceived ease they have that people born with less and who’ve had to work their freaking butts of their whole lives just to get to where they wanted to go, have of those who they perceive have “just had it handed to them on a silver platter” and “won’t be generous with giving it to them.”
Having worked with many such abundant people now myself TOO though (and had my slightly smaller share of abundant moments at times too, BUT had to slam face first into my own wall several times now into almost every one of the blocks I’m talking about IN this blog)
I’d say actually though that the “wealthy” DON’T always get it “easy” they can be just as messed up and traumatised at the abundant end of the spectrum too and there is just as much financial pressure and hard work (only now it involves HUGE amounts of money and massive numbers of people who’ll be potentially impacted)…and money and material possessions at ANY end of the financial spectrum can just as much be used as a weapon of abuse and manipulation in the pursuit of trying to bring about a certain outcome. Thus many of these issues are NOT confined just to one end of the spectrum at all.
Thus we as humans potentially have some struggle or some beliefs in common in why we may or may not feel entitled to money and stuff.
And we ALL have in common in this material reality that we have to learn how to manage money and material resources, so that, if we choose:
And we ALL have to go through that to financially get off the financial boob and grow up into our grown up material management pants. (And no amount of tanty-ing gets any one of us out of that in the long term in a material world.) Make sense?
Skill with money and finance doesn't just drop out of the sky, it's a life skill we need to take some time to learn and practice in before all other things. In the process of that, if our parents/guardians/family or later the people around us (like teachers/mentors, employers, partners, housemates, friends etc) heavily scrutinise every choice we make with money and hover over everything we do ready to confiscate it out of our hands at any given moment before we make a mistake (rather than let us make and grow from said mistake) we can take on the idea that
“I can’t be trusted to well manage my money and abundance. I need someone to do it FOR me.”
OR at work, in any number of industries where we might be assigned responsibility for either managing existing resources, allocating existing resources or bringing IN new resources, depending on HOW we’re managed from entry level, this TOO can either help us grow in our confidence around creating or managing money and stuff, or (if we let it) add extra material to the already growing stockpile of psychological damage and the story about money and stuff we already hold, and hence help or hinder our future ability to engage in the process of give and receive that's required to accumulate, grow and give back out material wealth.
So how do we help our clients, friends or family overcome this and or, if we need to ourselves, overcome this?
EDUCATE- it all starts with creating awareness of what pattern is actually playing out here. You first have to understand the problem before you can fix it. Thus, with love and gentleness, we can either choose to educate to create awareness. Or let life and the people around them/us be our teachers, until they/we "get it" what they're playing out and what's really going on.
MINDFULNESS- Then, having that awareness, one can now keep an inner observer eye out for when one is PLAYING these beliefs and the associated behaviours that follow, out and, with awareness, choose to make a different choice about what to do in future instead.
INTENTION- rather though than constantly going looking for problems all the time (which keys your brain into constantly SEE nothing BUT them) it helps to have created your picture of what it is that you want to do in life with money and material resources:
What would the exact opposite of the above lack based beliefs be for you/them? How will you use money and material resources to be of service and what quality of life could you create or give others in having it? It’s about aligning with and reminding ourselves of that intention daily and intending our connection with THAT reality to be louder than our past perceptions and experiences long enough to create lasting change. (That and you have to both want money and resources to come to you and give it a purpose to come to you FOR.)
ENERGY- but more than that, FEELING it daily. Here's the whoo whoo step of, not only do you want to visualise it like you’re actually doing every day things you would actually do IN that picture and feel yourself doing it. But this is also about consciously calling in and energetically connecting with the reality in which it's already happened.
Whatever your language for it, connecting with the divine and earthly energy and people that will support us to realise our highest potential in living it AND activate and awaken all the qualities within that we ALREADY HAVE to help create this.
As well as to further HEAL and RESOLVE any of those invisible barriers that still exist around the BELIEF that "I am/they are worthy of and entitled to my/their dream life" that you/they may still occasionally collide with along the way.
