One of the things I have always loved is a good street performance. When a source of incredible musical talent positions themselves street-side somewhere, it's like there is some trigger in my DNA that literally compels me to stop and engage. And lose myself for a few moments in someone's genius, in the moment where they choose to share it.
There is a fine art to being able to perform well on any stage, but there is a particular art in itself to being able to stay resilient in standing on a public stage you just created of your own accord, that nobody walking past was necessarily expecting or had consciously invited or been invited to be a part of, until the second they walked up the street and realised they were about to become a part of it.
1. Mental mastery and mastery of their state- turning the Kung Fu of reaction into a synchronous dance of response
Firstly, no matter how old you are, there is nothing like standing out in public and choosing to make yourself the centre of attention in a public space to trigger all your unresolved stuff about being seen and judged. About feeling wanted, about feeling likeable and worthy of love, about being enough, about being respected, about being heard and acknowledged, about being able to stand in your power (in a non confrontational way) and hold your boundaries, about wether what you’ve got to say or play is something people appreciate and hence deemed “of value” and “worth saying.” And especially, especially about being loved or rejected by the tribe.
On some level, we all carry the remnants of some very primal wounding around that we need to deal with at some point. But in a world where, presently massive change is wanted and people are tending to go about it in one of two main ways, either BEING the love and the change they wish to see, OR feeling sufficiently triggered enough with how they were treated in a situation and how it was handled to rebel against the establishment and smash and rip apart all of the old systems that are NOT aligned with what, collectively, the majority seem to want instead (at times both), the consequences of speaking against or with the tribe is as relevant as ever.
In other words, choosing to fly well and truly ON the radar and open oneself up to both judgement in either direction, positive or critical, can massively trigger your unresolved stuff. And will bring into sudden sharp awareness where all your defensive (self protective) patterning lies, in the process of revealing who we really are and what we’re really all about.
When our ultimate goal is usually to connect meaningfully, to be inviting and be positively impactful by way of the sharing of our magic, all the triggered stuff in our head, unfortunately can, at times, have the exact OPPOSITE effect on your audience. They may not be able to outwardly SEE a reason why to explain it. But, unless you deal with it, they may well feel the effects of the vibe you’re sending out. They may well feel a reaction or response to all your defences. So that your talent draws them in, but your “don’t you f@#$ with me” or your “@#$k you” (for not putting money in their hat) then becomes a determining factor in wether they stay and become a fan, start posting lovely things about you on social and maybe buy your CD. Or other they walk away with their friend going ‘far out, did you see the attitude on that guy?”
The more negs going on in your head, the more you might push them away and block the possibility of them meaningfully interacting with you.
Great performers seemingly make it look almost effortless. But, in reality, it’s not. They have a high degree of mental mastery and mastery of their state, to be able to stay present and grounded, to ensure they stay in the zone of performance plus responsiveness, and above the zone of reaction. And those who are highly interactive in engaging or facilitating engagement with the audience, have cultivated a high level of self awareness, to be able to ‘dance’ with the audience in a way that looks less like an energetic psychological kung fu battle for power, recognition and influence, and more like a synchronous exchange, in which the performer/presenter both leads and lives the flow of moves and magic.
Two more things that set great performers apart, that have their own applications for Speakers/Presenters/Leaders:
2. Guru/Celebrity/Person of Influence or no, good manners still go a long way.
Regardless of wether they’ve made themselves available on a stage, or as Ellen eloquently pointed out in her “Relatable” stand up comedy comeback piece, when you’re in your car and you’re Ellen and somebody cuts you off and you want to go nuts at them, but you’re now known globally for being the “be kind to each other” lady, when people approach them, within reason of the confines of the circumstance, they do their best to acknowledge and engage.
For the street performer, if someone approaches you to put money in your case, pick up a card or buy a CD, that makes it really easy. Basic social protocol dictates
that, if they’re giving you something, thanks and nice big smiles of love, warmth and gratitude are in order.
3. Looking for the “moments” you can share.
Another thing that makes a brilliant performer, is their ability to stay present to the people around them in the space and find little ways to include them, WHILE doing the juggling act of their magic. That is sure not easy when you’re trying to play a complex musical piece, sing and be sociable all at the same time. It takes practice to rise above both “concentration face” or the grey, emotionless, blank-faced fight-flight coping reaction we can have to a perceived external threat (wether real in the present, or a learned defence to the memory of an incident of long ago. )
But, somehow, good performers get good at looking for the moments they can share with you. Like the moment a couple is moved by your piece. Or someone laughs with you at a tricky bit. Or at a moment the other kind of genius (and there’s always a few of them) walks straight through the middle of your impromptu stage and you connect with the audience members who were offended on your behalf, over wondering if whoever just gatecrashed your stage is really for real right now.
What relevance does this have to all of you? Seemingly going are the days of being able to negotiate a contract in which you could dictate exactly how and when you gave your permission to be filmed, or when you could have a stunt butt come in for a close up of your left butt cheek before you, say, step onto a known global filming space, like Bondi Beach, scantily dressed. These days, everyone with a phone is a roving reporter with a camera and all the world is a stage. And social media is the online stage equivalent, where every time you put your content or opinion on social, it’s not that far removed from the experience of the street performer. A bunch of people will be pleasantly delighted to see it suddenly appear unexpectedly in their feed, some will want to hit the “hide” or “unfollow” buttons. So the lessons of resilience and how to invite and engage a positive experience, are not dissimilar.
If you’re interested in discussing more strategies that will help you better engage and relate with your audience, both live and online, you can connect with me for a chat here.
Until next time, have fun, take care
What kind of Leader do you Aspire to be in 2019?
Well here we are in 2019. Happy New Year to you! I hope you've had a lovely start to the year so far. Regardless of wherever you’re starting from as we start this year, and what's on your work and life manifestation list, what i'm curious to know is, have you given some thought yet to what kind of Leader you aspire to be in 2019?
A Mindset Coach friend recently asked me that very thing and followed it up with an equally pertinent metaphorical question, true to the frank, but love and humour filled manner in which we often talk about such things. As a Leader, do you want to be a Supernova, or a Black hole?
interesting question. Here's what essentially came out of me in response....
First of all, in case you're not a Sci Fi nerd like me, so that you don't have to click out to Dr Google, firstly, what are Supernovas and Black Holes?
A Supernova Is basically a Big Bang explosion out from what was a star, it brightly explodes (gives) matter out into the universe. Despite it's temporary life in the interstellar landscape, the chemical components and the waves of energy it sends out, contribute to the growth of new stars, new life for eons to come and more than that, it’s bright light continues to illuminate the universal landscape long after the supernova itself has done its magic and left the room.