ACTION- then you follow your inner “ding” and or maybe plan out some concrete action steps that help you create and experience that vision. Generosity and being of service may well STILL be a key part of our/their part in that. Taking action to distance oneself from people and environments that are committed to staying IN the scarcity reality, or at least be very conscious in reminding yourself that the perception of scarcity is an illusion might also be a part of that action. No differently than if you want to get off drugs, you stop hanging out with addicts. if you want to brake the habit of scarcity, stop hanging out with scarcity addicts and if you must, make it other one's who, like you/they are equally as committed to their broke people's anonymous 12 step abundant living plan, as well as those who are already better off and happy to share what they know and have with you, in exchange for what you do.
RECEIVE- having got out of the way of our own invisible barriers, and learned a few things about how to create, receive and better manage our money and stuff going forward, it then it’s up to us to receive without resistance what we keep asking for and
GRATITUDE- forever keep acknowledging and being grateful for all we do and receive along the way.
In the end, as our basic human right, we’re ALL entitled to, meaning worthy of, everything we’ve ever dreamed of. We have to though, challenge ourselves to believe it. In that respect, when it comes to money and abundance, our sense of entitlement, IS actually incredibly important, in that its key to helping us step into the universal free flow of give and receive without resistance. A lot of people get worried about taking that step because so much new (cage) and spiritual literature damns the whole notion of entitlement and privilege as evil. BUT we can't throw the baby out with the bath water on this one. We have to first acknowledge that we CAN have something, before we can ever develop a gratitude-LESS over-inflated sense of entitlement and expectation to ever be judged ON. Like anything, there's a light side and a shadow side to all things and staying heart centred in the end is always the key to staying on track, in business, in love, in life.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
And how to write super relevant blogs that insight curiosity and inspire further action
There are a lot of blogs out there on how to write blogs. But how you will write a blog really depends upon what purpose you want the blog to be for. That means making a decision or two about who you want to write it for and to what end? Do you want it to get you more one on one clients? Do you want it to show case your knowledge/expertise and writing style to potential publishers you might want to contribute articles to? Do you want it to appeal to certain companies, who you might like as sponsors, who pay you to review products or services? For a hobby, you write what you want to write for the sake of writing it, for a business, you make a decision about the purpose and the end goal and where along the sales sequence of events your blog will fit into that chain as a tool.
That being decided upon, when it comes to then writing the actual blogs themselves, one of the absolute simplest ways you can write a blog is to start by thinking one market, one problem, one solution.
You may also like to include a call to action at the end of it. What is one of those, in case you're not familiar with that marketing terminology, it's basically an invitation to do some more work with in a certain capacity. Rather than assuming and leaving it up to your audience to contact you if they want to know more, you be pro-active in offering a point of continuity. If you ever get worried about feeling too salesy, try and think of it like this....you're a Practitioner/Consultant/Professional of some kind, you just opened a can of worms of potential questions regarding the client's problem/s that now need answering/further exploration following that blog, if the client wants support in answering them, what are their options for engaging with you further? You're not being pushy to give them an option, you're a) being of service b) educating them about your services through your blog and c) you're honouring your duty of care too.
How or where do you come up with a list of problems?
Regardless of wether you're in start up or have already had a few decades of experience that have given you clarity about WHAT your area of expertise already is, regardless of wether you start with a list of topics you know about or a list of problems you can solve, for a blog to be effective, you need to make a decision about who cares about those things and needs those problems solved on the way to achieving their aspirations.