Conversely, its counterpart (for they tend to come in pairs) a supermassive black hole, is the dense region of space that forms when a star collapses in on itself, and develops a core, with a gravitational field that pulls anything that enters its immediate vicinity towards it and is strong enough that, whatever enters past the blackhole's event horizon (outer edge), is thought to be unable to escape once inside it. In other words, it becomes the dominant force operating in the vicinity.
If we were to apply them in a Leadership context, as a metaphor, you might say that one is about us shining brightly in sharing your gifts in service and what we can create from that place; the other is about what it intends to get and is constantly taking from the universe to increase it’s own mass. Just to also clarify, i'm not saying either is "bad", in fact, we actually NEED both. Both give and take are necessary to be in the flow of creating and manifesting anything. Just as a strong internal motivation is key to achieving any goal. And there is nothing wrong with having a huge goal and huge ambition. That drive to achieve and experience is a gift that helps us follow through on getting long term, little and big goals DONE. What differentiates the outcome of what we create though, is the intention with which we create it. To serve self, to be of service, or both (e.g. to intend to manifest what's in the highest good of ALL, or to slip into the gargantuan pull of our own ego's than can, at times, go hand in hand with the business, leadership, fame and fortune piece.)
Bring both into balance and you're on a good thing. But, to end up stuck in either super extreme though, can be problematic.
For the Supernova: As many women who've spent much of their lives walking around operating on what John Gray once termed in the 90's, the LOSE WIN principle will tell you (e.g. that's the notion that, how well i love my tribe and my "success" as a nurturer is defined by how much i have self sacrificed in order to show that i love you and the cause, which means i am willing to deny my own needs to say YES, when every part of me is actually screaming to say the "no" i really mean... and lose out, so that you, or all can win) We can't sustain just being a supernova and giving with no regard to our wellbeing all the time, or you eventually burn yourself out, having given all your pieces away in service or creation. Or, dare i say it, maybe overdelivering on love and service, trying to be enough.
For the Supermassive Blackhole: Nor can one indefinitely sustain the Supermassive Blackhole extreme of only ever being about one's own desire and what one will get out of the business, fame, fortune and followship piece, potentially at the expense of others along the way, before one realises the blackhole path alone, too is unsustainable on two fronts. Firstly, in order for them to grow and thrive, relationships of all kinds, plus one's contribution to a community, needs to be two way and mutually beneficial. Second, as they poignantly pointed out in "The Greatest Showman" while a million dreams are a powerful motivator for us and others to get us moving, the shadow side of ambition becomes when achievement or acknowledgement starts to come at too higher price to our mental wellbeing, as well as the relationships with those we care about most. Desire in and of itself, as many Men and any addict will tell you, pursued for its own sake, can prove to be a bottomless pit that no amount of fulfilling it will ever fully satisfy. Because it's temporary and fleeting, chasing it can be addictive. The endless desire for more; more likes, more success, more achievement and accolades, more power, more perfection, more pleasure, MINUS attachment to the supernova's soulful desire to be of service to a vision and to be present with and deeply appreciative of those we love and are already right in front of us, can be a vacuous, empty black hole within that can never be filled, for as long as we're trying to fill that place within where our soul and self love should be, with all of that external gratification.
It's easy to lose yourself filling up with all this stuff one thinks they want, trying to be bigger than one already is....when, what if we're already enough? And rather than pulling more into ourself to feel enough, like the black hole, we instead need to recieve the energy of ourselves, and then expand out like the supernova?
The process of slipping into that extreme, is often so subtle/so gradual, or conversely, so incredibly rapid, you don’t even realise it’s happening. But if we’re not careful, the inner voice of the growing addiction might just start to become louder than that of the soulful call to service to the highest good of ALL and then we become overly reliant on it for gratification and our self worth and sense of having value in the world. Over being able to fill ourselves up with our own love, acceptance and acknowledgement. And then suddenly, to those who can view and experience us from an external vantage point, we might start to look less Supernova and feel a whole lot more Supermassive Black holes to be around. Make sense?
Understanding this and creating our own strategies to stay grounded, balanced and aligned in the most heart centred, soulful version of us and present to our soulful purpose and intention, is an essential piece of the Leadership Development process and our maturation as individual leaders. And one that i think is ultimately going to become even MORE relevant on a massive scale in 2019, as social media presence continues and the entrepreneurial paradigm in particular continues to grow.
Which is why i'm now asking a question, with love:
What kind of leader do you want to be in 2019????? How does she or he feel called to show up in your work leadership and life this year?
I know you wouldn't be here unless you were meant to be and ARE a great one. Here's to your shining supernova bright in 2019 xx
Until next time, have fun, take care.
To all of you who i've worked with in 2018, to those of you who have been a part of my wider community and or me of yours, to all of you who've taken the time to regularly stop by and read my musings, to support all that i do too in 2018, and to good friends and family near and far, my sincerest, most heartfelt thanks for all of your support and our shared journey in 2018. And Happy Holidays to you! Wishing you have a peaceful, restful, happy and safe holiday break. Raising an entirely decent glass of Shiraz Rose in celebration with those of you who've had an awesome year and riding into Christmas on a high. And sending lots of love and holding in my heart any of you who aren't having such a great time this Christmas. Believe you me, this year particularly of all years, i feel you. xx
A few additional thoughts to last week on the end of year and aligning for the best possible year in the next one...
While this time of year can occasionally feel very lonely, it's worth remembering that all the feels that come up right now are not meant to be permanent. A lot is moving up and out of us, an old version of parts of us is expiring, that, like an app on our iphones, is no longer the best program to support what we want to create and how we want to relate in 2019. As that old version dies, the thoughts and feelings that come up symptomatic of that death process are often very absolute and resolute. And it's necessary to feel completely over them, completely done with that, like you'd rather die that experience that particular thing again....because it takes us getting to that level of conviction to let go of our attachment to that old psychological and energetic version of us for good and all that we were able to create in the world (or rather restricted in creating in the world) from that version of who we thought we were and thought things are, to actually give the truest, fullest, most breathtakingly amazing version of us and all the abundance that's been trying to reach us for as long as we've been asking for it, long enough to actually fully manifest within us, and in turn be created and mirrored back through the world around us.
So the challenge is not to get lost in the pain and get caught up in blame. But to take full responsibility for what is within us that is within our power to influence and change.
What we CAN do is love and forgive, and let go of the version of us that we thought we were, to make way for who we REALLY are and how things REALLY are and could be instead in the world going forward.