And, you need to make sure that you divide that list into the problems that YOU know that they have and the problems that THEY are aware that they have. Because sometimes when someone is NOT succeeding in achieving the thing they want to achieve (eg the one experiencing the problem) it's like they are the guy in the boat on the surface of the river. However, you, through your training and experience, have the amazing super power ability to both fly above like an eagle and see things from that perspective, as well as land on the boat and see at the eye level of the boat, as well as dive under the water and see what's going on underneath the boat. The guy on the boat might not know why on earth you're blogging about underwater obstacles they might run aground on or that might seize the engine, when all they can see is clear open water ahead, until you give them the practitioner equivalent of a depth finder and the ability to detect and hence make decisions about avoiding said hazards. Thus to get them to recognise the value of your knowledge and warning in this instance, you need to start by talking in terms that relate to what THEY see and know about, then link it to what you know and how you can fix that.
How do you create a list that also includes the problems that they KNOW that they have?
A) You could reference PAST CASE NOTES/CASE STUDIES (or case studies if you’re not long out of study) for past client problems you might have forgotten about and to check up on the details on how they described their problems.
B) SURVEY PRESENT CLIENTS or people from another market you're considering on what their current greatest challenges are right now, ideally a combination of written survey or poll questions and verbal interviews. Add the problems that come out of your research to your list.
C) Check out ONLINE GROUPS on social media that your target market spend time in or that already relate to their existing problems and aspirations, to see what problems they're talking about right now. Add those to your list.
D) Check out the NEWS, CURRENT AFFAIRS TV PROGRAMS, ONLINE CHANNELS and WEBSITES, as well as the local and national PRINT MEDIA websites in your area too to see what's topical and trending right now. Check both the articles, episodes and the feedback on them for clues. They're great for quick, last minute inspiration and it's more material for the long term list.
E) Check out the PEAK BODIES, ASSOCIATIONS, PROFESSIONAL JOURNALS and any GOVERNMENT or EDUCATIONAL BODIES in your industry for RECENT PUBLICATIONS and RESEARCH relating to issues impacting upon your target market. You might also want to add those to your supporting research and or reading lists, as well as your list of your audience's problems.
F) Have an email address just for subscriptions to OTHER EXPERT'S EMAIL CONTENT, where you keep up to date on other industry experts and what trends they’re noticing and problems they’re talking about. Are you seeing them too? What do you agree with or not agree with that they're saying? What would you add? Add those ideas to your list.
And last, but not least:
G) MEDITATE ON IT and ask for guidance on what your audience needs right now and how you can be of service to them. You could also request signs from life over the coming days to further clarify, from potential and existing clients and any interactions you have with them that give you ideas. And add those to your list too.
NOW SOLVE for X
Now, it's time to use everything you know, all your training, experience and do some research to come up with solutions for each problem on this magical list. And solve them.
Only, before you completely freak out at the size of that task, remember, you don’t have to do this all at once. The idea is to work on this over time with clients and in between clients when you have some time you can regularly block out for it. Depending on how much blog content you're planning for and for how long in advance, you might in your progressive spare time come up with 52 little and big problems your target market/s face (one for each week of the year) or 26 for fortnightly or 12 for a monthly newsletter style one. The list simply gives you a point of focus to start from and then you can plan accordingly from there.
As you're working over time, you might also start to notice the patterns, or natural sequences of an order in which they move through them? That might be what your programs and future books, talks, workshops etc cover. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. First, you can use your blog or vlog to TEST YOUR IDEAS. SHARE THEM, SEE WHAT RESONATES, WHAT DOESN'T with your audience and later you'll build these things based on that.
One last thought on FORMAT
If you're interested in one day having your writing published, i'd also do some research on your FAVOURITE PUBLICATIONS or ones that relate to your industry and find out what their criteria and preferred formats are for submitting articles. You may wish to start writing a few blogs in that format, to that length. Any that don't get through, you can still potentially publish as blogs.
A few final points to remember:
Aim for high quality but don't get stuck in trying to make them perfect. No matter what you do, your knowledge and understanding of the same set of problems will evolve over time. One day, you'll look back on the one's you did 3 years back, eye roll and go "OMG, really? I said that? It so should THIS now!" Or you'll add steps or take out or simplify some things. It's normal, it will happen. Your clients still need right now though the version you KNOW right now.
Have fun, this is your chance to be be creative, as well as do the detective work needed to be of service, try and enjoy the creative process, as much wishing for the expert outcome
If you have any questions, just let me know. This might too be one of the kinds of things we can soundboard out one on one in my 1 year mentoring program, in those moments where you need a wise business sage to help you either plot the course around the obstacles ahead or, for those occasional program and content design and delivery moments where you feel like you've temporarily run aground. If you'd like to know more, you can get in touch, here.
Thanks so much for tuning in. Until next time, have fun, take care.
running a multiple 6 figure clinic and 2 people are 5 days overdue on paying their 2.5K monthly room rental invoices and you have 3K worth of bills and rates to pay by tomorrow, 2 of which, were due yesterday, BOTH can quickly induce that sudden attachment to the almighty dollar they represent in the short term) it actually pays though to bring it back to the quality of first impressions and your heart centred desire to be of service in helping solve this person’s thoroughly annoying problems. In other words, to think about the quality of relationship you want to build over the long term.
I ask them to consider this: suppose the next person who likes your Facebook page (and you want to reach out to (as a part of your Client Relationship Building Strategy) is going to turn out to be not only someone who engages in every one of your programs for the next 2 years, but also one day turns out to be one of your partners in sharing your amazing work with the world and together you will go on to help a thousand people together, not to mention have helped each other create successful, viable businesses together….how would you want to greet that person the first time you met them? What would you want them to feel? What first impression would you want them to walk away with? How do you want them to feel about engaging with you in future and ongoingly?
World class, rockstar level customer service, the kind that starts business relationships that last a lifetime and sees your business grow to 7 figures and beyond, all starts with the quality of that first impression.
To me, every time I’ve ever Coached, Mentored or Trained, CRM’d, Event Crewed, Event or Business Managed, my intention is that the people who get first impressions from me through those roles feel genuinely loved and respected, deeply appreciated and genuinely soulfully aligned, that they feel a little bit special, like they’re getting the VIP treatment and most importantly, that they feel the warmth and excitement, genuineness, commitment to professionalism and feel like they can relax, feel safe and even laugh and have a little bit of fun, while I’m finding out who they are and how I or we can genuinely help them.
Combine that with a well researched offering you’ve put together that genuinely solves that person's problems as understood by them, and an event or conversation that clearly gets to the bottom of what their problems are in their terms and briefly articulates how what you’re offering will help them get beyond that to where they say they really want to be instead and you’re off to an award winning, service based start.
If you’re ever in doubt about what to say in a first message, email or scenario above, bring it back to considering how would you want to greet this person the first time you met them? What would you want them to feel? What first impression would you want them to walk away with? How do you want them to feel about engaging with you in future and ongoingly? And let's not forget, how can you (from your expertise) be of service to them? Try writing your own script from there for each different kind of touchpoint and see what comes out. Then depending on what method of contact it is (in no more than a couple of brief sentences, you want to add in something about who you are and how you or the thing or opportunity you're offering could help solveAnd if you then feel like you would like some help to refine it to help come up with some versions that are both heart centred/genuine and commercially savvy, please do reach out for a chat, as it’s a part of what we can do together one on one….and hey, I just spent the last few years writing those kind of communications for 7+ figure businesses, so have a feeling I must be doing something there right.
Thanks for reading, really appreciate and it really looking forward to chatting more soon.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
If each of our lifetimes is a string of continuous events, sometimes, the combination of that major event, our reaction to it and the people involved become a bit like a knot that forms in the string, needing to be untangled at some point in order for that experience to serve us and those we will journey with going forward (personally and professionally) in ways that will best serve our growth and theirs. One of the acts of healing that often needs to happen in order to help untangle those knots, redefine the stories that bind us and allow us to be fully available for our life purpose/s again, is an act of forgiveness. How the conversation will look, who it involves (self or others), what each needs to hear and how each of us needs to be loved in those moments to heal looks and feels a little different for everyone.