What we can do is find the gifts and the gold in all that was, so that we can move forward with love and positive perspective in our hearts and heads.
What we can do is come back to, to realign with the simplicity, beyond all our huge dreams and goals, of what we love and what matters most to us in life. And re-align into the truest, most soulful version of who we really are and allow it's full embodiment in this moment right now. And then envision and plan our next years action from that place, before finally taking action in 2019 from that place.
On the insistence of a friend that i need to write about, i recently recorded an approximately 30min audio on the subject (available below), along with a 15min realignment meditation after it (at 17 minutes in, to be precise.)
Based on the process i'd been doing in my private sessions since i first started an energetic wellness practice back in 2009, and this model that explains what is essentially, actually a universal alignment and manifestation process, i also created a workbook you can access below:
Love to hear how you go with these. And I’m truly excited for all of the awesomeness that I know (after years of watching people i've worked with manifest truly miraculous stuff while doing this work) CAN and WILL unfold in your world when you implement this process.
For now, here's hoping you have a peaceful, restful, happy and safe holiday break. With all my heart, I wish for you, that this be your best year yet in business, in leadership, in love and life. And I look forward to chatting with you again soon in 2019.
Big love xx
It's that time of year again. The one where, in our Business/Practitioner and Personal Development worlds, and maybe in the more quiet, midnight, finally NOT busy moments that many of you out there might be having too, we all start reflecting on the year that was and what we will or wont take forward from it.
Maybe it was an awesome one for you and everything came together in whole, new amazing ways that blew your mind. In which case, whoo, hoo! High fives!
If there were some aspects of it that it hasn't quite gone or come together yet exactly how you hoped, again let me emphasise the YET, there's a story i wanted to re-share with you.
I think there's an analogy for what the journey can be like worth remembering in the film La La Land, when May puts on her play. Remember, when Sebastian arrived and, in tears, she told him she felt so mortifiedly embarrassed and like she'd failed because she "only" sold about 9 or 10 seats, couldn't pay back the theatre and she was done? It always makes me a little bit sad when i see that because
a) she's awesome
b) it's not uncommon to have had to cover the costs of running things in the early days...if only someone had told her that, and or taught her enough about manifestation to set the intention that, at minimum, she break even (or better) and
c) i'm the kind of person that, wether i was presenting at an event where i had a room overflowing with people trying to squeeze into an outdoor event space and rows of people around the outside wanting to listen to what i had to say even through a canvas tent, or i had 2 or 3 women in a new breakthrough workshop i was testing or a Women's Circle, i'm always like "FUCK YES, I GET TO HELP 2 or 3 PEOPLE WHO ARE INTO THIS ENOUGH TO COMMIT!" WHOO! And i'll give them as much of my everything as i'd give a room of 110. Shattering that her man didn't find a way to make it. But brilliant that 10 people came. Sure, 2 apparently didn't get it and she overheard mirroring her greatest fears that really she's not making it because she really doesn't 'have what it takes'.
But then one of those people just happened to be an agent, who totally saw her, and invites her to audition for a film they're shooting in Paris. They love her, they give her the part and built the movie around her. Then 5 years later, she walks in, in her fancy French dress, back into the cafe on the movie lot where she used to work, only now SHE's the famous actress being driven around on the gold cart that all the aspiring young actresses want to shout a coffee.
A few important lessons in that:
-never doubt your own value, right here right now.
-stay connected to the bigger picture of what's really always unfolding for us all and be grateful for every opportunity and the hidden or obvious gold within it
-Learn to truly see and enjoy every bit of the journey and be grateful for everyone and every experience along the way.
-you are not how many likes or comments you get on anything- a post, a review, a workshop, a play, whatever the thing. It doesn't mean what our mind often jumps to the conclusion that it must mean. We are not the sum total of our externally awarded fame or fortune, or perceived lack-there-of. And if you're looking up the peak of the mountain, only appreciating the climbers on top of it (while missing the value of the ones right next to you) aspiring from a place of "I'm not enough, I'll be enough, my life will be enough when X happens" you've lost your way.
-never wait to say the things in life that matter most, or make the people you love the most (and they you) a priority NOW because you never know when you might not get another chance
-sometimes in life, it's just a timing thing and you're waiting for life and other people to align. Some aspects of that are completely out of our control. What we can control is within us and we can choose what actions we take to stay in alignment with and in the proactive creation of our part of it.
What you can control at the end of this year is that there is still an audience of people out there who need exactly what you're putting down. And this year is not over yet. There's still 15 days left, with which you can make a difference for the year. And still do, or say, what's, as yet, left undone and unsaid, with the people who matter most. Fifteen days to find and create some gold within all that is and connect with what is still to be. What will you do with them? How can you most make them count?
Big love to you.
And other values that are some of the foundational stones of modern-day success.
HONESTY, TRANSPARENCY, INTEGRITY and RESPONSIBILITY
In Business and Leadership, you don’t have to lie, manipulate and omit whole aspects of truth and reality to get people on board for your ANYTHING, product, program, cause or otherwise.
If you understand and are aware of the value of a product or service you’ve used or experienced and genuinely LOVE, you sharing your honest to God experience of why it’s so awesome, why you really love it and how it’s solved yours or others known annoying problems, and or supports their goals and aspirations, sharing this openly speaks for itself.
Then when people ask you questions about it, about the process, the logistics, about how it will work for them personally, answer them honestly. You don’t need to try and hide the down moments or potential side effects, or the challenges that might also come up along the way, or the realistic timelines, or your level of experience. In fact, the more REAL you can be ABOUT those moments and how you and your team support people to successfully NAVIGATE them, the BETTER.
If you’re in a learning phase or wanting to get something new tested up and running, it’s FINE to tell people that and allow them the possibility of choosing to engage in the process with you. I’m an avid believer in that, no matter where you are on the journey in life, on a planet with 7 billion plus people, there’s always a whole bunch of people perfectly suited to exactly where you’re at right now. Who would be happy to DO that process with you in exchange for whatever terms you set out and agree upon together. For whatever price you feel is integral for where you’re at (and that will change over time anyway as you evolve.)
When people ask you about your own success, past, or present, tell them and let the right ones who can be ok with that CHOOSE you. When people ask me how long it will take for them to have success, I do my best within my knowledge to give it to them straight. I’m the last person, simultaneously, who wants to rain on people’s parades of potential by putting limiting beliefs, doubts or conditions on anyone that hold them back or restrict what they THINK they can then achieve. And I tell them that and that I’m here to hold the space for the BEST possible outcome and their highest potential to be realised.