Sometimes it just feels too big or painful. I know that one intimately. But here too is a working example of this kind of healing conversation in motion. A few weeks back, I was reminded of one of my own blame stories i hadn't forgiven me for while watching the movie The Shack (2017). Many people have heard me talk over the years of my Mum's death having happened 2 days before my 9th birthday (an interesting karmic entanglement i think alone, given that my Mum was in labour with me for 72 hours and it was a very difficult, breached, forcep delivered birth, in which, in my experiences of exploring it, it felt like there was an element of at least fearing one of us wasn't going to make it that went beyond the psychological death any Mother must go through in the process of birth to become a Mother. For that reason, (with maybe a small hint, ok maybe massive pinch of a co-dependent mother-daughter attachment and over-responsibility thrown in) the windows of my birth and her death have always felt undeniably related. But the deeper concern for 8, about to be 9 year old me, was the fact that my Father, my Grandfather and my brother (as well as I) didn't get to say goodbye to my Mother by 5 minutes while at least 2 hours of those last minutes were spent collecting me from a birthday celebration for me I was admittedly already concerned about having at a time we knew was coming close to being her last few days (and after they'd dropped me off, she later took a turn for the worse and the hospital staff decided it was time and so a new string of events for the day was planned.)
After i watched that movie, in which at least one of the characters is an older sister blaming herself for many of the events in the movie, the 8 year old, within the grown up in me came to the surface and cried and cried. To her, to knowingly stop someone from being able to say goodbye to someone they love would be unforgivably, overwhelmingly huge in the direction of a belief that says 'you just don't do that." Her self blame and maybe others at least perceived blame, became a part of one big knot that needed to be healed in the string of my life.
So grown up me had a job to do to help her forgive herself and see the story in a new way. I had to mentally hold her and reassure her that there are a string of so many decisions and events made by many people that lead up that moment, so she's not to blame. I had to tell her that, even if karmicly speaking, our Mother and I did have this weird link between our births and deaths, our Mother's decision and timing of departing, her emotional processes full stop were her own axe to grind and not little me's burden to bear, so to maybe let that one go. And finally, if she was so worried that her being here had done so much harm that in some way contributed to her Mother's departure, as i followed my gut on what needed to be said to heal through this process, I asked her to consider, that what if, (i don't talk about this much all the time now, but in years past, adult me has done a lot of Reiki/hands on healing, as well as Neo-Shamanic work with family, friends and clients and watched some rather remarkable things happen during and after those sessions in terms of halved recovery times, improvements of pain and physical conditions and amazing turn-arounds in emotional wellbeing and life circumstances, which defy logical scientific explanation and testability, hence you can't claim a cure or guarantee an outcome, yet) what if, with all her crazy, funky "healing abilities" or even just being HER, is it possible that, actually she helped her Mother to have another 7 years on this planet she wouldn't have otherwise had BECAUSE she came through as her daughter? How many amazing things happened in that extra 7 years? Her brother was born for one, and has gone on to be amazing and have two gorgeous kids, her Mother was a social worker and lord knows how many more people she helped in that extra time before she got sick. Not to mention she herself grows up to have a fairly positive impact in the lives of tens of thousands of people in the Wellness and other service based industries over the years, helping them to change their own lives for the better....there might just be a little something in that. But in the end, it wasn't her job to do it FOR her Mum, no matter how much help she got, only each person themselves in the end can make the choices and do the things for themselves that will see them heal and grow as adults, or not. In her Mother's case, it was her time. There's nothing more she could've done to change that. So is what she thought still true? Or does she maybe see things a little differently now? And can she maybe let it go? And everyone else's stuff in it that isn't hers go? And get back to that promise she made to give her all to living a life she loves? I finished that imaginary conversation and then left that information, that change of perspective to integrate.
A week later, i now have no charge around something that, 2 week ago it felt completely overwhelming and had seen me altering my behaviour around birthdays, celebrations and in how i engage in relationships for decades. Re-contextualising that story in 8 year old me's head allowed her/me to move from blame to forgiving myself, hence starting to untangle that knot and any related knots and now we/ I am free to engage in life and human connection, in business, in leadership in a whole new way.
That distinction between the blame we hold for ourselves or another, over the power we ourselves have to heal and resolve the situation entirely for ourselves and hence find the thread in the string that leads to forgiveness, is a big one for many of us.
The trouble with choosing “I can’t” or “I won’t” is that we can keep ourselves (and possibly others) tied in knots in ways that prevent us being able to engage in life fully in future, in ways that keep our hearts closed and walled off, or flat out preoccupied with our own process, where we might have otherwise, as Mack says to his eldest daughter in The Shack, have available bandwidth to be there for others, personally and professionally. Our thread, like a piece of wool being fed into the loom, along with many other threads of wool (people around us), when it is tangled, struggles to be weaved into the rich tapestry of life, of love, of Leadership and the picture of service and abundance that we have intended to be a part of. This potentially leaves us with a story defined by pain and suffering to tell too, a story of potential victimhood or loss or war. Over a story of triumph over the odds, of lessons learned, or one of healing, empowerment, gratitude and determination, despite whatever it was that went down.
Does this really best serve what we really deserve in life? Does it really best serve our future relationships, or our clients by the quality of the story we have to tell and how much of ourselves we have available to give? What potential version of a future us would we ourselves find most inspiring, loving and supportive, if we were the one on the receiving end of us? In the end, only each person can choose to go there or not for themselves. That internal sensation of peace and relief that arrives when we arrive at that place called forgiveness, may not always happen on the instant gratification schedule that we wish it would either, especially when it involves forgiving ourselves, sometimes that healing takes a commitment to repeatedly showing up to have a conversation with the part of oneself that hasn’t forgiven and let go, to ask it what it needs now to heal many more times than just one, until all associated mental threads of our own within the knot can accept it or we've cut free the threads of others tangled with our own string within it, But any time we’re struggling to show up for those moments, I find it helps to remember the people we love and who love us the most as well. To remember everyone we are yet to love and all of the people we will go on to one day help and inspire. And do it for them. Be the best version of ourselves we can possibly be for them. No matter what has been said or done, it’s never to late to change the story and choose the path of future happiness and love.
Until next time, have fun, take care
We discussed some of the challenges i went through at the start of my Wellness speaking career, as opposed to the years of standing on stage as a Character in the realm of live theatre and comedy performances (totally different thing!) And i share some of the strategies I'd been taught over the years and have been sharing with clients over the years to help them bust through their fears about public speaking, to be able to put themselves out there more confidently than ever before.
Some of the things we cover:
-replacing "nervous with service" (credit for that one to Matt Church, Col Fink and Sacha Coburn) and why this is so powerful in application
-the stages we go through in speaking up and owning our voice and how to become ok with speaking your truth in a heart-centred way
-how childhood experiences influence our adult communicating and relating capacity and contribute to the fears we can face stepping on stage as adults and some of the therapeutic modalities and one powerful strategy that can be utilised to help manage and resolve these
Click on the picture above or here to listen or download on iTunes, it's episode 25 and approximately 40mins
If you have any questions or would like some support to help you speak and lead with infinitely greater confidence in your Wellness or Service Based Business, I've just made some new session times available in August, which you can see and book in for below and i'll be in touch asap with all the details.
Until then, have fun, take care.
I hope you’ve had an interesting and peaceful week for those of you in school holiday mode right now. I’ve had an interesting one doing those terribly fun things you do when you’re transferring life and work related registrations interstate….this whole jumping aboard the NSW train is all getting pretty real now. Earlier in the week, I had set up a few meetings, interviews and events to go to..