But then I honestly communicate, based on X number of factors like
(as just a few things), those things make the difference between you starting to get momentum in 90 days or being like some of the now world-leading Marketing experts that openly tell you it took some of them 8 years and millions of dollars spent on market research and product testing on their online offerings as one example, to get to where they are now; a point that has perpetual motion. While others have nailed it freakishly fast.
I recommend you adopt the same level of radical honesty because I KNOW it works and, is one of the foundations of true success.
As part of your commitment to radical honesty, and avoiding playing into the paradigm of fear and lack based manipulation:
As a Billionaire tech start-up investor I was talking to last year on a plane said to me and I agree, the old 90’s forceful NLP loaded sales-fest way of doing things is DEAD. The NEW way is based on radical honesty, respect and service based on sharing what you know, doing your best to lead by example, being true to your values…and as a part of a collaborative TEAM of support at that. To give value, WITH a viable pathway of follow-on support available at the ready SHOULD a person wish to continue to further access your expertise and support, they can.
It’s STILL about learning how to communicate WELL and BUILD trust and connection, but WITH THE RIGHT INTENTION of HIGHEST GROWTH AND SERVICE. NOT to manipulate influence, based on a lack of trust that people would CHOOSE to follow YOU out of all others out there, attempting to coerce participation based on fear over FAITH that people would willingly CHOOSE you and your offering over others, if you put all of you and the truth on the table.
It’s time to stop spending time and energy learning and DOING 90’s style NLP based BREAKTHROUGH trying to wear down the WRONG PEOPLE and to instead ask, how and where can you put yourself in front of more of the RIGHT ones? The ones who are a SOULFUL MATCH to the REAL you. You’ll know them when you see each other because you’ll FEEL like soul mates. And then, if need be, any breakthrough is just to work out any “life” circumstantial kinks in the way that are probably more about WHEN they start, HOW it will work, and HOW MUCH, not to mention self belief, worthiness and staying focused on their own vision…..life really DOES start to get SO much easier when you start trusting life to align you with the right people and possibilities.
Living into our integrity is also being willing to take feedback on, self reflect and be self-responsible for how you showed up prior and your growth in showing up going forward. But balancing that with also learning to discern when well meaning feedback might also qualify as misplaced projection of someone’s past stuff and to let it pass through to the keeper when it does.
Having close colleagues and Supervisors/Mentors who can tell it like it is to our faces are great for helping us soundboard through those feedback moments. But as a close friend once said to me, choosing to surround yourself with ONLY people who'll tell you what you want to hear, actually keeps you small and makes you WEAK because it’s running from the possibility of growth that lies as the gift within ALL challenges that come to our way of thinking, being and believing.
We’re in serious accountability trouble as Leaders and humans if we start writing off ALL feedback as projection, out of self protection and REFUSING to be accountable. That's when, as Coaches and Human Service professionals, we become potentially Hazardous to the health of the very people we wish to serve.
Leaders self-reflect, own their stuff and reflect on their mistakes when they have to. And they’re brave enough to wear the public stoning for their past sins if they have to. No one said it’s going to be FUN to go through. But you won’t die, only your ego will. (Said by someone who’s ego has publicly died enough times to know.) In the end, all we can ever do is our best. Our best to live in line with our values and be in alignment with our highest potential and our best to show up for and to deliver on what we promise to others.
In an industry like holistic wellness, which is already well and truly under the microscope of scientific and ethical scrutiny, as I said to my Women’s Leadership community recently, there has NEVER been a time where it is MORE important in this industry to BE committed to BEING HONEST, TRANSPARENT, INTEGRAL and SELF RESPONSIBLE in ALL of our dealings, personal and professional. But it’s just as relevant to the business realms still dominated by men and service based businesses across the board, isn’t it really? Perhaps someone can forward this to Australian Liberal Party HQ right now. Just kidding…..but not really.
May we all find the support we need to never have to surrender our values or forget our long-term legacies, in the name of short term gains. May we all be supported to reach our highest potential.
Until next time….
Complete with rebellious Sagittarian “I live life by my way” attitude. she was basically a hybrid of some things that, today, I’ve since done or become, some qualities that I didn’t yet realise that I already WAS, but definitely, she was effortlessly confident, effortlessly in flow , personally and professionally expressed and she was radiantly IMPACTFUL in all the ways at the time that I perceived that I wasn’t yet and so wanted to be (or wanted to be again.)
Then, there’s the REALITY of what had happened over the years when i started TRYING to be any of what I envisioned and ESPECIALLY when you start TRYING to impress or please anyone or showcase all the best parts of yourself you SOOOOOO want them to see (and love).
[Cut the awards night music and cue the standard harsh sound of ripping the needle across the record and the intro music for the blooper reel of “impact” gone slightly “wrong.”]
Like that time in high school on a sports day I was taking a run up to jump over a rope barrier, noticed my high school love interest at the time was watching, executed, only to get half way through, have the wind blow the rope further into the air, so that my back foot DIDN’T in fact clear it…..and as I brought that foot through, proceeded to have one of those moments that looked less graceful, but A1 typical of every Warner Brothers cartoon moment where the character works out mid air that they’d just accidentally run off a cliff. I still stuck the landing, but definitely SAW it going SO much better in my head.
Or that time last year that I was standing at an impromptu beach dance party on a warm evening, with both friends and work people alike all around, started to execute what, on a Sunday morning dance-floor, would’ve been the right leg raise of a reasonably well executed Pirouette, only because it was hot and sweaty… and i was wearing skinny jeans instead of leggings… and I just caught the eye of a guy who i definitely wanted to finally GET it that I could be THAT feminine flowy expressed, INSTEAD, my leg literally gets stuck half way because of…sweaty skinny jeans....and so i do it again and overemphasise the STUCK bit mid eye gaze with a “damn it!” of frustration, embarrassed laugh.....in a manner more akin to the elegance of Bridget Jones, than a woman who’s name, in Russian literally means “Dancer.”
Interesting, isn’t it, what happens when you start TRYING to be something or impress someone with something you don’t think they already see or GET?
Contrast that with other dancy moments, on stage, in the middle of comedy performances and audiences full of agents, where there was no pressure to dance perfectly, as per the script we'd written. i just had to, say suddenly fall under a trance in the middle of a hypnotherapy workshop and, along with several others, burst into singing and dancing "I will survive” until the Hypnotherapist stopped the music; and had laughing audiences give standing ovations to that. And thought not nearly as much about the technical execution of the dance bit of it (because it was MEANT to look exactly as it probably looked)…until the next day, I’d be pulled aside by my Drama Lecturer at the end of class and asked if i'd passed the dance audition at the start of the year and why WASN'T i also doing Dance (and what was I doing about singing), when i could clearly also move and sing.