Mid week I found myself at one, at one point, pulling an impromptu 5 min sales presentation out of my butt on an imaginary service I just invented and delivered it to a group of like minded peeps, also interested in making a difference in the world, we all did in fact. I’m always my biggest critic and I’m judging to the level of the part of me that once beat 750 other people to get into performing arts school, so I thought maybe that was ok for someone with my level of Training and Business and Sales Mentoring experience, was a bit nervous, might’ve looked a bit flat. After the facilitators left the room for a bit, the room started to chat. After a few bits of feedback to each other and the nearest neighbours on theirs, and me to mine, it was like the whole room all at once, in sync turned to me with the OMG face, to tell me that they thought mine was freaking amazing, how did I do that, it was so real, I was so confident, what’s my background?” …and suddenly I’m feeling myself with an audience attuned to my every word, like the elder at story time, asking for Mentoring (which I’m conscious of NOT doing in someone else’s space, because, well, it’s their space). In truth, for a group of people pretty new to this, I thought they did remarkably in fact and I told them that too as the Facilitators returned. Fifteen minutes later, I get offered a contract. And on the way out the door with the group, every single person was wanting to connect next week or soon for public speaking and sales mentoring. If I’d been asking for signs in the lead up to the new moon this week about what elements of training and experience I should add to my re-launch plan from September, I think that was a fairly decisive indicator.
What is it that we do in our "inner game" so to speak that helps us shift from that initial fear and uncertainty, to eventually being able to deliver a short piece like that with positive impact and this perceived level of expertise? I was interviewed by a colleague for a podcast last week, in which I was talking about the internal and external transformations start up business owners go through in putting themselves out there in the early stages of business and stepping into their personal leadership. In that podcast, I talk about my journeys both in the performing arts realm in initially getting on stage for performance purposes and about my later journey when it first came to speaking in the Wellness and Personal Development Industries at a professional level. About both the challenges that I personally had to grow through, along with the mindset, healing and practical strategies I implemented to build my confidence and resilience in putting myself, my wisdom and message out there on a bigger scale, as a leader and speaker. There’s a bit of insight on why what I delivered this week hit the mark in there and it will go live next Friday. Stay tuned to my Facebook or She Lives a Life She Loves page for updates this week if you’d like to check it out.
As i reflected upon some of the other mindset shifts that i've either shared with start up clients in recent years or that i felt have made a difference for me personally in how i show up on stage over the years, here's another 3 inner game insights i'd add:
No 1: Always approach every single opportunity to speak with both gratitude and respect for both the opportunity and the people in the room. Part of the gratitude to them is cultivating your ability to be present to and recognise the uniqueness and amazing potential of each person sitting in that audience. The more you can stand on a stage, connected to your heart and soul and look at any one of them from that place, the more they feel like you really see them and are talking straight to them, before you've even opened your mouth with relevant content.
No 2: Let go of your attachment to giving a shit what people think of you. The more of authentic you you put out there, the more some people are going to fall in love with you the more they learn about and see you and the more the others who don’t gel with you (or aren’t ready to pick up either what you’re putting down or to grab the boomerang of projection they just threw at you) will self select out, declaring to people, I don’t know what it is about her/him, but I just don’t like them. Maybe some days you’ll speak and everyone will say that you rocked it. And some days you will speak and learn from it. What’s most important of all though at the end of the day is what you think of you. That’s the one thing you always have complete and total control over. What can you reassure yourself with that helps you believe that you belong there? Last but certainly not least,
No 3: Every time you step onto a stage, online or live, learn to own that space like you belong there and take up space like what you say is worthy of being heard. When you vow to give it your everything and do your best to be of service, it also becomes easier to believe that you belong there. I like to remind myself too (this is slightly hippy whoo whoo) that If you’ve created or been offered that opportunity, remember too, you have a soul contract with all of the people there to be of service in delivering what you know that they came to hear. So in that respect, you’re not just showing up where you belong, but in every respect embracing your destiny and the potential of who you came here to be. So every time going forward now that you step onto a stage, any stage, own that stage, take up that space like you belong there. The more you speak and the more your audiences share their experience of you with you, the more you too will come to believe it.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.