Funny, isn't it how, in the moments where you're NOT trying to be awesome, and you’re not trying to impress anyone, you just lose yourself in the flow of the moment, that you BE awesome, you shine and people notice and are positively impacted by your genius.
I’m an avid believer that anything in life is possible and any dream or vision we find ourselves repetitively having and feel drawn to act upon is a future prediction of what is already wanting to unfold and flow through us and the components of it TO us in the present moment. In that respect, no dream can be given to us we don’t already have the ability to actualise. Sometimes though, we just have to get out of our own way. of our own mind trying to control it, of our limiting beliefs about what we think we are, about wether we think we are or aren’t already "enough", of our limiting beliefs about how we think others see us....because they can become the literal disconnect from the flow of us actually achieving it. And more than that, prevent us being able to receive the love, support and the entirely complimentary partners in that reality, that are actually already trying to reach us….whether we realise it or not.
Thus getting good at BEING (not just TRYING to be awesome) is about:
Learning to see ourselves, see others and see life in the present moment as things REALLY are….through our soulful eyes, not just the constructs of our mental eyes, (which can and will see and show you evidence of whatever you believe to be the most true, good or bad. So probably best to sync them up with our soulful eyes, which see things from a much higher and more loving vantage point).
And learning to trust, surrender to the flow of and partner with a universal intelligence that is constantly conspiring in our favour always and in the direction of the constant unfolding of our highest potential, moment to moment. More often on purpose, rather than by accident.
That presence, wether we notice or not, is constantly sending us little signs and giving us little hints right throughout life, to ensure we stay in connection and alignment with that universal intelligence.
That vision I had in 2010, these days, in hindsight, I laugh and roll my eyes realising NOW that I already WAS so many of the things I wanted to be that I thought I wasn’t. Which is precisely why part of my genius in recent years has been helping others also see THEMSELVES and their full potential with clarity in the moments where they're struggling to see it too....and then supporting them to live, lead, speak, create and relate from that place. We teach what we learn.
Have you too ever had one of those “leader who’s lost their way” moments? if you ever, or the next time you do, remember you're so much more awesome thank you think you are. It's just time to reconnect. Here to help if you ever need.
Until next time, have fun, take care.
If you spend any time keeping up with sales and marketing trends, you’ll no doubt be aware, that for awhile now, online programs and online education have been hailed as part of the way of the future. And that’s true. And there’s a whole new art and process to the development of an online business, for those who happen to be in the business of selling a unique service they offer and not just someone else’s product.
This last few years, I’ve both watched and helped many people have a whole bunch of success in this realm. But just as often, supported people who gave building an online program their all, but it didn’t fly and they’re now pulling away from the whole thing, feeling largely disheartened and disillusioned with the whole thing.
Which is why I feel like it’s kind of NEEDED to point out that there’s a whole set of pre-requisite preparations you have to have made before you can expect to build an online program and see it get massive momentum. And if you hire a Mentor, they too should be telling you this.
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO FIRST (OR AT MINIMUM ALONGSIDE)
WORK ON YOUR COMMUNICATING AND RELATING SKILL SET
Take it from someone who's been hired to improve client retention for years, while leaders working on their inner game and communication and relationship skills and modes of service, there’s really know way around this one. If you want to work in the business of helping people, there’s nothing like starting a business to show you where you’re still playing out a bunch of learned unhelpful habits and childhood traumas in connection with others, where the deficiencies are in your ability to communicate effectively with them, plus build lasting relationships with others. And in this case, when it comes to online programs and sharing a message that is largely fixed in the online space, until you or an online staff member is engaged for an actual conversation, the need to be clear and confident in what you’re intending and offering is greater than ever in online business. Because the client only has the website, the sales page, the video, the visual content to go off and what vibe they can pick up from that, until such time as you've built sufficient testimonials and social proof and social media numbers up that you get authentic momentum in people realising via social proof you've got something powerful that clearly works. And/or they get that chance to interact in real time with you.
Thus, its worth taking the time to learn how to bring the absolute best of you and what you have to give in service into your communicating and relating practices.
WORK ON YOUR MODES OF SERVICE (DELIVERING AND REFINING YOUR MAGIC, BUSINESS MANAGEMENT, LEADERSHIP AND PUBLIC SPEAKING)
This section relates to the 4 main modes of service every Business Owner who has something important to say to the world and wants to make a difference helping solve people’s problems has to nail in order to achieve positive impact. The online program pre-planning steps below are where refining your magic and business development meet.
ONLINE PROGRAM PRE-PLANNING
Here’s a few business steps you have to take FIRST. (One’s that many people who bought online course building programs and haven’t nailed it yet, need to come back to.)
1. You need to have made a couple of basic decisions about exactly who you want to help via this awesome future program and with what.
2. You have to have some expert knowledge of that market and their problems and aspirations.
3. You need to make sure that the way you talk about what YOU know about their problems and aspirations, matches up with the way they think and talk about their problems and aspirations.
Helping anyone and everyone is a noble intention, but a message that is aimed at no-one in particular, connects with no-one in particular. A bit like ordering Uber eats….how can anyone bring you food if you don’t select a restaurant, a dish/dishes, and actually submit an order? Same thing with your online message, if you don’t make a decision about who you’re helping and with what. For the marketing about an online program to connect, you HAVE to know that audiences problems intimately and inside out and have a good idea of what they’re aspiring to inside out, so that when someone from your target market reads you talking about your program, they immediately think what you said was like you just stepped inside their head and were reading their mind and wrote it just for them. Period.
4. Finally, you need to do some market research on level of interest in what you’ve come up with. You need to check that a reasonable representative sample of your market are actually willing and motivated to buy what you want to offer and for that specific problem or set of problems. (This is about attuning to the collective energy of how that market needs you to show up with all that you have for them in the present, beyond what “my 3 Masters and phD’s worth of accumulated knowledge and experience that qualify me to know” alone would think is the way.)
5. Then you need to create the solution and structure it in a way that makes it as simple as possible to understand the concepts behind why you’re teaching it, what the processes are and exactly how, where and when to apply them and for what (which might mean, doing a little extra training yourself in how to both train/teach and how to present content in dynamic and impactful ways that get the best learning outcomes.)
6. Do a first “test” run on delivering your solution, then
7. Get feedback about what the client did and didn’t get out of it and on anything else they’d like added or addressed now (which you examine with objectivity and a degree of discernment to determine that they got sufficient value out of it and if it’s worth running again and further investing in AND
8. Refine what you just created into a version 2.0 that you start putting more resources behind. If it works again in repeat, THEN you start throwing your everything behind it.
At minimum, depending on the program length, that could take you 6 months to a year to execute, sometimes up to 3 or more before you nail ALL of the above enough for this program to truly fly and you should be planning to have an alternative source of income (wether accumulated in the past or off something else you do in the present for that time).
Because like they say in tiny fine print at the bottom of sales pages and terms and conditions forms, that "how amazing is she" million dollar Mumpreneur you just read about, who's nailed everything i just wrote about and got out of her own way, is NOT A-1 typical of everyone attempting online program building for a living...so please don't beat the mental bejeebus out of yourself thinking you're not as good as her, or him or any other entrepreneur sharing their present wins. For every one of those, most entrepreneurs who are still in it now have had just as many failed attempts at offerings as they have had wins. (Lord knows I have...and more than that, i could tell you why i had every one of those fails and how NOT to do it again.)
And just FYI, half those people who advertised on FB last month with their amazing "secret formulas for making 15K a month" (after they only just did it once for the first time, like ever.)..are often now struggling to repeat it and are contemplating jobs again this month. What you read on FAKEbook is only half the story. Anyone who's worth their Mentoring weight in gold will tell you the truth, so that you can plan, manage your reactions and expectations, but then they'll hold you to being your best and getting your best work done and out there in the world.
If you've had a go or to at an online program and it hasn't landed yet in the way you hoped and you'd like a bit of help in working out which foundational steps you've missed and what you still need to do next to take both your local practice and online program building to the next level, don't forget our fortnightly Women in Wellness Leadership Group Mastermind starts next week and it's a golden opportunity to start planning and executing NOW on making 2019 your best year in business YET.
You can connect with me below if you'd like to know more.
Until next time.....
but also the paradoxical nature of things when female leaders stand there blocking the door, guilting and shaming the female leaders and women out there who are ready to step up and off the abuse merri-go-around for good as "regressing," "disowning themselves in service to the patriarchy" and doing something wrong for choosing their hearts and to start daring to look forward again, instead of drowning in the constant revisitation of a past that feels done and no longer has a call or a charge.. Oh fuck, did i just say that shit out loud? Well fuck, I must just be brainwashed AF by the fucking patriarchy and New Caging it for wanting a little love and peace in my life.
Or maybe there's another possibility. Maybe in the healing journey from abuse there IS a phase where you step up and away from the merri go round and choose to explore what lies beyond the wound. Beyond the identity and the self worth we can inevitably sometimes also become dependent upon when we choose to share our trauma stories with the world and the world responds back with affirmations of our strength, courage and amazingness. What happens though when you come to the point where you're ready to let go of that story and that identity? And you no longer want to be a part of the public owning or holding the healing?
As i write this, i'm trying to infuse it with as much love and presence as i possibly can and I own that yes, i feel the tension of feeling, for some parts of it, done. And i don't share this lightly. Because i remember what happened the first time a sister called me out on my attachment to that identity back in early 2014. One minute, i was sitting in a cafe with her telling her about my life purpose in helping women who'd been through huge stuff in life move on and GET ON with living lives they love. The next day, I'm face to face with a Facebook post she wrote about women who's sense of self worth is completely derived on attachment to their trauma wound.
And suddenly, in the space of about 3 minutes, I felt thoroughly suicidal, or like my hold world internal world was ripping apart at least. Why?
It's no small thing when someone tells you to just let an entire identity your healing was dependent upon the fuck go.
Until then, I hadn't REALLY ever gone head to head with healing my trauma wounds until that point in that time to the level of depth i needed to. I'd done mental layers, as I found out that they existed. I did the body work and the work on owning my own voice and my rage. But i'd managed to bypass a lot of stuff in training as a Counsellor and deciding that i would shift my focus to helping others and was going to make my experience count for something by helping others going through the same thing
One of the hardest things for women and people who've been through a lot of crap in life is to trust that there really IS something beyond the identity of brokenness, physically and psychologically. And there are actually phases to the letting go. The letting go of being a victim, to being a practitioner and or owning your capacity to rebuild a new life was one phase. But then potentially moving beyond whole communities of women and men you healed and maybe worked with to the next thing are two others that can be JUST as fear inducing to the average person.
But coming back to my example of attachment TO the story. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with choosing to help people as the next step of one's healing journey, it can be a PART of the healing and necessary. BUT, at the same time, when you do so, you have to be really careful to keep your story and the affirmation people give you for it in perspective. And watch your potential dependency on that. Keep your self worth, well balanced. I suddenly realised in that moment that I didn't have a clue what my value was in the world BEYOND that identity i'd created as a healer. What else did i have that people would value and buy me for, if i let that go? And dare i say it out loud, what purpose did i have as a 30 something childless woman if not to be Mother Mary'ing those who needed Mothering the most because they'd never had it to the level they needed? (The wounded AND the abusers.) (Again, don't get me wrong, i'm not saying being able to help your clients heal by embodying parental energy is a BAD thing. But i am saying we have to watch our true motivation for doing so and ensure we're doing it for the right reasons and not just playing out own OWN stuff with clients in the process. That's why supervision is such an important thing.)
Back then, at times, I sat in the middle of a spinning merri go round, staring at an exit that periodically kept coming into view every few seconds, suddenly terrified of what lay on the other side of the door. Suddenly terrified of who exactly i was on the other side of that door. And who would be left if i walked through it. That moment feels ridiculously empty and lonely, because no one can walk through the door for you or WITH you. A part of you has to die in that moment and be reborn and that can't happen while everyone is still attached. All they can do is let go, and the ones you are truly meant to keep journeying with you will meet you on the other side of the door.
Who are you on the other side of the door? You are love. You are love in motion, wanting to express and experience itself in every moment. You are inspiring in every moment that you live your hearts truth and speak from your heart. You are someone who looks through the doorway to the merri go around every once in a while and beams a fuckload of love at it as an advert of what's possible to those still sizing up the doorway. But you're also someone tremendously courageous for choosing to live the life purpose that comes next. Whatever that might be for each individual.
Maybe you STILL solve people's problems. But a whole other set of problems to the ones you fast started working with. Maybe you train people in another set of skills that you didn't realise until now that you even had. Maybe you sell your creations. Maybe you nurture people in a whole new way. Maybe you start taking a stand for what you love, instead of what you're appalled by. I can't tell you what it is. Only you can feel it out for yourself what living a life you love, with those you love looks like for you.
But i'll tell you this much. As i stepped through that doorway, i tell you, it beats reliving the pain and trauma of it over and over. It beats being stuck as a part of a system chock full of unconscious rescuers completely invested for THEIR sense of self worth in your brokenness and you STAYING broken and a part of the fight. Not to mention feeling constantly shamed for no longer wanting to be a pawn on the battlefield that lies half way between the chess pieces of good and evil. "Angels" v's "demons", good guys v's bad guys, with 7 billion humans in between. Fuck that. Like the Devil card in the tarot, in life, (though at times it may not feel like it) any mental chains that you find loosely draped around yourself actually can be easily removed any time you want in reality and every person still caught up in that paradigm can run free at any time they choose, if and when they want to. (If you're not sure how, ask me.)
You are the maker of your own destiny, you get to write each and every chapter of this story. And you're just as inspiring to people everywhere when you go all out living a life you love, with those you love. Watching you, they may just give themselves permission to the same. That's an encouraging thought, don't you think?
Spend a little bit of time with me, and you'll soon find that there are 3 things i'm pretty passionate about when it comes to our future leaders and business. And those are, 1) helping them confidently bring forward more of their uniqueness in all aspects of life 2) in an increasingly tech focused, world, that has moved more online than ever, maintaining the quality of human connection that has always been the magic of face to face engagement and 3) Helping them master all the tools, practices and modes of service delivery that will help them do that, one of which i think fore sure is video.
BUT there is also some pretty good real-world evidence as to why in your business, if you've been resisting this whole video thing that the world seems to be learning towards now, it might be time, not to mention entirely necessary for the benefit of the future clients i know you're passionate about helping, to embrace it. This blog is about WHY:
OUR CURRENT ONLINE AND VIDEO CONSUMPTION BEHAVIOUR
For a start, Americans are now spending approximately on average 6 hours a day interacting with media online and Australian's are not far behind. Of the nearly seven hours we spend each day on tablets, phones and computers, according to the report done earlier this year by We are Social, in collaboration with Hootsuite, around 5.34 hours per day of that is online.
If you're curious to know what the latest figures (September 2018) on what the top 26 sites are that Australian's are spending their online time on, check out Vivid Social's latest September 2018 report here and the breakdown of U.S. online engagement in the Nielsen 2018 report here.
Now the big question.
HOW MANY HOURS ARE WE SPENDING ON VIDEO EACH WEEK AND WHERE?
Globally, Youtube is the world’s second largest search engine and we watch over 1 billion hours of video on there per day (15 million of those are being watched by Australians.) That's well above the 100 million hours per day in September 2018 spent watching Facebook Video and 116 million per day spent on Netflix.
That means a HUGE percentage of your potential clients would appear to be on those platforms watching video, both recreationally and it's where they end up when they're trying to solve their problems in all aspects of life. Video is a big part of online education, it's a huge part of workplace training culture, it's a part of what employees are doing when they're MEANT to be working. And for those working 9-5 type hours, they’re sitting on their daily commutes watching videos or listening to Podcasts. Before getting home to families where there are an average of 6 devices being used to access live tv, on demand video content, video games and, of course, all of the platforms mentioned above.
Bottom line, if you want your message to more effectively reach more of the approximately 85% of Australians alone who are still using TV's and accessing online video content for those above hours, you might need to be hanging out, like the chefeur at the airport holding up a sign for their VIP client, on video, holding up your message there as your version of yours.
IF YOU WANT TO WORK WITH GEN Z, YOU NEED TO LEARN THEIR PREFERRED PLATFORM OF COMMUNICATION
Wether you're wanting to work with young people as clients or are managing them in the working world, video is also the communication tool of choice of many young people. According to Stillman and Stillman in Gen Z at work (e.g. Gen Z being the generation born between 1995 and 2012,) when they interviewed 1000’s of Leaders, HR’s directors and Gen Z's themselves on life and working life through their eyes, as a general rule, Gen Z’s are all over video. When they apply for a job now, or university place, their CV’s and applications are all or accompanied by a video. If you look at recruitment platforms across the country, from the governments Jobactive, to Retail Recruiters, you might have noticed video applications in Australia are fast becoming the thing now in line with this. More than that, when it comes to meetings and videos, where a Boomer or a Gen X'er would come and meet a potential client or partner somewhere for a meeting, a Gen Z will likely set up a video chat with you from home, to your office. That’s normal for them.
Moral of the story, not only is video fast becoming a preferred communication tool of the present going into the future, If you want to work with Gen Z as a target market, it’s pretty much essential that you get a little better acquainted with my good friend video, in all it's online applications.
AS A HUMAN SERVICE BASED BUSINESS OWNER, PRACTITIONER, COACH, AND LEADER, SHORT OF BEING IN THE ROOM WITH YOU, IT'S THE NEXT BEST WAY TO CONVEY YOUR MAGIC
As a Practitioner, Healer, Counsellor, Coach, Mentor, Creative or Transformational Therapist, Leader, Speaker, Facilitator or Trainer, your essence and that unique presence that only you can provide, IS your magic and as a Mentor of mine was saying earlier this week, it's the one thing that basically nobody else can replicate. I've been saying it for years too. In a busy market place where there are now many people with similar training and skillsets, or even in a clinic, where there are 5 other Counsellors, the one thing that sets you apart and that they will choose you for, IS their resonance with your unique essence, plus professional and personal experience. I've said this before too, but never did that become more obvious to me than when i was trained, along with several other Mentors, to offer program content we'd mostly been taught and you'd have 6 of us lined up, basically saying the same thing to a group of clients. But clients would always pick who they'd pick based on who they felt they had the most in common with. Because that's the game of people and relationships and the nature of the human helping relationship, wether therapeutic or or a teaching one.
Thus, in order to connect with clients in a way that inspires them to work with you, it is absolutely essential that you be able to communicate a direct transmission of YOU (eg showcase YOU) with the most suitable medium to accurately capture and communicate it. Short of you being in the room with them, what is it? Yep, video.
While good writing CAN convey an energetic quality and personality for sure, it’s sometimes much hardER to convey with the same level of emotion and personality, your unique essence and the quality of the experience a potential client is going to have with you, in writing. Not to mention, it's infinitely more open to interpretation and falls victim to projection and misinterpretation far more often, because there's no verbal or less obvious non verbal communication to go off.
But, on the other hand, get equally comfortable with conveying the same message via video and it’s incredibly easy to remove these miscommunication hassles by using video, where they can engage with you with far more senses and thus get a much more realistic impression of the REAL you. Plus the experience they'll have in session or in an online program with you, wether online or face to face.
Not to mention, if you want to reach a much bigger audience, a global audience, video again opens up the world to you, to a much greater degree
with all senses engaged to a level that goes beyond what you can do on a voice call alone. Until you can get there in person, it's the next best thing.
Have I sold you yet? While Podcasts are definitely also a thing, video is holding our attention for a much larger percentage of each and every day right now and so is just as much a tool you want to nail. And the places it gets watched, where you want to be hanging out.
Cowling, D, Social Media Statistics Australia- September 2018, 1st Oct 2018
Tilley, C, Chart of the day- How we are spending our internet minutes, 2nd July 2018
De Spinola, C, 2018 Digital Report Australia, 15 Feb 2018
Stillman D & Stillman, J, Gen Z at Work, Harper Collins, New York, 2017
Time flies: US adults now spend nearly 6 hours per day watching video, Neilson Insights, 7 July 2018
One of the most powerful lessons I ever learned about leadership, I learned at age 16-17, as a Senior Student and Lead Actor in our yearly high school productions, having been trusted by two of my Teachers and Mentors to run several rehearsals with about 150 students involved, on their behalf.
Simultaneously, I’d also been a peer support leader, assigned, along with 2 other year 11 leaders, to a group of year 7’s, who through regular group sessions and one on one, we’d support through their transition into high school life and do our best to help them realise their highest potential in all aspects of life. So wether it was in the yard or a corridor somewhere, in the gym rehearsing, or in the change rooms afterwards, lots of the younger kids would often come and find me wanting to chat when they were either worried about something to do with their role in the production, or just when stuff was going on at school or in life full stop.
My big lesson though came the week ahead of one of the particular productions, at which time I was also trying to rally the students for funds to buy a thank you present for our Drama and Art Teachers who run the school productions. And had asked at each of the last few rehearsals for donations, but hadn’t seen much coming in yet for our thank you present and was starting to both worry and was feeling in myself frustrated as to why this was happening and why I felt like they weren’t listening or taking action.
I had a great deal of empathy and compassion for why I imagined many of the students may not have money to give or parents supportive of them doing so. And any number of reasons they’d not yet made it a priority. But when giving and gratitude innately in my head go hand in hand with leadership and service, but also receiving support, especially when people are going above and beyond for you, I found myself asking, are they not also grateful? Do they not get what a gift this is? What am I doing wrong here? How do I motivate them to care as much about this as I do to inspire action taking here?
I wanted to be a positive role model and help them grow in positive ways through this production. I wanted to do a great job as a Leader, on behalf of my awesome leaders, who were so good at encouraging kids highest potential to come forward and inspiring them to grow, through focusing on their strengths. And it was obviously the one thing I couldn’t ask my Mentors for help on!
Standing in front of that room that day, in front of in the vicinity of 150 students, this is where I messed it up:
There was a part in my address about our shared vision, a reminder about donations for the present where I thanked and expressed gratitude to everyone who’d paid and to all for their hard work.
BUT then there was the part where I lost it and went the way of “do you people not get how much our teachers and everyone are giving up so that not only we get this opportunity, but many of you get a space where you can get out of classes you don’t want to be in, seriously, 50c of your lunch money instead of that extra chocolate frog you’re going to buy in half an hour, it’s not that hard, get some gratitude" route, with my best condescending parent guilt tripping tone.
In other words, i went the way of the GUILT TRIP.
Four things happened after that little speech.
But then D…..and this is where the lesson is.
And I learned some of the greatest lessons you will ever learn about leadership that week:
You might win the respect of a few as a leader for standing for something and being willing to hold your ground. BUT, you don’t win respect or follow-ship through judgement and moral condescension. And you don’t bring you and your people closer through it either.
People will do what you ask because you’re the leader, but secretly hate you for not seeing and recognising the good in them and honouring and rewarding their good behaviour, talents and efforts. And they will resent you for not showing more compassion and acknowledgement when they’re going through stuff or compassion when somebody is believed to be at fault, when really they didn’t mean to let anyone down and their hearts are in the right place. And if you don't own your sh#t, they'll resent you even more.
Many of those kids already copped enough of that at home every day. And maybe they had parents who, like me in that moment, feared and doubted in themselves, in their own authority and the innate power of their own voices and ability to have a boundary or request be respected. Thus would resort to TRYING to be powerful and intimidating, or morally condescending, trying to bring about behavioural change. They didn’t need me to be another moral guilt tripping parent figure, trying to exact an old-school B.F. Skinner style Operating behavioural modification through punishment alone, as a Leader..
They needed me to, especially in THIS challenging moment, show up in my heart. To see and meet the part of them eye to eye, heart to heart, that WAS loving, WAS grateful, that WAS struggling, that was the highest version of themselves already in expression.
They needed me to encourage them and acknowledge all the little things I see them doing where they’re already being all the kinds of awesome that they already were. And to do what I would normally do in just reminding them (as I had done every other time prior) about contributing by today if they want and are able to and for me to get over my shit if I got a no. And keep doing what I would always do in being there if they needed and being generous with insight or advice if they asked for it too.
I needed to consciously show up as the version of me that both trusted in how powerful we are alone when you own your truth and speak from your heart. And understood how impactful words can be without you ever having to TRY and put force behind them. In fact, words a so powerful we need to be careful to always stay heart connected , speak kindly and stay attuned to the non verbal feedback we’re receiving about how the words we’re choosing are impacting the person we’re speaking to. To be sensitive to and adjust our tact as may be required based on the reaction of the person or audience on the receiving end of whatever it is you’ve just said.
Thus a few things to remember about how to be a great Leader, the kind the truly motivates and inspires, that brings people closer and unites them to work together for a cause, side by side:
People will be far more willing to grow with you and support your cause if you give freely of yourself and your wisdom to them, give gratitude often and focus on the growth people are achieving over punishing fault and failure.
Sometimes that means asking how things are going or went and how could we do this better or bring about a solution in regards to this, instead. E.g. Go for the positive trip, instead of the guilt one.
And PRACTICING (hence role modelling) OWNERSHIP if you make a mistake, APOLOGISING for the impact when you do and practicing compassion and forgiveness with self and others when a mistake is made, so that we can all get back to being the best versions of ourselves as we continue to work towards our shared vision and mission.
In the end, you build connection and trust by looking at what we have in common, over our differences
That’s how you create trust and closeness in your tribe and be positively influential, in inspiring people to be and do their best.
Until next time, have fun take care.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.